" /> BRAINPAN LEAKAGE » Writing
  • FAQ Version Elebenty Bazillion…

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    It has been quite a while since I’ve done a Frequently Asked Questions blog, so I though maybe it might be time for one, especially when you consider that I’ve had a few questions being asked frequently as of late…

    Believe it or not, as silly as some of the questions may seem, they have actually been asked by someone other than the voices inside my head. And, you will notice that some of these questions have appeared in past FAQ blogs. Why are they here now? Because people are still asking them. Frequently. As in, a lot.

    Srsly.

    So, without further mucking about, it’s time for…

    ASK MERP!

    1. I just read (or recently read, or at some point read) Merrie Axemas: A Killer Holiday Tale, and loved it (hated it, think you suck, WTF, Christmas is over you putz). Will you be continuing the story at all?

    The short answer is: Yes. The long answer is: Yes. (That is to say, look for the full-length novel, In The Bleak Midwinter, coming November 2011.)

    2. Why haven’t I ever heard of you before?

    Hmm… Uhh… Well… Umm, best guess? I have no friggin’ clue. But don’t worry, I haven’t heard of you either, so we’re all good.

    3. Do you write every day?

    Yes. While I don’t necessarily work on a novel project on the weekends, I write something every single day, whether it’s a blog entry, notes, a bit of poetry, or a random journal entry.

    4. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

    Srsly? Okay, you asked for it – A hardwood. Take that however you want.

    5. I read in an interview where you said that you give your wife a 30 minute back rub every morning. Is that true?

    No. It used to be, but she changed the setting on the alarm clock while I was out of town, so now it’s a 45 minute back rub. Since I have more traveling ahead of me, I suspect by the end of the summer she will have adjusted the alarm clock enough that it will be a two-hour back rub by sometime around mid-August this year.

    6. Will you ever be growing your ponytail back?

    I’ve grown accustomed to being able to escape the clutches of the evil redhead – at least part of the time – now that she doesn’t have the built-in leash to grab onto. So, I’d have to say growing it back isn’t very high on my priority list.

    7. When are you going to write the Rowan Gant cookbook you talked about?

    Me and my big mouth. I really have no clue. Srsly. I don’t. I know I babbled about it once upon a time, and apparently it resonated with some of you. I haven’t ruled it out, but it’s not residing on the top of the projects pile either. However, when I do, I’ll be sure to shout it from the rooftops.

    8. When are you coming to [insert town, city, state, country here]?

    When someone books me to do a gig there, most likely. Book tours aren’t as common as they once were, due to the economy, the changes in the publishing industry, and the surge of social media. However, if someone books me for a gig, I’m there. To do that, contact my publicist: Wendy at promo_dept@willowtreepress.com

    9. When is there going to be a Rowan Gant Investigations movie?

    When someone buys the rights and makes one. That’s about all I can say. At this juncture, nobody has optioned any of the books in the series, so it’s doubtful you will see one in the near future. The same goes for TV.

    10. I read somewhere that you get up at 4:30 in the morning every day. Is that true, and why?

    I wake up at around 4:30 AM, give or take a few minutes. My feet don’t generally hit the floor until 5 or 5:30. As to why, I have a very high maintenance wife. Her breakfast doesn’t fix itself.

    But seriously, on the “why,” it’s my internal clock. I spent a lot of time on a farm growing up, and even when I was in the city, my family was of the early rising type. It’s kinda baked on and I haven’t been able to scrub it off, no matter how hard I try.

    That’s it for this edition of ASK MERP! Keep those cards and letters coming. The sponsors won’t pay up unless I can prove you’re watching…

    More to come…

    Murv

  • I Have Met The Enemy…

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    …And it is US.

    No, not the United States, although I do find some of the folks I’ve run into around the country to be a little suspect. And not the magazine either… Well… I haven’t read it, so maybe, I dunno.

    But anyway, in this particular case I am talking about the letters U and S. Yep, a vowel and a consonant, go figure. Now, unless I missed my guess I’m sure you are wondering just exactly how the letters U and S could be the enemy. Well, they aren’t really, but it gave me catchy title.

    Okay, okay… Calm down… There REALLY is a point to the U and S thing.

    You see, I recently discovered that I am listed under the heading of “Famous Alumni” on the website for the district where I attended high school. I’m still a bit perplexed as to how this happened, or why the hell I am on said list, but hey, all good. Who am I to say… Well… It is ME we’re talking about here, so I guess I should have some say. So… Maybe I should be on the list of INfamous alumni… But, all this doesn’t really clear up the U and S thing, now does it?

    So here’s the deal… Upon discovering this fact, quite by accident actually, I tweeted about it:

    Just discovered that I am listed on my former shool’s district website as a “Famous Alumni”… http://ping.fm/m02wm O_o

    Shortly after doing so I noticed an egregious error, but it was too late. Folks had already begun to comment upon the update on my FB page, and there wasn’t much I could do other than comment myself, pointing out that I had made an error and needed counseling. Especially since I was supposedly among the famous graduates all because I write books…

    In case you aren’t noticing the error, it is the word alumni. I used it improperly. You see, alumnI is the plural version. The singular (masculine) version being alumnUS.

    Srsly.

    I know… Kind of counter intuitive, don’tcha think? I mean what with US being plural and I being singular you would… Well… Who am I to argue with the OED?

    Oh… And the singular feminine? AlumnA.

    Not even gonna go there… Nope… Not gonna do it.

    More to come…

    Murv

    PS. Over on Facebook we’ve been commenting back and forth about the fact that in the original tweet school is spelled “shool” – I probably should have addressed that as well, as it would have actually made this post funnier. But, I’m ill right now so you have to give me a break. 😉

    Suffice it to say, on Twitter, nobody mentioned the “shool” typo, but I sure did hear about the whole “alumni vs alumnus” issue. 😉