BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

One of the questions I get on a regular basis – I guess that would make it a FAQ – is, “If the Rowan Gant Investigations were ever made into movies, who would you pick to play the lead roles?”

Well, the reality is, IF the RGI series ever ended up in HollerWood, I can almost guarantee you that I won’t have the least bit of say about who is cast. In fact, I seriously doubt I’ll have any say whatsoever in anything, because once they negotiate a price and pay me for the rights to base a movie on one of my books, they can pretty much do whatever they hell they want.  That’s how it works.

And, ya’know, if there are enough zeros behind that dollar sign, I won’t have a problem with that. Maybe some of you would consider that “selling out”, but hey, I have a family to support, and even though I’m a fiction author I am also a realist. I would certainly hope that they would stick to the story and ideals, but as I said, for the right price, I would be happy to look the other way. It would be, after all, only a movie.

But, I digress, as usual…

The actual reason behind this blog is that I was recently contacted by the folks over at storycasting.com. Their site is sort of like a “fantasy football/baseball” thing, only instead of being sports based, it is Fantasy Movie Casting for literature – i.e. readers/fans are able to log in and cast an imaginary movie based on books in classic and popular literature, using a database of actors. They will even add actors if you have one in mind that isn’t already in the DB.

So, to make a long story even longer, they contacted me because they had listed the RGI series in their database, which means folks are now able to “virtually cast” a pretend movie. I thought this was kind of cool, so I sent a note out about it on Twitter – feel free to follow me, btw. Just not too closely, as I make frequent stops –   and, of course, folks began asking about the actors I would pick.

Well, just for grins, I made note that if I were to cast the stories as really friggin’ bizarre dark comedies I would probably go this route:

Rowan = Paul Reubens or Jack Black
Felicity = Kathy Griffin
Ben = Brad Garrett
Constance = Kathleen Madigan

I’m not exactly sure how well that went over, to be honest. Of course, it was just a joke… Hopefully everyone took at that way. I know one of my fans did for sure, because she came back with the suggestion of Ron Jeremy.

Methinks she was casting a different type of movie based on the books if you get my drift…

At any rate, the folks over at Storycasting.com have set up an “author” account for me so that I can, as they say, create an “authoritative” cast list. (I thought that was kind of a funny play on words, myself… Of course, as we know I’m fairly easily amused which is why E K doesn’t bother hiring someone to watch me while she’s at work…)

I’ve already started playing around with the “authoritative” cast.  It could change, you never know. I have some research to do and bribes to take. (Grin) But, y’all should feel free to start generating your own cast lists right away. I’ll be interested to see if any of them match up.

More to come…

Murv

I’ll apologize up front – this isn’t one of my funny ha-ha blogs. But, by the same token it is a missive some of y’all have been screaming for me to post ever since this morning, so here goes…

Not long ago I wrote a blog about an impending change in my style. My hairstyle, to be more specific. I told everyone that I was going to be losing the ponytail. Getting myself a respectable haircut.

Some of you posted comments. Some of you didn’t. Some of you obviously read the blog, some of you obviously didn’t – we’ll be getting to how I know that in just a bit. All I can say though is, tsk tsk tsk to those of you who blew it off and didn’t read that entry. (Grin)

One of you – yes, you “John Of The Corona And Chocolate Milk Fame” – even commented about waiting to see if I was really going to go through with it. Dude…I mean, that right there was practically a “double dog dare” in its own right. But then, I highly suspect you already knew that. (LOL!)

Anyway, I had set the date for today, so this morning I posted a tweet and status update on all my social networking pages to let everyone know the time had arrived. Imagine my surprise when the next thing I knew people were crawling out of the woodwork screaming, “What? No! You can’t! Why haven’t I heard about this? Say it ain’t so! What brought this on? Etc…”

I have to say, it was interesting to watch. Some of you, very dear friends in fact, seemed to go immediately into a state of mourning. Wailing, black veils, and the whole nine yards. I could actually smell the matches and hear the Bic’s as candles were lit all across the country. It was, to say the least, very profound.

