BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

And so continues the WillyCon Odyssey, Day 3

The following takes place between 4 AM and 4 PM. Events occur in real time. (Sutherland still not available. His people are supposed to call my people.)

4:12 AM – AWAKE!!

@mrsellars – [looks at time on cell phone] [puts cell phone away] [looks at time on cell phone again…]

@mrsellars – #fuckme

@mrsellars – Ears popping, arthritis in knees killing me.

@mrsellars – [Scratch… Burp… Trudge] [facilities usage]

@mrsellars – [Trudge]

@Television – [Click] …and that’s exactly why you need Super Colon Reamer. After just seven days when you look into the toilet you…

@Television – [Click] …ya’ see. So get your goons outta my way, ya see…

@Television – [Click] …never shave again. Just apply wax and…

@Television – [Click] …watching it develop over Colorado and into the plains states. This area here [visual includes Wayne, NE right in the middle of it] is under a Blizzard Warning with a 90% chance of a foot or more…

@mrsellars – Watch now a warning… #fuckme

@mrsellars – Now I know why my ears are popping and my knees hurt.

@mrsellars – I know I already said it, but it warrants a repeat: #fuckme

7:00 AM

@mrsellars – Walkies…

@Analog_Camera – Click – Flash – Whirrrrrr…

@mrsellars – Walkies…

@Analog_Camera – Click – Flash – Whirrrrrr…

@mrsellars – Walkies…

@Analog_Camera – Click – Flash – Whirrrrrr…

@mrsellars – Walkies…

@Analog_Camera – Click – Flash – Whirrrrrr…

@mrsellars – Apparently Skippy the Squirrel is even more cunning than I first imagined. It would seem he has Internet access and reads my blog.

@mrsellars – Squirrel jerky and snow suit no longer viable options. Fall back to plan B. Make snowsuit out of blankets. Take empty suitcase to student center and steal food from Convention Hospitality Suite.

@mrsellars – Walkies….

@mrsellars – Good morning.

@Con_Registration_1 – Wow, someone who’s actually up at 7 in the morning.

@mrsellars – I’ve actually been up since a little after 4.

@Con_Registration_2 – Nomma himna, ibble.

@Con_Registration_1 – We haven’t gone to bed yet.

@mrsellars – I can see that.

@mrsellars – Where can I get coffee since nothing is open on campus?

@Con_Registration_1 – Umm… Uhhh…

@Con_Registration_2 – We didn’t make coffee.

@Con_Registraton_1 – I can show you where the coffee pot is.

@mrsellars – Please do.

@Con_Registration_1 @mrsellars – Walkies…

@mrsellars – If you turn your back long enough, I’ll just take the coffee pot back to my room (lol).

@Con_Registration_1 – You can’t do that. We have other people who drink coffee at 5 AM.

@mrsellars – Yeah, well I was up at 4.

@Nearby_Faculty_Member – LOL!

@Con_Registration_1 – O_o

@mrsellars – [waiting in line for pancake breakfast]

@Con_Attendee – Oh, hi. [shake hands] It’s nice to meet you. You friended me on Facebook.

@mrsellars – Yeah, not surprised. I’m like that sometimes.

@Con_Attendee – I didn’t get a chance to read any of your works. I’ve been pretty busy.

@mrsellars – [smile] That’s okay. I didn’t get a chance to read any of yours either.

@Con_Attendee – O_o

@mrsellars – Nomming on pancakes, sausage, and hash browns.

@Con_Registration_1 – [nom nom nom] I played Zombies last night.

@mrsellars – Sounds cool.

@Con_Registration_1 – My character was like Rambo. D cubed sigma x squared to the power of knife and then other guy teleported the cube root of 24 divided by the remaining integer three paper saving throw on my turn and there were 7 of them when you solve for x by isolating the variable in the quadratic then I killed 21 of them and…

@mrsellars – O_o

11:00 AM

@mrsellars  – Panel = yak, yak, yak, lol, yak, yak

@mrsellars – Booksigning = yak, sign, yak, sign

@mrsellars – Lunch = nom, nom, nom

@mrsellars – Panel = yak, yak, lol, yak, lol, yak, rofl, yak, yak, yakkity, yak, yakky, yakkity, yak, yak…

@mrsellars – Walkies…

4:00 PM

@mrsellars – Current wind speed 587 miles per hour. Eebil rain now falling sideways. Temperature – Extra Cold. Must check weather on toob.

@Television – Click… Lifts and separates, see…

@Television – Click… not eating paella…

@Television – Click… Insurance policy…

@mrsellars – Why doesn’t this damn thing just stay on the channel where I turned it off?

@Television – Click… Click… Click… Click… Click…

@mrsellars – No change… Western Nebraska has been annihilated… Now it’s coming for us.

@mrsellars – Time to implement  emergency survival plan. Good thing I brought MRE peanut butter and crackers in my luggage.

More to come…

Murv

I’m officially back in my room for the evening. Opening ceremonies are over and the groups have split off to engage in FRPG’s, MMORPG’s, and the like. Others are exuberantly bouncing around the campus sticking battery powered LED’s to metal rafters by attaching them to magnets and launching them at the ceiling. Have to admit, the student center is pretty colorful right now.

Unfortunately, I just don’t party into the night as well as I used to. All part of that aging thing I suppose. At any rate, here is my evening report from the WillyCon XI Odyssey.

