BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I have a stalker…

Actually, that’s nothing new. I’ve had a couple of them over the years. Maybe even more than a couple. After all, a really good stalker goes unnoticed, right up until they kidnap you and make you write books about characters you’ve already killed off. Of course, is there really any such thing as a “good stalker”? Perhaps there is a person who “stalks well,” but a “good stalker”? I just don’t know…

Still… There are “Murv’s Stalkers”. They are a fan club of sorts, so I guess they could be classed as “good stalkers”. Although, there are a couple of them that worry me. Especially that kid named after that defunct Lunch Meat company. There’s something seriously not right about him, I’m here to tell you. If you ever see something in the news about me being missing, I’d suggest you stop eating cold cuts and go look for him. Or, if they say I was killed by a pie. If the pie was key lime, he’s definitely the perp…

But, I digress…

I was actually talking about a different stalker. This one is sort of random and sort of specific at the same time. I know, really weird, eh?

So, the think is, he – or she… I’m not exactly certain about the gender – also seems to have enlisted the aid of others, which is even creepier.

I first became aware of this stalker a few months back when – we’ll call he/she/it “widget” – suddenly disappeared. I know, kind of an odd time to notice a stalker. Allow me to explain…

You see, I logged in to my Facebook profile and suddenly “widget” was gone. I knew this because my friend count had decremented by one. At first, I assumed it was simply because someone decided I wasn’t all that funny and had given me the boot. That happens every now and then. Strange in and of itself, but hey, so am I. Anywho, later that day “widget” re-appeared. That is to say, my friend count INCREMENTED by one, all by itself. No new “friendings”… Just poof, up goes the number…

In recent weeks this has become a daily occurrence. Not only daily, but sometimes hourly. And, it’s not just “widget” who does the disappearing act. Sometimes 5 of them will go away, then mysteriously return. Or, sometimes, it’s 3… Or 2… But, without fail “widget” will pop in and out at least 1 time per day.

I have to wonder if this might be “widget’s” way of trying to get my attention. After all, Facebook is a pretty busy place, and as we know, I’m very easily distracted…

Oh look! A CHICKEN!!!

Ummm… Now… Where was I? Oh yeah, “widget”…

Some day I figure I’ll find out who “widget” really is. I mean, virtual stalker or not, someone has to be behind it.

Just for the record, my money is on that Lunch Meat Kid.

More to come…

Murv

Times, they are a changin’…

Once upon a time I would pack my suitcase, brave the scrutiny of the power drunk rent-a-cops hired by the TSA, and then jet all over the country (coach, of course) to do book signings, chats, and seminars.

While I still do that to an extent, a combination of emerging technologies and bottoming out economies has made a radical change to how authors handle appearances. I am talking, of course, about virtual touring…

So, in a blind embrace of technology… Well… Not exactly blind… I do try to keep one eye open so I can try to catch E K sneaking up on me (not that it works, mind you)… Anyway, the point here is, I Skype™ (among other things, but we won’t go there right now…)

So, if you:

• Run a book club

• Schedule library chats

• Are looking for a guest blogger

• Want to schedule a chat for a classroom full of creative writers

• Need a motor-mouthed guest for a podcast

• Are looking for any other Virtual Author Appearance sort of thing

I’m available… In other words, just consider me a modern day Paladin – “Have WebCam and Headset, Will Chat…”

Drop me a line and we’ll Skype™. (Just don’t tell E K)…

More to come…

Murv