BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

…With thanks to Thomas Dolby for the snippet of song lyric which titles this entry. Actually, this all happened yesterday, but I warned y’all I’d probably be too tired to post my travel-blog until this morning, so there!

But, let’s get down to business – Yes, I flew north in order to go south east. I know, doesn’t make sense to me either, but like I said before, there was no way to get to Wayne, NE from St. Louis. It was one of those “can’t get there from here” situations, and that included the reverse trip as well.

At any rate, the following is a chronicle of my trip home, after Ron (the Wayne State College SF Club Faculty Advisor and one hell of a great guy) dropped me off at the airport.

@mrsellars – Time to get my FLY SUX t-shirt. [browse…browse] [go to counter with t-shirt in hand]

@SUX_Cashier – Gonna buy a t-shirt?

@mrsellars – No, I just figured I’d carry it around the store for a while.

@SUX_Cashier – o_o

@mrsellars – It’s a joke. I’ll take two of these FLY SUX pilot’s wings pins too.

@SUX_Cashier – Really want that stuff, huh?

@mrsellars – Absolutely. It’s a moral imperative.

@SUX_Security_Guard – At least you have morals.

@mrsellars – Oh yeah. But of course, I didn’t say they were good morals.

@SUX_Security_Guard – O_o

@SUX_Cashier – O_o

@Egg_Beater_Express – [Arriving at Gate 2] Pttthpppbtt…  whirrr…. pthbbbhhhtttttt… skreee… whirrr… Spit… Koff… Koff… Sputter… Klunk… Pop!

@mrsellars – O_o

@mrsellars – Oh yeah… This should be fun.

@mrsellars – Wonders how they are going to fit all of the 4000 Asian individuals milling around the terminal onto that single plane.

[Boarding time]

@Gate_2 – [half dozen Asian passengers board plane] [remaining 3994 Asian folks wave from other side of TSA security checkpoint.]

@mrsellars – Now that’s a big family… O_o

@Egg_Beater_Flight_Attendant – Welcome aboard, don’tchaknow, Yah… We’re all goin to Manny-Sowda dere, all righty. Okey-dokey… Let’s all go ice fishin’ when we get dere… okey-dokey? Yah, don’tchaknow…

@mrsellars – Shoot me now…

@Egg_Beater_Flight_Attendant – Somethin’ to drink dere?

@mrsellars – Coffee?

@Egg_Beater_Flight_Attendant – Oh yah, I got some Kah-Fee dere. Yah want anything in it dere?

@mrsellars – Not unless it’s really bad coffee.

@Egg_Beater_Flight_Attendant – Ohhhh, I heard all about you dere, don’tcha know… You just fasten up your seatbelt dere mister…

@Egg_Beater_Express – Ptthhbbbppptptt… Pthbbt… Whirr… Whocka… Thumpa… Pthbbbttttt…

@mrsellars – O_o

@mrsellars – How in the hell can it be so far from Gate A3 to B1?

@MN-SP_Airport – Arrive Gate A3… Connection Gate B1… No, B3… Wait… Okay, B8… B8, yah, that’s it dere don’tchaknow… Stay at B8 dere… Yah… All good dere… Yah, go get noms… We’ll be right here when you get back don’tchaknow…

@mrsellars – [Goes for noms]

@mrsellars – Same employees at Quiznos. Still moving in slow motion. Caribou coffee again.

@mrsellars – [returns from getting noms]

@MN-SP_Airport – PSYCHE! Connection now at B14…

@mrsellars – O_o

@mrsellars – Consumed another not so stellar wrap – Honey Mustard chicken this time. Plenty of lettuce ribs from trash included… Mmmm-mmm-mmm, good fiber. More blue green algae. Total cost of $2 wrap and $1 drink, $12.35…

@mrsellars – Price discrepancy due to purchasing coffee at Caribou Coffee as well. Not in the mood for pencil shavings today. Plus, if tasting E Kay’s stockings would prefer she be present (See: We’re Off To See The Blizzard…)

@mrsellars – Still not telling…

@Young_Hottie_Passenger – [Waving at man walking past gate] Hey! Old Guy!!

@Old_Guy_Passenger – [Stops] Hey… How are you?

@Old_Guy’s_Wife – Are you flirting with women AGAIN!!!

@mrsellars – Hmmm… Impending catfight?

@Young_Hottie_Passenger – But… But… I just sat next to him on the plane…

@Old_Guy’s_Wife – Oh yeah, Beeyotch!!

@mrsellars – @other_passenger – Gimme $50 on the old chick.

@Flight_Attendant – Sir, can I ask you to move so that this family can sit together.

@mrsellars – Sure.

@mrsellars – [move move move]

@Old_Asian_Guy_Across_Aisle – [Looks] [points] [elbows wife] [points] [both proceed to jabber to one another while pointing and staring]

@mrsellars – Hmmmm… Apparently Asian Minnesotans have never seen a guy in shorts either.

