BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I’ve noticed something.

Yeah, I know, no biggie since I’m noticing stuff and telling you about it all the time, right? Well, I’m still going to tell you anyway.

So, this thing I’ve noticed is a Twitter phenomenon. Not the phenomenon of Twitter itself, or even the phenomenon of celebs on Twitter having their personal assistants post tweets for them. Rest assured, all of my tweets are 100% me. Thought up by me, typed in by me, and like the President, I even hit the enter button when I am done typing. Hell, I even use Tweetdeck to multitask in the fast paced Twitter-world.

Of course, I suppose none of the above really matters since I’m not a celeb. Oh well… Just thought you should know.

So, anyway, back to this phenomenon I’ve noticed. I’ve named it – as you can see from the title of this blog entry – “The Half Tweet Effect.”

THTE, as I like to call it, is the electronic status update equivalent of walking into the middle of a conversation at a party. Or, on a bus. Or, in a store… It doesn’t really matter where, to be honest. It’s really just the whole “middle of the conversation” thing that’s important.

You see, be it Tweetdeck, your Twitter page, or some other interface you may be using, it is almost impossible to avoid THTE. You log in and there it is, slapping you in the face.

@MuNkEnSpAnK – …so, I left the battery cables, drank the Alka-Seltzer, and then went to buy a hot dog.

or

@flbrtyjibt – …and then turn left.

or

@bud_girl – …and so I bought it! Of course, I had to have shoes too so I went…

I have no idea what joke preceded that punch line, I have no idea from whence I am to turn left, and I don’t know what bud_girl bought – although I can probably imagine a few things. Of course, what I imagine is probably way better than the reality. But, I digress.

The thing is, even though you click, follow, and otherwise search around, you can’t find the first half tweets that came before – or the tweets that begat these responses. They’ve disappeared. They’re gone. You are in the land of Half Tweet Hell. What’s worse, sometimes the half tweet is really a third tweet, or quarter tweet. So, not only are you missing the beginning, but you are missing the ending too. It’s just a lonely, nonsensical comment hanging out there in the ether with no beginning or end, just a middle…

@mrsellars – And, with that I think maybe I’ll just…

More to come…

Murv

I have a stalker…

Actually, that’s nothing new. I’ve had a couple of them over the years. Maybe even more than a couple. After all, a really good stalker goes unnoticed, right up until they kidnap you and make you write books about characters you’ve already killed off. Of course, is there really any such thing as a “good stalker”? Perhaps there is a person who “stalks well,” but a “good stalker”? I just don’t know…

Still… There are “Murv’s Stalkers”. They are a fan club of sorts, so I guess they could be classed as “good stalkers”. Although, there are a couple of them that worry me. Especially that kid named after that defunct Lunch Meat company. There’s something seriously not right about him, I’m here to tell you. If you ever see something in the news about me being missing, I’d suggest you stop eating cold cuts and go look for him. Or, if they say I was killed by a pie. If the pie was key lime, he’s definitely the perp…

But, I digress…

I was actually talking about a different stalker. This one is sort of random and sort of specific at the same time. I know, really weird, eh?

So, the think is, he – or she… I’m not exactly certain about the gender – also seems to have enlisted the aid of others, which is even creepier.

I first became aware of this stalker a few months back when – we’ll call he/she/it “widget” – suddenly disappeared. I know, kind of an odd time to notice a stalker. Allow me to explain…

You see, I logged in to my Facebook profile and suddenly “widget” was gone. I knew this because my friend count had decremented by one. At first, I assumed it was simply because someone decided I wasn’t all that funny and had given me the boot. That happens every now and then. Strange in and of itself, but hey, so am I. Anywho, later that day “widget” re-appeared. That is to say, my friend count INCREMENTED by one, all by itself. No new “friendings”… Just poof, up goes the number…

In recent weeks this has become a daily occurrence. Not only daily, but sometimes hourly. And, it’s not just “widget” who does the disappearing act. Sometimes 5 of them will go away, then mysteriously return. Or, sometimes, it’s 3… Or 2… But, without fail “widget” will pop in and out at least 1 time per day.

I have to wonder if this might be “widget’s” way of trying to get my attention. After all, Facebook is a pretty busy place, and as we know, I’m very easily distracted…

Oh look! A CHICKEN!!!

Ummm… Now… Where was I? Oh yeah, “widget”…

Some day I figure I’ll find out who “widget” really is. I mean, virtual stalker or not, someone has to be behind it.

Just for the record, my money is on that Lunch Meat Kid.

More to come…

Murv