" /> BRAINPAN LEAKAGE » Humor
  • On Her Majesty’s Secret Alphabet…

      0 comments

    Okay, so I’m in the middle of writing and stuff, therefor this is just one of those quick “Did’ja ever notice” kind of blogs.

    I won’t go into a long explanation of things because the info is readily available on the net, suffice it to say, anyone who has ever seen a Bond flick knows who “Q” is.

    Here’s the thing – one of the delightful moments in most of the films (I say most because “Q” actually does NOT appear in ALL of them) is the bantering back and forth between Bond and “Q” as a new mess of insane gadgets are introduced. Now, I won’t even go into the odd paradox created by “Q” being upset about Bond destroying said gadgets, which by default is going to happen if he bothers to use them because most are designed to blow up at some point.

    No, my question is this – How did “Q” become so prescient? I mean, think about it – everything he gives the double nought spy for that particular movie is something that comes in REAL handy like. It’s as if the “man who shall be known as a consonant” has some prior knowledge that “Double Nought Sevum” will be tied up over a shark tank in exactly X position, thereby requiring a watch that will double as a miniature buzz saw.

    You know… I’m thinking maybe it would be a good idea for the Double Nought Spy folks to do a bit of internal investigation. From where I sit, it sure looks like some of their alphabet has defected to a different soup.

    More to come…

    Murv

  • They’re Creepy And They’re Kooky…

      0 comments

    I have to be honest. The picture you see at left has absolutely nothing to do with this blog entry… Well, kinda nothing.

    You see, it wasn’t even included with the original posting of this particular entry. However, in the process of moving things from Myspace to the new home of Brainpan Leakage, I was also doing a bit of straightening up around the hard drive… Early spring cleaning, so to speak… Well, as luck would have it, I ran across this picture of EK and me from a costume party we held on our 8th anniversary (remember, we got married on Halloween)…  8th anniversary…spiders…8 legs… yeah, we were all about themes back then… I’ll have to see about digging out some of our other costume party photos.  But, there I go digressing…

    Anyway, so given the title of this blog entry, as well as the Addams family references, EK looking all dangerous & sexy in her “Black Widow” outfit, and me as her webbed over prey, just seemed to fit and I decided maybe I should post it here…

    Even if it doesn’t exactly fit, well, it’s kind of a cute picture.

    But, on with the original blog…

    So I’m on a few of these other social networking sites. Yeah, I know, there are a ton of them out there, and I cannot possibly be on all of them or I would never get any writing done. But in the interest of “viral marketing” I do hang out on a couple of the others besides Myspace. Hey, it’s all about getting name recognition. People see me, see my name, then the next time they see it the little bulb lights up to trigger the “hey, I’ve heard of that guy before”… Then, maybe they eventually get around to buying a book or two. Then, I get to keep writing books. (Kind of a vicious circle, eh?)

    Yeah, I know. Get to the point, Gomez…

    Anyway, I’m sure you are wondering “why the Addams family lyrics for a title of this blog?” Well, I’ll tell you. On one of those other social networking sites, someone posted a comment to my page that went a little something like this:

    “…You two must be a HOOT at Parent-Teacher’s day! LOL! (WHY did the image of Gomez and Morticia Addams meeting Mr. Rodgers just pop into my head? “its a lovely day in the embalming room, a lovely day in the freezer…oh, will you be my, won’t you be, my cadaver?” LOL!)…”

    Obviously that isn’t the entire comment, but basically it came on the heels of some banter about Evil Kat, and the question that due to the genre of my writing whether or not she is afraid to go to sleep with me around. To that I simply replied that she is far more evil than I could possibly be.

    At any rate, the Addams family reference as well as the P/T conference thing begged an answer (you know me, just can’t shut up for anything). So, I answered. My  reply seemed to tickle quite a few folks, so I thought maybe I’d repeat it here.

    Yes… Parent – Teacher Conferences are VERY interesting… Primarily on the first orientation conference, after Wednesday (well, you started it with the Addams family stuff – besides, I don’t publish the munchkins name) tells everyone in her class that “Daddy writes books” …  So, the first conference goes something like the following (note: this is a fairly accurate recounting of almost every initial P/T conference we have attended)–

    Teacher: Mister Sellars, nice to meet you. Wednesday just goes on and on about how you are an author.

    Murv: Yeah, she gets a bit excited about things at times.

    Teacher: So, what are your books about?

    Murv: They’re paranormal suspense novels about a Witch who helps the Saint Louis Major Case Squad track down and apprehend serial killers.

    Teacher: [horrified silence]

    Murv: [Grin]

    Teacher: So…ummm…uhhh…they aren’t children’s books then?

    Murv: No. Not so much. I told Wednesday she’s not allowed to read them until she’s at least 35. Oh, and by the way, whenever I’m not out of town on tour I’m available to help out as a room parent for field trips and such. Just give me a call.

    Teacher: [rushing to change the subject] Ummm, uhhh. okay…uhhh…So! Wendesday’s Mom! I understand YOU fix computers!

    So, there you have it… That really and truly is pretty much how our initial meetings with the munchkin’s teachers go. Fortunately, after that things seem to settle down. Especially after I send postcards to the class when I am gallivanting around the country on tour. In fact, they even end up deciding I’m pretty okay.

    Yeah, I’ve even been determined to be okay enough that I’ve actually done the room parent thing on field trips. (LOL)

    More to come…

    Murv