BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

If you aren’t from – or in my case, intimately familiar with since I live here – the Saint Louis area, you are probably not going to have any idea what I am talking about. Most likely, the only other way you would have a clue about this is if you happened to have seen a documentary on PBS back in 2003 called “Sandwiches You Will Like,” and even then you might be scratching your head…Unless you happen to remember the segment on the “St. Paul Sandwich.”

For those of you who still haven’t any clue what I am on about, please allow me to explain.

Among foods that hail from St. Louis – and some that even remain totally unique to STL – such as Toasted Ravioli, Gooey Butter Cake, Slingers, etc, there is a delicacy known as the “St. Paul Sandwich“. Now, the thing about this sandwich is that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with St. Paul, Minnesota as one would surmise from its name. Why it has this name no one really knows. How it got invented – Well, that’s a mystery too…Either way, it is a creation hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, and for some reason remaining here almost exclusively – though rumor has it you can now obtain one in San Francisco. (I cannot say this is a true fact as I have not been to SF to attempt finding one)… Anyhow, the St. Paul is something you get from a Chinese restaurant…Yeah, a Chinese restaurant. Obviously, we are talking Americanized Chinese food here, but what the hell – it’s a St. Paul Sandwich by the Gods!

So, what exactly IS a St. Paul Sandwich? Simple, really – it is an egg foo young patty (flavor of choice – beef, chicken, whatever) sans gravy. It is then placed between two slices of plain, white sandwich bread – To be PROPER, the bread should in fact be Wonder Bread–, since Wonder is big here and we have a local Wonder factory/bakery and all – anyway, add to that, at the bare minimum, dill pickle slices (not sweet, must be dill) and a bit of mayo. Some restaurants will embellish with sliced tomato and a bit of lettuce as well, which is always nice.

So there you have it… The St. Paul Sandwich – Saint Louis comfort food. A veritable bit of perfection between two slices. Good for what ails ya’. Happiness on bread. Lunch. Dinner. A late night snack..The whole nine yards…

“But, Murv…” you say as you pause with a confused expression on your face before launching into the crux of your question. “The title of this blog is The St. Storm Sandwich, not The Saint Paul Sandwich. What gives?”

You are correct…That IS the title…Why? Because, like all of my other characters, Detective Benjamin Storm has a mind of his own, and while he likes St. Pauls, he prefers to put a bit of a twist on them (as does this author…) Therefore, I present to you…

The Saint Storm Sandwich

Obviously, you have to start with Egg Foo Young Patties sans gravy, your flavor of choice (Ben prefers beef and sometimes pork. The author, on the other hand, is fond of vegetable EFY. The tricky part here is that the author happens to be an accomplished cook, whereas Ben’s expertise in the kitchen extends about as far as making a grilled cheese sandwich using aluminum foil and a steam iron. Therefore, the author makes his own egg foo young. Ben, on the other hand, picks his up from Happy Wok Express [see: Never Burn A Witch]. He simply orders it without the gravy then takes them home and assembles the sandwich himself. Although, being a regular at the Happy Wok, he has convinced them to keep the non-standard ingredients in the walk-in, and they have been known to make the sandwiches for him at times.)

INGREDIENTS:

Egg Foo Young Patty, no gravy, flavor of choice

Two slices of dark rye bread (NOTE: Author prefers a nice multi-grain instead, although the rye is a nice change of pace at times.)

Horseradish-Sharp Cheddar Cheese Spread

Salad Dressing (Ben and Author both prefer Spin Blend, another midwestern product…)

Thinly sliced tomato

Dill pickle slices

Crispy fried bacon strips

PREPARATION:

Toast bread. Place a thin layer of salad dressing on one slice and a generous layer of horseradish-cheese spread on the other. Layer EFY patty, tomato, pickles, and several strips of bacon on top of first bread slice. If you are especially hungry, double the number of EFY patties, pickles, tomato, and bacon then repeat layer. Top with second bread slice. Enjoy with a cold beer.

Special Note: Double-decker St. Storms are usually reserved for when you are drunk and cannot comprehend that your mouth probably won’t fit around it. Generally, author will eat one (1) regular St. Storm. Ben, however, usually consumes a bare minumum of three (3).

