BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I happen to be a big fan of Father Guido Sarducci.  One of my favorite stories of his involves Carr-dih-naal-uh Foon-gee… The story is funny, but the name is downright hilarious.

Well, that’s not what this is about. I know, never is…

You see, when you have a really demanding redhead in your life – yes, E K – and you have to cook for her, you tend to start getting creative. ESPECIALLY when she decides that she, her personal doormat (that being moi), and everyone else entering the hallowed halls of La Casa de la Pelirrojas will be going 80% vegetarian.

I say 80% because in order to keep up the strength in her whip arm, she does like to have some fish or fowl now and then. And, on special occasions she likes a piece of dead cow. But as I said, those would be the special occasions…

And so, this is where I get Czar Foon-Gee. You see, Her Supreme Evilness is a fan of Beef Stroganoff. However, if you are trying to be mostly, sorta, 80% vegetarian, heaping a mess of dead, floured, fried, and braised Moo on your plate really isn’t the way to go.

So, as I was taking my daily beating from the evil redhead, for whatever infraction I had, or had not, perpetrated that day, I got to thinking – how can I whomp up some non-beef beef stroganoff?

Well, there are several ways to go about it, but since a good hunk of the recipe already revolves around fungus – that being mushrooms, of course – I thought, why not build upon that.

And so, I did…

CZAR FOON-GEE

(Mushroom Stroganhoff To Feed The Evil Redhead – Serves 6-8)

Not the best pic... This was a trial run and was missing the oyster mushrooms, plus I only had regular egg noodles on hand that day...

Ingredients

• 2 Large Portobello Mushrooms
• 8 ounces Crimini Mushrooms
• 8 ounces Oyster Mushrooms
• 1 Large Zucchini Squash
• 1 Small Vidalia Onion
• 4 ounces butter
• 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 Cup Vegetable Stock (Preferably Homemade)
• 1 Tbsp Tomato Paste
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/3 cup white wine
• salt to taste
• ground black pepper to taste
• Olive oil

I’ll take some heat for this, but hey, when don’t I?

However, before I say what I am going to take heat for, I would like to point out that I am not targeting any single religious group. I’m not actually targeting anyone. I am, however, finding myself confounded by those who who offer up religion – or deity, more specifically – as an excuse. And that goes for any and all religious paths – be the reference aimed at God, Lord and Lady, God and Goddess, Buddha, ad infinitum…

Here’s why…

Friday – GOOD Friday, mind you, just in case you are keeping track – Saint Louis experienced one of the worst tornadoes and storm systems it has in years. Fact is, this whole spring has been wicked for the Midwest and South. Here in STL we’ve had more hail and tornadoes for one season than I can remember. I don’t know if that’s a historical fact. I’m simply relying on my memory. Thing is, it’s been rough. From New Year’s Eve, through February, and on into spring we’ve had tornadoes touching down, and storms rolling through with straight line winds, hail, and all the trimmings. Plenty of damage too…

This past Friday’s storm put down a twister that is currently being estimated at an EF3. It did millions of dollars worth of damage to Lambert STL Airport, which incidentally is where I fly from on a regular basis, and is also just a scant few miles from my house. It all but leveled one subdivision as well, and caused immense amounts of damage to others. This isn’t even counting what it did to the West in Saint Charles County and to the East in Illinois.

Yet, injuries were minor, and so far I’ve heard no reports whatsoever of loss of life. This is a wonderful thing. My way of thinking is that because of technology and connectivity, folks were informed and prepared. We live in a vastly different world than that of 100 years ago. Hell, it’s vastly different than that of when I was a kid my daughter’s age. Back then you really had no idea what was coming until it was right on top of y0u. Now, it’s a whole different story and if you are paying attention to the radio, the TV, the internet, or even your phone, you can take cover with time to spare…

Hey, even E K, the O-spring, and I spent some time hanging out in our basement when the tornado began to cut its swath through our area. We were technically in its path, and they can change direction. Better safe than sorry. Technology. It can save lives. Gotta love it…

But here’s my thing…

No matter where I’ve turned – the news, Facebook, email, in person conversations – I keep hearing things like:

Thank God, nobody was seriously hurt.

Thank the Lord and Lady you’re okay…

etc…

Now, I should mention, I certainly appreciate the sentiments and I am glad that people are glad that I am okay – and that everyone else is okay too.  Trust me, I get it. I appreciate it. I thank you for it. I’m glad that I am okay too. I’m glad that nobody was seriously hurt, be they my friends or even total strangers.

But let’s look at this a bit closer – Since all of these deities – (if one subscribes to the beliefs) – are responsible for everything that happens – (God’s will, Buddha provides, the Lord and Lady have plans for me/you/us/them, ad nauseum…) – they are also directly responsible for raining down said destruction upon us.

So… Why are we thanking them for this? Kinda reeks of a fraternity hazing, doesn’t it? Sorry, but I’m not about to look up to the sky and say, “Thank you, may I have another?”

Nope. The only divine intervention I am seeing here is that of Doppler radar, high resolution satellites, TV, Radio, Internet, and Smart Phones…

What’s that?

Ohh… Well… Umm… Well yeah… You are correct… I will look up at E K and say “Thank you, may I have another,” but that’s a whole different story and we won’t discuss it on a PG rated blog…

More to come…

Murv

PS. Just so nobody gets the wrong idea, I’m very glad everyone is okay, and escaped with only minor injuries, if any at all.  I also feel for those who lost their homes, etc. I’m just not going to ascribe any good fortune to an unseen deity who is also theoretically responsible for the disaster in the first place…