@mrsellars – Noon noms, more good chow. Szechwan chicken stir-fry with lots of veggies and a small spinach salad with some sunflower seeds and beets.

@mrsellars – Wish I could afford to eat this healthy at home.

@mrsellars – Where the hell is my flash drive?

@mrsellars – Dammit… That flash drive has manuscript stuff on it that doesn’t need to be released just yet…

@mrsellars – Shit. Must have lost it when I was walking this morning.

@mrsellars – Walkies… Lookies…Walkies… Lookies… Walkies…

@mrsellars – [Back at room] Well hell… hopefully someone turned it in.

@mrsellars – Hey… What’s this in my coat pocket?

@mrsellars – #fuckme

@mrsellars – Universe is definitely making sure I get that exercise… What next? Am I going to end up shoveling snow?

@mrsellars – Forget I said that… Srsly. Just pretend it never happened.

@mrsellars – Did the big cheese leave a badge for me?

@Con_Registration –  Yeah, Murv. Number 2.

@mrsellars –  No thanks, I did number 2 this morning. I probably need to do a number 1 though.

@Con_Registration – O_o

@mrsellars – [Watching a segment of Omega Man with Charlton Heston] [shakes head] I just can’t watch this without expecting him to say, “Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!”

@Con_Registraton – LOL

@Movie_Watchers – O_o

@mrsellars –  I wonder why that maintenance guy is cleaning that rock with a wire brush?

@mrsellars – Went to campus coffee shop. Business so slow today they didn’t make any more coffee.

@mrsellars – Young lady behind counter made me huge espresso latte thingie for same price. She is now my new best girlfriend.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – [Notices my badge] Are you a speaker for WillyCon?

@mrsellars – Yes. I’m actually the author guest of honor.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

@mrsellars – Yeah.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – What do you write?

@mrsellars – Books.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – O_o [Pause] LOL! No kidding?

@mrsellars – Why would I kid you about that? (grin) But seriously, I write Paranormal Suspense Thrillers.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

@mrsellars – O_o

@mrsellars – Watched part of Logan’s Run. Jenny Agutter was kinda hot.

@mrsellars – E K needs one of those outfits…

@mrsellars – [wistful stare]

@mrsellars – Ahem. Ummm. Need to stop thinking about E K in one of those outfits.

@mrsellars – Watched part of Family Guy Star Wars spoof…

@mrsellars – All kinds of wrong happening on that screen.

@mrsellars – Really liked lightsabre = bug zapper gag. LOL at that one.

@mrsellars – When visual Doctor Who reference happened, excused myself for dinner.

@mrsellars – Not very hungry at dinner, but it was my last chance to eat for the day. Just had a couple of fish sticks , a small scoop of rice, and some coleslaw. Still very good.

@mrsellars – Fruit punch and Sierra Mist. Not bad. Bet a couple of shots of Vodka would make it even better.

@mrsellars – Dry campus.

@mrsellare – Do I really need to use the hashtag at this point? Y’all already know what I’m going to say…

@mrsellars – [mingle] tell stories [mingle] brag about kid [mingle] brag about wife [mingle] re-tell stories and chat [mingle]

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – So, what kind of books do you write?

@mrsellars – Scary shit.

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – Cool. I like scary shit.

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv!

@mrsellars – [looking upward] Hi!

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv, you need to change your Facebook photo.

@mrsellars – [still looking upward] Why?

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – No he doesn’t.

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Yes he does… Wait, I’ll come down.

@mrsellars – Okay.

@jeopardy_theme – Do da Do da Do da Dooo, Do da Do da, Doop da do do do do…

@Attendee_from_Balcony – Hi. Nice to meet you.

@mrsellars – Hi. Nice to meet you too.

@Attendee_from_Balcony – So, you need to change your Facebook photo. It makes you look like a dork, and not in a good way.

@mrsellars – O_o

(Note: @Attendee_from_Balcony had some valid points if looked at from her point of view, even though @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl didn’t agree with said points.)

@mrsellars – Heard that weather service is now predicting a possibility of 16 inches of snow starting tomorrow night.

@mrsellars – Have elected to form a survival plan.

@mrsellars – Might be able to find the necessary items in this dorm room to make snow shoes. Maybe even a sled.

@mrsellars – Currently investigating what will be involved with disassembling the bunk beds on the other side of the room in order to begin construction of aforementioned items.

@mrsellars – Heard several dogs barking earlier. Will investigate in the morning in case I need to assemble a sled team in a hurry.

@mrsellars – Side benefit of sled construction: leftovers from bunk bed frame can be used as firewood.

@mrsellars – As of now @skippy_the_squirrel and his friends are considered livestock.

@mrsellars – Will steal salt shakers from cafeteria tomorrow in order to preserve  them.

@mrsellars – Using pages from convention program book to make pattern for squirrel hide snowsuit.

@mrsellars – Just to be safe, presently designing multi-tiered defense system for room. I know what happened with the Donner party, and I ain’t gonna git et.

More to come…

Murv

(Note: If you are reading my blog for the first time please understand that what I post here is not only observational humor, but satirical as well. For the record, the folks at WillyCon are absolutely wonderful, have been a joy to hang out with, and I am having a great time. Really.  And they didn’t even force me say that or anything… 🙂 )