BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Okay, so I have this piece of rental property. I could go into this long diatribe about the problems I am having with said property, etc, but that is a whole ‘nother story, and one that doesn’t truly bear exploring in a public arena. Suffice it to say, the property is going to be vacant for a while due to a need for rehabbing that shouldn’t have been needed in the first place… But, I don’t want to digress.

Anyhow, since the property will be semi-vacant – there will still be contractors in and out of it all the time, just no one actually living there for a bit – I went ahead and had a security system installed. Mainly, this is to protect the property against vandalism, but it will also be something that will reduce insurance costs for both future rental tennants and me. So, when you consider the fact that I got a great deal on the system since I was already having the one in my own home upgraded to begin with, and it is going to save me money in the long run, it becomes a win-win situation.

But, on with the “Bad Murv” portion of the tale.

Yesterday, the installer was on-site to put in the system. Of course, I had to be there to let him in, tell him where I wanted motion sensors placed, sign off on the job, etc. So, rather than let him in then run off, I hung out since the installation wasn’t going to be an all day process. Anyhow, while the young man was working he was chatting with me and asked what I do for a living. Well, of course, I told him I write books.

He asked the typical followup question, which was, “What kind of books?”

I gave my standard reply, “Mystery suspense novels about serial killers and that sort of thing.”

Then he asked me if , “I liked it.”

Well, this is where “Bad Murv” happens. Obviously he was referring to the occupation of being an author, but since I had mentioned serial killers I couldn’t pass it up…

Without missing a beat I replied, “Yeah, it’s okay. I used to like it more, but the last time I killed someone I almost got caught.”

The poor guy froze, the power drill in his hand stopped, and he just stared at me wide-eyed as the color in his face seemed to be fading right before my eyes.

After a short pause I laughed, told him I was just kidding, and that I only write about serial killers, I’m not actually one myself. Fortunately, he caught on to the joke and all was good.

Of course, I couldn’t stop there… When I had to get on the phone to answer the verification questions with the monitoring service the young lady told me that it could take up to 4 hours before the monitoring on the new installation was live. After that she asked me if I had any questions.

Being the ka-ka disturber I am, I replied, “Yes, if someone breaks in and wants to kill me within the next four hours is it okay if I just go ahead and kill them back?”

Fortunately, she got the joke right away. The poor girl laughed so hard I thought she was going to pass out.

More to come…

Murv

What with this being Memorial Day and all, I thought I would blog on a subject over which I have been ruminating for a few weeks now.

Every year, both my publicist and I receive numerous requests for donations from events nationwide. A huge number of these events are Pagan Pride Day celebrations, some are gatherings with less global ties, some are “friends of library X” type of things, and still others are speculative fiction type conventions. Now, the donations solicited are customarily autographed copies of my books, for the express purpose of them being placed in raffles or to be used as door prizes. Usually this is done to A) Give attendees a shot at winning something nice and/or B) To raise money (in the case of raffles) to help finance the event.

Monthly, my publicist and I sort through these requests and cull out the obvious scams (yes, there are plenty of those), the places I have already sent donations more than once (sorry, but I have to be fair to everyone), and those who flat out demand a donation. Yes, believe it or not some of these people don’t politely ask for a donation, they actually send emails or letters which state things like “since we as a community support you by buying your books you owe it to us to donate to XYZ event” (that is paraphrased a bit, and actually even toned down, but you get the idea.) And, yes, I will readily admit that I take a dim view of this tactic, meaning, if you demand a donation from me I would suggest you not wait by the mailbox because you are just going to be disappointed.

Anyway, once we have the list pared down, we select events to which we will send a stack of autographed books. Unfortunately, yes, there has to be a selection process because as I have noted before, just because I wrote the books doesn’t mean I get unlimited free copies or something of that sort. I have to purchase the books I send out as donations, and contrary to popular belief I’m not made of money.

So, yearly I end up sending out several hundred dollars worth of books and spend a ton on postage/shipping to get them where they are going. I’m not complaining about that, I’m happy to do it. I am merely stating facts so that I can put this in perspective. Anyway, on with the story… Out of the 50 or so events to which I donate books each year, if five of them even bother to acknowledge receving the books, I am doing good. If one or two of them actually say “thank you,” then we are talking about a banner year.

No. I am NOT kidding about the above statistics.

Which brings me to Memorial Day. Over the past few years I have also donated boxes of books to groups who were ostensibly shipping items to deployed pagan soldiers. These groups requested books, etc, and I happily obliged. While I am wholly against the war, I am all about our troops, and will do whatever I can to support them. Anyway, the above “support groups” fell right into the same category as all the other events. Not a peep. Not even an acknowledgement of receipt.

So…After having met with a huge number of soldiers at Fort Hood earlier this year while at the Ostara Fest in Texas, I obtained the APO’s for two different Open Circle groups in Iraq. When I arrived home I boxed up books, along with a note, and shipped them DIRECTLY to these APO’s instead of through the support groups.

Guess what happened…

I received thank you’s. Not only did I receive thank you’s, but BOTH of these groups took the time to pass a card around and have EVERYONE sign it before mailing it to me. This is something that could have easily been done by email, but no, they took the time to individually sign and snail mail, from Iraq, thank you cards for the donated books.

So, I have to wonder about this…

On the one hand we have the groups here at home who sit on their asses, safe and secure, make demands of people they don’t even know, and then don’t even bother to drop a quick email thank you to that person who has sent a donation.

Then, on the other, we have the men and women who have been sent across the ocean, living in a big nasty sandbox, far away from their families, getting shot at and risking their lives on a daily basis, who make it a point to take the time to send a personal, signed, thank you card expressing their appreciation.

Can you guess which of the two made a positive impression on me?

Happy Memorial Day – especially to those of you in uniform who earned it.

More to come…

Murv