BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

It’s true. I’m short. Even shorter when my wife wears heels, but that’s a different story…

I’m in the running for a “Shorty Award” – Sort of a big deal, most interesting folks on twitter type of thing. Not just some silly graphic for your blog, either. This is an actual, engraved, lucite statue sort of thing with the fail whale on it and everything. Presented in New York of all places. I actually hate New York. Well, maybe hate is too strong a word. I don’t like DRIVING in New York. I have stories. They aren’t good. But that’s beside the point.

Thing is, I’m in the running (for the moment) in the Author category. I know I can’t win, because Neil Gaiman is in the running too and he has 1.5 million followers. Well… 1.49999 million followers, because I’m sure as hell not voting for him. Plus, Richard Castle, an author who doesn’t really exist is on there too. However, I really think I should be ahead of the “Horny Housewife” and J. K. “More Money Than God” Rowling.

I mean, come on… I’m interesting, right?

So, if you have an active twitter account, I’d appreciated it if you’d vote for me. I haven’t had an opportunity to wear a tux in a while and I look damn good in one. Just ask my wife…

Follow the link below, and don’t forget to add a “reason” after the “because…” or your vote won’t count.

Thank you. I mean that. Seriously. Why would I lie?

More to come…

(Really. You haven’t heard the end of this…)

Murv

This blog post originally ran in July 2007. Since Jasper AKA Meatlump left for the great yarn basket in the sky this past Monday, after 19 years of hacking up furballs and purring his way through life with us, I thought it only fitting to re-run this bit about him.

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Cat Hemorrhoids…

No, not that pain in the a** you get from having too many cats. Although, having too many cats is a definite pain in the a**.

As many of you know, my wife and I have rescued cats for years. They usually come to us as abandoned, abused, special needs, what have you. We take them in and try to find homes for them. We aren’t as active in this as we once were, especially now that I travel so much. However, over the years we have ended up with some of the special needs felines living with us, simply because they weren’t easy to place.

Now, this is not to say that we didn’t get attached to them. We did. But, the reality is, we have a whole raft of cats who need special care. For instance, one is highly allergic to everything. She manifests her allergies in an odd way, however. Most cats get a skin irritation or some such. But not this one. She ends up with chronic sinusitis and sneezes constantly.

Two others are insulin dependent diabetics. And, regular old humulin, which is what they used to take, has been discontinued. Sooooo, instead of 30 bucks a month for two vials of insulin, we now spend about 200 bucks per month for the vet insulin. This does NOT include the cost of syringes.

There are others, but Jasper (aka MeatLump) is the subject of this blog. You see, MeatLump has bowel issues. As in chronic constipation. Lovely, I know. Ever tried giving a cat an enema? Not a pleasant task, believe me. Anyhow, because of this, MeatLump got himself a case of the ‘roids. Now, I can sympathize. Having been there I know it ain’t fun. But, you can’t really get one of those donuts for cats to sit on.

Well, MeatLump got out of the house. Escaped. Went over the wall. Beat feet. Zipped out. Generally, got away from his horrible captors. Us. At any rate, it has been hot in STL, and he went and hid. The ‘roids got worse. A gland ruptured. It remained hot. He remained hidden. Flies did their thing. Soooo, when we finally caught up with him it was not good.

He spent a bit of time at the vet, and is doing well now. He will heal up just fine. However, because of the rupture, the ensuing larvae, etc, much shaving occured. While I sympathize with the little bastard, I can’t help but laugh. I think the picture below will show why (Trust me, not gross. Just funny.)

So, there you have MeatLump. Roid kitty sans fur.

More to come…

Murv