So, there you have it… No, I’m not kidding. If you don’t have access to decent EFY like Ben, and you are proficient in the kitchen, I’ll be happy to pass along my personal recipe for the “egg foo” itself.

More to come…

Murv

Okay, faithful readers of my ramblings, time for another episode of Just the FAQ’s, with your host…Me!

(Aren’t you just all atwitter?)

So, let’s just jump right into it…

The first letter reads: Dear MR. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and now I really want to get back together with her. I just know that if she heard “Witchy Woman” on your show with a dedication from me, that she would take me back with open arms and let bygones be bygones. I would be forever grateful if you could do that for me. Signed, Heartbroken in Hoboken…

All right, H in H, let me see if I can help you out here…Our first long distance dedication is…

Had ya’ goin’ there for a minute, didn’t I? (Oh, come on, humor me…)

So, anyway, on to the FAQ’s!

1) Every time I log on to Myspace you are online. Are you addicted or what? Shouldn’t you be writing or something?

No, I’m not addicted, and me being continuously online is nothing more than a cruel illusion. Remember, I used to be a computer guru before I became a scary writer guy for a living. I have way too many computers around here, and at any given time during the day I might check in on Myspace using any one of them, depending on what room I happen to be in at the time. But, also remember that I am old, so sometimes I forget to log out. Actually, most of the time I forget to log out…Soooo, it’s not unusual for at least one computer here in the house to be logged into the account 24/7, thereby creating the illusion that I need neither sleep, nor time to do anything else.

And, yes, I should be writing or something…

2) Who is the leggy babe on your myspace backgrounds? Can I get her number?

The “leggy babe” (and yes, I agree, she is a leggy babe, which is probably why her legs are featured prominently in most of the backgrounds where she appears) …Anyway, said “leather clad vixen” is a friend and part-time model by the name of Wendi O’Brien. She posed for the covers of Love Is The Bond and All Acts Of Pleasure, as well as the promotional posters for both books. There is actually an article about the LITB photo shoot and an interview with the cover artist, Johnathan Minton, in one of my earlier snail-mail newsletters.

And, no, you may not have her number. Not from me at any rate. Besides, you don’t really want it, trust me. She’s even meaner than she looks.

On an interesting note: In keeping with the theme of the trilogy, the cover of The End Of Desire will also feature Miranda as its focal point, however, Wendi will not be modeling for that photo this time. Reknowned Pagan Artist, Mickie Mueller has been retained to actually pose for it, and the photo session is occuring later this month (Feb 2007). As usual, well known (and very bizarre) graphic artist, Johnathan Minton, owner of Woodblock Graphic Design, is producing the artwork for the cover and will be directing the photo shoot.

3) Do you listen to music when you write, and if so what do you listen to?

That largely depends on what I am writing. Sometimes I do the quiet thing, other times I have music blaring. However, I actually do have music playing most of the time. My selections are usually directly relative to the type of scene I am writing–for instance, when writing some of the more intense stuff I might be listening to such artists as Black Sabbath or Metallica. If the passage/chapter I am working on is a bit more mellow then you might find Enya or Loreena McKennitt in the CD Tray.

4) What does the M. R. stand for?

Mister.

Well, not really, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so best we leave it at that. Suffice it to say, my name actually ends in a Jr. My father was, of course, Sr. Soooo, there were two of us hung with the name.

5) Out of all of your books, which one is your favorite?

The one I am working on at the time. Really. Truth is they are all a labor of love, and in a sense that question is almost like asking a parent which of their children they love the most. Even so, as much as I am fond of all of my books, my favorite is always the one I am working on at the time.

6) What brand of cigars do you smoke?

The same brand as Rowan. CAO’s preferably the MX2, but I’ll set fire to, and puff on, just about anything CAO produces. I also enjoy Santa Damiana’s, Cruz Real’s, and Arturo Fuente’s among others.

As to any other specifics, I am a fan of Maduro wrappers and a fairly good size ring gauge (52 and above), although I definitely won’t turn down smaller gauges, or EMS wrappers. Hell, I won’t turn down a free cigar at all…

Okee-dokee…there you have it for this episode…Hope it was enlightening, and if not, at least mildly entertaining.

MR