BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I have a stalker…

Actually, that’s nothing new. I’ve had a couple of them over the years. Maybe even more than a couple. After all, a really good stalker goes unnoticed, right up until they kidnap you and make you write books about characters you’ve already killed off. Of course, is there really any such thing as a “good stalker”? Perhaps there is a person who “stalks well,” but a “good stalker”? I just don’t know…

Still… There are “Murv’s Stalkers”. They are a fan club of sorts, so I guess they could be classed as “good stalkers”. Although, there are a couple of them that worry me. Especially that kid named after that defunct Lunch Meat company. There’s something seriously not right about him, I’m here to tell you. If you ever see something in the news about me being missing, I’d suggest you stop eating cold cuts and go look for him. Or, if they say I was killed by a pie. If the pie was key lime, he’s definitely the perp…

But, I digress…

I was actually talking about a different stalker. This one is sort of random and sort of specific at the same time. I know, really weird, eh?

So, the think is, he – or she… I’m not exactly certain about the gender – also seems to have enlisted the aid of others, which is even creepier.

I first became aware of this stalker a few months back when – we’ll call he/she/it “widget” – suddenly disappeared. I know, kind of an odd time to notice a stalker. Allow me to explain…

You see, I logged in to my Facebook profile and suddenly “widget” was gone. I knew this because my friend count had decremented by one. At first, I assumed it was simply because someone decided I wasn’t all that funny and had given me the boot. That happens every now and then. Strange in and of itself, but hey, so am I. Anywho, later that day “widget” re-appeared. That is to say, my friend count INCREMENTED by one, all by itself. No new “friendings”… Just poof, up goes the number…

In recent weeks this has become a daily occurrence. Not only daily, but sometimes hourly. And, it’s not just “widget” who does the disappearing act. Sometimes 5 of them will go away, then mysteriously return. Or, sometimes, it’s 3… Or 2… But, without fail “widget” will pop in and out at least 1 time per day.

I have to wonder if this might be “widget’s” way of trying to get my attention. After all, Facebook is a pretty busy place, and as we know, I’m very easily distracted…

Oh look! A CHICKEN!!!

Ummm… Now… Where was I? Oh yeah, “widget”…

Some day I figure I’ll find out who “widget” really is. I mean, virtual stalker or not, someone has to be behind it.

Just for the record, my money is on that Lunch Meat Kid.

More to come…

Murv

Our cats have this whole pecking order thing going on.

Granted, we are down to only 2 felines after many years of rescuing, hospicing, and otherwise adopting copious numbers of the tuna breathed little flea bags, but this pecking order thing has been going on forever. I suppose it’s sort of like lions and their prides. One of them has to act like he (or she) is in charge, so that’s what happens.

Of course, as attrition takes hold and the population dwindles, there are skirmishes. Bids for power, incumbents, lame ducks… Well, they’re all lame ducks… But, you get the picture. King of the pride goes off to the great kitty condo in the sky, and those left behind go into a free-for-all about which one of them is going to wander the house in the middle of the night bellowing the call of the wild.

All in all, it’s pretty ridiculous. Nothing at all like we human folk handle things.

For instance, just the other day I was fixing dinner and the o-spring yelled for me to leave the refrigerator open. Apparently she needed something in there. What and why, I have no idea. After all, I was the one fixing dinner, not her.

Either way, I had already closed the fridge and was back at my prep work by the time she had yelled. She came into the kitchen, took one look and announced, “I said leave the refrigerator open.”

Of course, my response was, “I don’t take orders around here.”

Without missing a beat the o-spring returned, “Oh yeah? If mommy told you to leave it open you would have. You do everything she says.”

Yeah… I guess we know which Evil Kat won the skirmish.

Now, if you’ll be so kind as to excuse me, I have to go find my earplugs. It’s getting late and the “Domestic Redhair” is going to start her Queen (Bitch) Of The (Whole F*cking Universe) Pride yowling very soon…

More to come…

Murv