BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

My apologies to the B-52’s. I’ll buy y’all a round of drinks next time you’re in town, okay? (Watch ’em all order B-52’s…)

So, anyway, Facebook and Twitter folk know that last weekend we were finally able to get around to re-roofing our shed. Many of you have asked about it… Okay, okay, so none of you have asked about it. Be that way… Sheesh… Tough crowd everywhere I go.

Be that as it may… or as it were… or was… or is… Oh, what the hell. Thing is, it’s too damn hot for me to sit in the office and be funny. I’m much funnier when chilled. Therefore, by way of blog entry I am going to provide you with a few pictures and captions from the Great Shed Re-Roofing of 2010…

To the left we have “Le Shed.” The E K and I built it something on the order of 15 or 17 or maybe even 112 years ago. I can’t really remember. At any rate, it has served us well. However, it lives beneath a black walnut tree that is infested with Tree Rats (aka Skwirlz… not Squirrels, mind you. We have Skwirlz. Trust me… I’m pretty sure McSquizzy is their leader.) Anywho, after umpty-jillion years the asphalt shingled roof gave up the ghost. Once that happened, McSquizzy and his crew began their own demolition work.

Between the Skwirlz and weather, tolls were taken, but no receipts given. Problem is, with our schedules, getting out there and re-roofing the thing was proving a challenge. It wasn’t that we didn’t know how. We just didn’t have time.

Finally, this past winter we were able to do a quick tear-off, but the weather turned on us, and with time being a factor once again, a tarp became the interim roof.

Me, being the early riser that I am, got out there and pulled the tarp, then set about the process of replacing the damaged trusses.

Eventually, Loota-Chack and the Mikester showed up, followed by Johnathan “Mentos Rib Fest” Minton. Oh, and E K was there too. Once we managed to get the trusses replaced, E K and the Mikester went up top and set about the process of installing the purlins. These were necessary because we elected to go with a corrugated roofing material this go around.

During the initial installation, we were entertaining ourselves with some tunes. Much to our  dismay followed by delight, we discovered that the Mikester was unfamiliar with Aphrodite’s Child. We made it a point to change that.

This educational interlude, however, seemed to annoy the disembodied voice behind all of the pictured foliage, and he yelled sarcastic silliness at us. He should really leave the sarcasm to the professionals, because he wasn’t any good at it at all.

Here we have the offending radio. It even has its own chair. We allowed it to continue playing in the back yard while we were working so that we could keep an eye on it. However, since it was bad and offended the neighbor so much that he had to yell over the top of his weeds, when we were finished we sent it to its room and took away its power cord. Bad radio. No batteries for you!

It never ceases to amaze me…

No matter how hard I work, no matter what power tools, hand tools, or lumber I happen to be using, cutting, hammering, or otherwise busting my ass with, the only picture of me is where I am in supervisor mode.

I think E K does that to me on purpose, just to make me look bad…

Of course, at least I was supervising.

Loota-chack, on the other hand, was working just as hard as she could holding the ground down so it didn’t float away. I mean, after all, if the back yard had floated away we wouldn’t have any place to put the shed, right?

But, seriously folks, this is just the A-Bomb taking a break. We were all bustin’ arses on this project. Even “Little Miss 57 Languages” here…

Speaking of Luets-es-es… Here we have The Mikester. He’s kind of a trip. Has do-rag, will travel. He even comes with his own tools.

One of the amazing things about The Mikester is that he shows up, tools in hand, then does ANYTHING and EVERYTHING the redhead tells him to do. Seriously. She points and barks orders. Mikester jumps and carries out her commands. Somehow or another she has him even better trained than she has me. Not sure what that’s all about.

And, what’s a shed re-roofing without a gratuitous “Kilroy Was Here” photo.

And, wouldn’t you know it, Johnathan “Mentos Rib Fest” Minton is the culprit.

Unfortunately, this is the best pic we have of the Mentos during the project, which is too bad.  The T-Shirt he wore that day is actually an On The Edge Graphics original from the online store. Any guesses which one? Yeah… “Wearer Property of Evil Kat“… Hmmm… wonder why he selected that particular shirt on that particular day?

And finally, The Evil One herself… She hates having her picture taken so this is pretty much the best I could manage… Not that it isn’t perfectly lovely in its own right…

She actually had to take frequent breaks, because she’s so hot that she was warping the Ondura Roofing Panels. Go figure…

Still, here the roof is almost halfway installed… By the time we were done we were all too tired to take a picture of the finished product – besides which, E K and I had to get cleaned up and rush downtown to MAC for my 30th HS reunion.

Yes. Seriously. We busted our asses on the shed ALL DAY, then went to the reunion dinner… So, if you were there and wondered why we looked a little cooked, there you have it.

Okay… I’ll see if I can come up with something funny for  this coming Wednesday.

Hey! It could happen…

More to come…

Murv

The continuing saga of inherited rental property which sucks the very life from you…

For more background on the story, see Week 1 entry HERE.

