" /> BRAINPAN LEAKAGE » Movies, TV, Celebrities
  • SPAM, By Any Other Name…

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    …Is probably SMEAT.

    I bet you thought I was going to say TREET, didn’t you? Well, if it comes to the actual product, yeah, TREET is likely to be what you’ll find in my cupboard. As I’ve pointed out before, I can pick up TREET for 99¢ at the local supermarket, whereas its almost identical cousin SPAM is more along the line of 3 bucks. It doesn’t take Professor Eppes from Numbers to do that math. Hell, I can even do it without taking off my shoes and socks.

    But, let’s get back to SMEAT.

    You see, when you create a work of fiction, grey areas of copyright law such as “Fair Use” don’t apply. What this means is, you can’t quote song lyrics without permission, and it’s a really, really bad idea to use trademarked brand names without permission. Unfortunately, obtaining permission can sometimes – actually, most of the time – be a mission you’d rather not undertake. I managed to luck out and obtain permission from Michael Moorcock, the copyright holder on the lyrics for a particular song performed by Blue Oyster Cult. And, let me tell you, it really was luck. I’ve tried to snag permission to quote lyrics from other artist’s since, and they’ve all either simply not replied, told me no way, or most often immediately replied with “GIMME GIMME A big a$$ chunk of your pie” – (apparently they too think we authors just rake in the cash.) Don’t get me wrong… It’s their intellectual property – or in many cases, belongs to a music licensing firm – but, I’m here to tell you they can be pretty ridiculous when it comes to their expectations regarding payment.

    And, music isn’t the only thing we are talking about here. Brand names of products fit into this mix as well. Of course, there are also certain trademarked names that have actually become so pervasive as to end up in our colloquial lexicon, such as “Kleenex”. Give a listen during cold and flu season sometime. Between the sneezes and sniffles, the majority of the sick folk will refer to tissues as “Kleenex”. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that. It’s simply something that has become ingrained in our culture – which was what the company was trying to do in the first place. However, since “Kleenex” is trademarked, if a character in a story happens to need a good nose blow, to be on the safe side they should probably use a tissue, not a “Kleenex”… Readers will still know what you are talking about. In fact, for many of them, they will simply think “Kleenex” in place of tissue. It’s one of those Jedi Mind tricks our brains play on us.

    But, if you really want to us “Kleenex,” I’m not about to stop you. As I’ve made perfectly clear, I have no intention of telling anyone how to write. Not my place, not my thing.

    But, let’s get back to the SMEAT. SMEAT - SPAMlike movie prop

    You see, unless you are watching a big budget Bond flick, or some other Hollywood advertising vehicle that contains insane amounts of bought and paid for product placement throughout, the props you see on screen aren’t necessarily what you think they are.

    Yeah… It’s another one of those Jedi Mind tricks.

    Sky Sluts movie prop book coverYou see, you aren’t likely to see SPAM in a movie. What you will see is SMEAT. Of course, had it been me designing the props, I would have called it SMEET – you know, SPAM plus TREET… But, I can see where they were coming from. At any rate, the same thing applies for just about anything else you see on the screen – cans of soup, books, newspapers, etc. None of them are real. They are fabricated to look close enough to an actual product so as to trick your mind into instantly recognizing it. Of course, some of them are simply made to look “real,” but not to necessarily trigger a subliminal connection to an actual product. For instance, the book cover above. For me, “Sky Sluts” doesn’t trigger a connection to an actual book title, nor does the cover art. However, I have to admit, now that I’ve seen it I’m damn curious about what the actual story might be. My guess is that it is fairly weak on plot, substance, character development, and maybe even writing. However, I get the impression it tries to make up for all of that with action.

    Now, if you don’t believe me about this whole movie prop thing, I can understand your skepticism, but I’m not making it up. For instance, SMEAT was used in an episode of Millennium, as well as some other movies. Take a close look at soda cans and beer cans in your favorite television shows. At first glance the labels look downright familiar, but if you focus on them for a second, suddenly you get the full picture. In the interim, if you are interested in seeing more, take a surf on over to this web address:

    The Earl Hays Press

    These are the folks who design and print the “look alike” props you see in movies. They go all out with the details too, because you never know when a closeup might be in order.Fools Guide To Exorcism movie prop book cover

    Oh, and while you are there make sure you check out the Booze labels. Trust me, you’ll get a laugh.  I mean, it’s not every day you see a bottle of “Snotliknaya” Vodka or “Bar Fly Label” Gin.

    Yeah, that’s the real kicker about this stuff. The entire time it is evoking a brand recognition in our subconscious mind, it is also packing tongue in cheek details that are good for a snicker or two…

    All I can say is the folks who design these props must have a ball.

    More to come…

    Murv

  • Well, If It Was Up To Me…

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    One of the questions I get on a regular basis – I guess that would make it a FAQ – is, “If the Rowan Gant Investigations were ever made into movies, who would you pick to play the lead roles?”

    Well, the reality is, IF the RGI series ever ended up in HollerWood, I can almost guarantee you that I won’t have the least bit of say about who is cast. In fact, I seriously doubt I’ll have any say whatsoever in anything, because once they negotiate a price and pay me for the rights to base a movie on one of my books, they can pretty much do whatever they hell they want.  That’s how it works.Movie Film Reel

    And, ya’know, if there are enough zeros behind that dollar sign, I won’t have a problem with that. Maybe some of you would consider that “selling out”, but hey, I have a family to support, and even though I’m a fiction author I am also a realist. I would certainly hope that they would stick to the story and ideals, but as I said, for the right price, I would be happy to look the other way. It would be, after all, only a movie.

    But, I digress, as usual…

    The actual reason behind this blog is that I was recently contacted by the folks over at storycasting.com. Their site is sort of like a “fantasy football/baseball” thing, only instead of being sports based, it is Fantasy Movie Casting for literature – i.e. readers/fans are able to log in and cast an imaginary movie based on books in classic and popular literature, using a database of actors. They will even add actors if you have one in mind that isn’t already in the DB.

    Movie Clap BoardSo, to make a long story even longer, they contacted me because they had listed the RGI series in their database, which means folks are now able to “virtually cast” a pretend movie. I thought this was kind of cool, so I sent a note out about it on Twitterfeel free to follow me, btw. Just not too closely, as I make frequent stops –   and, of course, folks began asking about the actors I would pick.

    Well, just for grins, I made note that if I were to cast the stories as really friggin’ bizarre dark comedies I would probably go this route:

    Rowan = Paul Reubens or Jack Black
    Felicity = Kathy Griffin
    Ben = Brad Garrett
    Constance = Kathleen Madigan

    I’m not exactly sure how well that went over, to be honest. Of course, it was just a joke… Hopefully everyone took at that way. I know one of my fans did for sure, because she came back with the suggestion of Ron Jeremy.

    Methinks she was casting a different type of movie based on the books if you get my drift…

    At any rate, the folks over at Storycasting.com have set up an “author” account for me so that I can, as they say, create an “authoritative” cast list. (I thought that was kind of a funny play on words, myself… Of course, as we know I’m fairly easily amused which is why E K doesn’t bother hiring someone to watch me while she’s at work…)

    I’ve already started playing around with the “authoritative” cast.  It could change, you never know. I have some research to do and bribes to take. (Grin) But, y’all should feel free to start generating your own cast lists right away. I’ll be interested to see if any of them match up.

    More to come…

    Murv