@STL_Lambert_Airport – Your luggage will be at M6… No wait… M3…. No… M4… PSYCHE! M6…

@mrsellars – O_o

Arrive Passenger Pickup Area

@EK – Dammit, you made the flight… I thought I told you to go for a walk in that blizzard?

@mrsellars – I did.

@EK – And you found your way back?

@mrsellars – Yeah.

@EK – Dammit.

@mrsellars – @EK – You’re looking exceptionally pretty today.

@EK – Of course I am.

@Offspring – Psshbbbbppttt! Daaahhhhddddyyyy… It’s just because you haven’t seen her for a few days.

@EK – O_o

@mrsellars – O_o

Finally Home

@EK – I read your blogs.

@mrsellars – Okay.

@EK – I know about the other cow.

@mrsellars – Yeah.

@EK – Did you get me any steaks?

@mrsellars – Nope. Locals beat me to it again.

@EK – Stay right here. I’m going to go get something to beat you with.

@mrsellars – Yes ma’am.

And so ends the odyssey… Well, not completely. I have some film to drop off, and I already have a few of the digital pix courtesy of Ron. I’ll be throwing together a retrospective via my newsletter in the next few days.

Thanks again to everyone at WillyCon and Wayne State College for letting me be a part of their convention. I had a blast. Oh, and now I can say I’ve weathered a minor blizzard too.

More to come…

Murv

Day 3, Evening Edition…

The following takes place between… Awww, fuggit.

4:45 PM

@mrsellars – Fuggit. I’m wearing my sweats for the rest of the evening. Miserable, cold rain… Not going to make pretty.

@mrsellars – Walkies… Rain… Walkies… Rain…

@mrsellars – Drip… Drip… Drip…

@Con_Registration – Raining out there?

@mrsellars – Nope. I took a shower but couldn’t find my towel.

@mrsellars – Dry… Dry… Dry…

@mrsellars – Meet Maria William, artist guest of honor and her husband, Chris. Have dinner with faculty advisor, some alumni, and other GoH’s… Good conversation, good noms.

@mrsellars – [Mingle Chat Mingle]

7:30 PM boop, boop, beep, bahp, beep, beep, boop, bahp, bahp, beep, boop… Ring… Ring… Ri!

@EK – Hello.

@mrsellars –  It’s here.

@EK – What’s here?

@mrsellars – Snow. Flakes the size of compact cars flying sideways. I just saw one take out a cow.

@EK – Did you get any steaks?

@mrsellars – Locals beat me to it.

@EK – You let them get there first? Remind me to beat you when you get home.

@mrsellars – Yes ma’am.

@EK – Next cow that goes down you get me some steaks. Got me?

@mrsellars – Damn, I think a family of badgers just flew past the window.

@EK – I’m not fond of badger.

@mrsellars – Yeah, rumor has it they’re afraid of you anyway.

@EK – They should be.

@mrsellars – So, according to the weather service Western Nebraska has been completely annihilated. Storm says it is planning to kill all of us too.

@EK – Hold on just a second. [skree-skrshhh-chunk… riffle…riffle…riffle…] Hmmmm… Okay, I’m back.

@mrsellars – What’s up?

@EK – Just checking to make sure your life insurance is paid up.

@mrsellars – Is it?

@EK – Yes, sure is. So you can stop whining. Why don’t you go for a long walk.

@mrsellars – It’s whiteout conditions. You can’t see across the parking lot.

@EK – Sounds like a good time for you to go exploring, don’t you think?

@mrsellars – O_o

@Faculty_Advisor – …And that one, and that one, and maybe that one.

@mrsellars – I dunno, there isn’t much meat on that one. Maybe a soup bone.

@Faculty_Advisor – That might work.

@mrsellars – We’ll need salt. Being students they might be a bit gamey. Gonna want to salt ’em down for a day or two before we cook ’em.

@Faculty_Advisor – I’ll check the cafeteria.

@mrsellars – While you’re there, see if they have any garlic and fava beans. No reason for us to be barbaric about it.

8:00 PM  – Masquerade Contest – GoH’s judge.

@mrsellars – Whoa mama, E K needs a costume like that… Cool… Good workmanship… That’s one’s neat… Hey, I bet that one took a lot of work… Wow… That one is impressive… Man, that one is cool… Hey, she sings good… Hey, she’s pretty funny… Wow, he put a lot of work into that…

@mrsellars – [Deliberate] [Discuss] [Deliberate] [Discuss]

@mrsellars – Need to stop visualizing E K in that costume…

@mrsellars – Night all… I’m too old for this shit, I’m going to my room to settle in.

@Con_Folks – Goodnight, Murv!

@mrsellars – Walkies… Walkies… Walkies…

@mrsellars – Walkies… Walkies… Lean… Stagger… Lean…

@mrsellars – Walkies… Walkies…

@mrsellars – Stumble…

@mrsellars – [unlock door] [go in] [lock door] [turn on computer] [raise blinds]

@mrsellars –  {exhausted sigh}

More to come… (Or, not…)

Murv

Note: Satire, observational, humor, ’nuff said. See previous disclaimer. Tired.