BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I talked to my child’s principal today… But, we’ll get to that in a minute… Right now, the wayback machine is calling…

The last time I was called to the principal’s office, I was in high school. Yeah… Way back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and all that jazz…

Now, please don’t misunderstand. I wasn’t a troublemaker by any stretch of the imagination. As it happened, my infraction had more to do with freedom of the press, and the administration wanting me, as well as a few other student journalists, to roll over on each other regarding a source from a news story. Fortunately, we had a hell of a staff advisor and the inquisition came to a swift end, minus the use of thumbscrews, detention slips, or suspensions.

Yeah… We were a regular bunch of Woodwards and Bernsteins back then.  I don’t even remember the exact story to be honest, but it probably had something to do with seriously hard hitting news, like some football player’s grades being fudged to keep him on the team, (because, of course, that so rarely happens). Or, maybe it was about a particular inferior brand of floorwax was being used by the janitorial staff.

Truth is, the story probably wasn’t even that “sexy”… We probably managed to get our hands on the lunch menu for the following week a few days early and broadcast it on the student radio station, KRSH, or something stupid like that… I really and truly don’t remember…

Suffice it to say, as you can see, the incident was so traumatic that I’ve simply blocked it out after all these years…

Yeah… Well… Saying it was traumatic  sounds much better than saying it was just so unimportant that I didn’t bother to remember… But, I digress…

Anyway, like I was saying, we took our Journalistic integrity very seriously back then… Last I heard, some of my cohorts even went on to become actual paycheck earning, byline having, Journalists, while I went the direction of writing Fiction instead… Of course, judging from the news I read in the papers and see on the tube these days, it would seem they went in the direction of Fiction too…

But, I suppose I should keep my opinion to myself where the integrity of today’s Journalism is concerned… Besides, this is really supposed to be about getting called to the principal’s office… So, let’s get back to that.

As I said at the beginning, I had occasion to chat with my child’s principal  on the phone today. Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything too serious. The reality is I had recently voiced a concern over the school district’s Internet policies. As it happened, the principal was kind enough to call me to discuss it.

Very cool… I was impressed by the attention to the matter, the timeliness, and the overall concern expressed… By the principal, that is.

The district’s policies, well, that’s a different story… But, we won’t go there right now.

The thing is, because of the subject we were discussing, I happened to mention that my feelings about the policies were partially driven by the somewhat ugly things I have learned doing research for my novels. I mean, given the subject matter about which I write, I’m bound to learn some pretty disturbing things about human nature and sociopaths, correct?

So, no big deal, right?

Well, if you remember one of my previous blog entries, (They’re Creepy And They’re Kooky… – March 2008), I don’t exactly run around broadcasting my profession to folks at my child’s school. In fact, other than Internet marketing and when I am actually “working,” (i.e. at a book signing,) I don’t say all that much about it at all, unless asked, of course. It’s not that I’m ashamed of it, but hey, it’s just my job. I mean, after all, it’s not like I would walk in to a parent-teacher conference and say, “Hi, I’m Murv, the plumber,” or “Nice to meet you, I’m Murv, the aircraft mechanic.”  Therefore, why would I go around announcing that I am an author? Again, unless asked of course.

My point here being, apparently the principal did not know what I do for a living. Or, at the very least, he didn’t know what the subject matter of my novels happened to be…

…And, by the same token, he probably didn’t, and still doesn’t, know what I used to do for a living… That being the fact that I was a Senior Level Electronics Tech and Internet Systems Administrator for 25 years…

“So, what does that have to do with anything, much less being called to the principal’s office?” you ask.

Well, you can take the Tech out of Geek land, but you can’t take the Geek out of the Tech… What I mean is, I still have my finger in the whole electronics and Internet thing… Including, analytics and IP tracking…

So, imagine my amusement when within an hour or so of hanging up with the principal I do a quick scan of my website logging and see, plain as day, that my legal name has been Googled, along with the tag “books,” all originating from an IP address registered to the school.

And, of course, Google dumped him right into my blog…

Given the sometimes racy jokes, unsavory words, and often tongue-in-cheek innuendo  my posts generally contain, I have to wonder how long it will be before I get called to the principal’s office…

Oh, do you think they’ll let me bring my notebook computer with me to detention? I have a lot of work to do and I could use the quiet time…

More to come…

Murv

Okay, folks…

You’ll be seeing something new on the blog posts these days… It looks a little something like this:

In fact, there is probably an icon just exactly like this one sitting just below the title of this very blog post. Uncanny, eh?

Well, you see, it’s like this… There is a plug in for WordPress which allows your blog posts to be converted to audio via a text to speech converter. Granted, it isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. For instance, it pronounces E K as Eck… and when I write one of my thoughtful pauses into a post… one which should sound and read something like a long hum… the converter stumbles over that with a hrrrmmmmm as you just heard.

I suppose this all means I will have to start adjusting my spelling on some things… However, I have already noticed that it doesn’t necessarily pronounce some normal everyday words all that well. And, I am not about to start spelling things phonetically just for the sake of the converter.

Still, like I said, although it isn’t perfect, it is a far cry better than the garbled phoneme spewing “Doctor Sbaitso” program that came with the original sound cards back in the day… read, prehistoric computer era.

But, what makes it totally excellent and incredibly cool is the fact that it now allows Brainpan Leakage to be listened to as well as read. This means you can subscribe to B L via Odiogo… the service that does the conversion… and download the entries as MP3’s or as sound files on your iPod. If listening is your preference, of course… Me, I prefer reading, especially since I stick pictures and even an occasional music link in my posts.

Either way, you’ll probably still want to subscribe to the notifications via the blog itself. That way, you’ll be able to click your way over here and read the entry whenever the text to speech converter stumbles a bit.

Anyhow, you can do the audio subscribing thing below. Or, you can find the same link in the Networked Blogs section of the menu on the right side panel.

Okay… I have some other words to write, so I’ll sign off. And never fear… Just because I am rambling now, it doesn’t mean the schedule has changed.  The next installment of… let’s see if this works… Maa waage… still deploys tomorrow.

More to come…

Murv

… ADDENDUM: Well, I edited this after the sound file had been generated, so if you listen you will notice that a couple of sentences are skipped… Also, my Mahwage substitute didn’t fare any better… Oh well. Apparently machines can’t speak with a lisp.

… ADDENDUM 2: Apparently the service re-gens updated versions of the file… I did not know that. Way cool.