And so, since I am exhausted, AND I’m already into the week 3 at Hell House, here are some pics with short explanations…

Monday – We started week 2 with knocking out a section of foundation where a crack had formed. Fortunately, it was for the most part superficial. On the left is a picture of Scuba Steve, my contractor buddy, hammer drilling so we can set rebar to pin the repair concrete to the foundation proper.

After planting the rebar into the holes, Scuba went to the “Happy Van” as we like to call it, pulled out some plywood, and anchored it to the foundation to build a form.

Then we mixed up a bunch of concrete, as if we hadn’t been mixing enough of that already for the stairs and such.

Here on the right is a picture of the concrete poured in place with plywood forms anchored in place.

We literally created a chute from a piece of cardboard so that we could pour the wet concrete directly in behind the form.

Once the soupier mix had started to set up, we took a slightly drier version of it and troweled in along the top edge of the form.

When we pulled the plywood off the foundation the next day, other than a slight color variation, you’d almost never even know there had been a crack there.

Monday – Tuesday – Wednesday: In addition to the front sump and back sump, the basement had a low spot issue. This meant it was necessary for us to jackhammer a trench into the floor in order to install a secondary floor drain. The trench was a bit over 25 feet long and terminated at the original floor drain so we could tie in.

You can see the standing water around the old water heater and the base of the furnace. When the basement flooded it completely destroyed the water heater, however the workings of the furnace were up and out of harm’s way, fortunately for us.

Scuba with the jackhammer. He ended up with several bruises AND a huge blister on his hand after two weeks of driving this thing.

The blue thing around his head is one of the coolest inventions of all time. When we were doing all of this it was fairly hot and we were sweating like the proverbial stuck pigs. The blue thing is a sponge on a rubberband. It works even better than your average headband at keeping the sweat out of your eyes. Scuba happened to have an entire bag of them and he gave me a few. I now swear by them when it comes to any work where I’ll be doing some sweating.

And, here we have the Grand Canyon…

After jackhammering and sledghammering, we had to dig the trench down to the proper depth for the pipes and the trap on the floor drain, which is why you see piles of dirt everywhere. Scuba is doing the Scuba Steve dance in the background…

I took this picture shortly after we finished the digging and had laid out all of the PVC pipes and fittings along the side of the trench for a dry fit. Fortunately, the dry fit was a success and we were able to glue it and start back filling very quickly.

The new secondary floor drain…

Ain’t it purdy?

We positioned this in the low spot near the furnace and hot water heater. Prior to this it had been necessary to run the condensation drain hose from the Air Conditioner across the floor to the center of the basement so that it could empty into the main floor drain.

Now, instead of having something to trip over, the drain hose is only a few feet long and resides in the back storage area of the basement.

Sometimes it’s the little things…

The tie in to the main…

When we originally tore out the floor, we had intended to tie in to the drain for the bar sink, however when we arrived at that point we discovered a bit of a problem, that being a footing for one of the structural piers. Therefore we had to continue several more feet to the main line.

The second line is from the aforementioned sink that used to be in the kitchenette prior to the basement flood requiring a total gut.

We left it intact complete with vent pipe, but capped it off. That way if the basement is ever redone, the plumbing is already installed.

The trench 14 bags of concrete later…

As with the pad, stairs, and foundation, we mixed and poured all of the concrete by hand using a wheelbarrow. You can’t really see it in this picture, but there is also a form with a square pad poured where the old water heater used to reside (it is moved in this pic.) The pad is where the new water heater has a perch now.

All told, between the stairs, pads, foundation, and the trench, Scuba and I (and Duane) poured something on the order of 32 bags of concrete, all mixed by hand.

Thursday – Friday: These two days saw the installation of the new hot water heater, which included an enormous amount of plumbing since the old copper was too small to meet code and specs. I didn’t photograph any of the pipe cutting, joint sweating, etc. However, it took two days to redo the plumbing, gas pipes, and venting for the water heater and furnace. Just so we have something to look at, here is the new hot water heater sitting pretty on the nice, raised pad I mentioned earlier.

All of the venting is shiny and new. When we were carrying it in, Scuba had slipped several of the fittings onto my arms. Before we ever reached the back door we had both broken into a chorus of, “Oz never did give nothin’ to the Tin Man…” Yeah, I know. We aren’t right in the head. But, we know that so it’s all good.

And, of course, each day at 5:00 PM, it was “Beer Thirty”, whereupon we would take a break for a can or two of the brew…

Scuba Steve

Swervin’ Murvin’

And finally, when Saturday rolled around, it was time to paint. All of our friends showed up to slop antique white on the upstairs walls that were ready for paint. As promised, here is a picture of The Evil Redhead on stilts, doing the cut in work in one of the back bedrooms.

The Giantess Evil Kat

This brings us to Week 3 at Hell House, and hopefully the last hell week since the tenants should be moving in this coming weekend. For a taste of just one of the things I had to tackle, courtesy of the former tenant…

More to come…

Murv