In fact, it was just plain touching. It gave me pause. I sat back and ruminated about whether or not I should actually go through with this.

Then I got into the car and went down to SuperCuts. Yeah… I still had myself a full blown LOPITOFFAME…

We arrived at the SuperCuts on St. Charles Rock Road, late morning. We selected this particular hair-cuttery due to the fact that it wasn’t terribly busy, and it was also on the way to Target – for the French readers that would be, Tarr-jaey.

Fortunately, I was able to get into a chair right away, and when my stylist asked what I was after by way of a cut, I told her that after 20 years it was time for the ponytail to go.

Her jaw dropped. After a moment she said, “And I get to do it?”

I replied, “Yeah.”

Her face spread into a grin and she said something akin to “Oh Goodie!”

Apparently ponytails are kind of out of style or some such. That’s what  the Evil Redhead told me, anyway. Judging from the stylist’s reaction, I have to assume maybe that is true, because she was all about getting rid of it. At any rate I figured that since I had dropped the first shoe, I should just keep making noise and drop the other.

“Do you mind if my wife takes pictures,” I asked. “Some of my fans are wanting to see this.”

Of course, the use of the word fans lead us right into the whole, “What kind of fans, what do you do?” Q&A session. When she found out I was an author, and what I wrote, she started getting excited all over again. It seems she figured she just might have a famous person in her chair. Well, I didn’t correct her on that point. I figured my ears might be safer if she really and truly believed I was actually important or something.

As it turned out, all of the ladies in the salon were having a ball with this. In fact, the gal working the chair next to mine was picking back and forth with my stylist in a manner that pretty much reminded me of when Morrison and I joke around on tour.

Once the official “ponytailectomy” itself was done, she started in trying to do something with the fine mop that is my hair. After parting it, spraying it with water, then combing it out, she leaned down and told me, “I promise you won’t look like Moe when I’m finished.”

E K was already standing off to the side, snapping pictures and giggling uncontrollably. Obviously she was having fun, because as you well know, the Evil Redhead never giggles. She might cackle with evil glee, but giggle? Nope, just not her thing.

At one point during the styling, when we found out my lopped off tail wasn’t suitable for use by Locks of Love, my stylist asked the Evil Redhead if she wanted it.

Of course, E Kay turned to me and said, “I wonder if we can get anything for it?” then burst into more uncontrollable giggling.

I’ll be honest. For a half-second I actually considered auctioning it off for charity, but then I came to my senses. I really didn’t want my hair falling into the wrong hands if you know what I mean. (wink wink, nudge nudge, Witch’s secret handshake and all that…)

At this stage of the game, my stylist joked that maybe she should put some of the trimmings from the floor on Ebay. At least, I’m pretty sure she was joking… I guess I should go looking for M. R. Sellars hair on the web because I might need to bid on it or something.

After 15 or so minutes, the job was done. I paid the bill, gave my stylist a nice tip, then hung around for a few minutes talking with the ladies in the salon about my books. When we eventually left, I had the distinct impression that one or two of them might be visiting a bookstore in search of the RGI novels.

So, there you have it. The hair is gone and I’m sporting a new style. Now I just have to get rid of some of this extra tonnage I’m carrying around.

At this point it feels kinda weird. My neck isn’t warm anymore, my head seems lighter, and I get a bit of a shock each time I reach back to straighten the tail that is no longer there – a mannerism I’ve had for 20 years now. I have a feeling that one will be hard to break.

Other than that, the kid doesn’t seem too traumatized, and E K actually likes it. Of course, she was in charge of the style selection and had a confab with the stylist before the Lopitoffame Procedure began.

She did make one admission however – apparently she misses having a “handle”… I’ll let y’all take there where you will, suffice it to say, it’s material for a blog of a different color…

More to come…

Murv

NOTE: Click photos to enlarge…