BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I’ve noticed something.

Yeah, I know, no biggie since I’m noticing stuff and telling you about it all the time, right? Well, I’m still going to tell you anyway.

So, this thing I’ve noticed is a Twitter phenomenon. Not the phenomenon of Twitter itself, or even the phenomenon of celebs on Twitter having their personal assistants post tweets for them. Rest assured, all of my tweets are 100% me. Thought up by me, typed in by me, and like the President, I even hit the enter button when I am done typing. Hell, I even use Tweetdeck to multitask in the fast paced Twitter-world.

Of course, I suppose none of the above really matters since I’m not a celeb. Oh well… Just thought you should know.

So, anyway, back to this phenomenon I’ve noticed. I’ve named it – as you can see from the title of this blog entry – “The Half Tweet Effect.”

THTE, as I like to call it, is the electronic status update equivalent of walking into the middle of a conversation at a party. Or, on a bus. Or, in a store… It doesn’t really matter where, to be honest. It’s really just the whole “middle of the conversation” thing that’s important.

You see, be it Tweetdeck, your Twitter page, or some other interface you may be using, it is almost impossible to avoid THTE. You log in and there it is, slapping you in the face.

@MuNkEnSpAnK – …so, I left the battery cables, drank the Alka-Seltzer, and then went to buy a hot dog.

or

@flbrtyjibt – …and then turn left.

or

@bud_girl – …and so I bought it! Of course, I had to have shoes too so I went…

I have no idea what joke preceded that punch line, I have no idea from whence I am to turn left, and I don’t know what bud_girl bought – although I can probably imagine a few things. Of course, what I imagine is probably way better than the reality. But, I digress.

The thing is, even though you click, follow, and otherwise search around, you can’t find the first half tweets that came before – or the tweets that begat these responses. They’ve disappeared. They’re gone. You are in the land of Half Tweet Hell. What’s worse, sometimes the half tweet is really a third tweet, or quarter tweet. So, not only are you missing the beginning, but you are missing the ending too. It’s just a lonely, nonsensical comment hanging out there in the ether with no beginning or end, just a middle…

@mrsellars – And, with that I think maybe I’ll just…

More to come…

Murv

The other day a friend of mine (yes, I have friends) told me that a mutual friend had asked him “what had happened to me?” By this she apparently meant, “What life altering experience had slapped me in the back of the head with a 2 by 4 and made me eschew my spiritual path.”

I’ll be honest. This came as a shock to me because I was entirely unaware that I had done so. My spiritual path has grown immensely over the years, but it has never been abandoned. It has been right there with me all along.

Now, granted, I have not “self-identified” as Pagan for quite a long time now. There are numerous reasons for this, none of which we will go into here because my blog is generally a fun place – although, I will admit to soapboxing every now and again. And, as it happens, I will be doing so here today… But, I really don’t want to create too many suds, if you know what I mean, therefore we will stick to one brand of detergent for this missive.

So, anyway, back to “what happened to me”… To be perfectly honest, at the outset I didn’t really think too much about the “question.” After all, it had been years since I’d seen the particular individual who was making the actual query, so I had to assume she was mistaking growth for a “negative change” (in her eyes, at least). But, as it turns out I wasn’t able to keep it on the back burner for long, because soon afterward I started receiving the annual “what’s wrong with you?” emails from other folks…

Yes, I said annual…

You see, not a year goes by that I don’t receive at least a dozen or so queries from folks out there who cannot seem to understand why a guy who writes books about Witches, and who portrays Paganism in general – as well as various specific alternative religious practices – in a positive, and moreover accurate light, would stoop so low as to celebrate *GaSp!* Christmas… After all, anyone with any sense whatsoever can tell you that the historical probability that Jesus – if he even existed – couldn’t possibly have been born on December 25th. But, even more importantly, how dare me, a “Pagan Author,” celebrate a *GaSp!* Christian Holiday. Everyone knows they co-opted our celebration, so why am I choosing to observe it and lend credence to them? Have I *GaSp!* turned into a Christian?

Oh noes… Say it ain’t so!

I’ll be truthful here – At all of this nonsense I would expel a hearty laugh were it not so utterly sad and ridiculous. Instead, I find that I must expel a hearty and saddened sigh, complete with a shake of my head.

You see, what always seems to prompt these emails is the fact that E K, the O-Spring, and I exchange gifts on Christmas morning instead of Yule proper – that being the Winter Solstice. The complaint is, if we were “proper Pagans” we would exchange our gifts on the 21st of the month – or for the truly fundamental, 0 degrees Capricorn – instead of observing a *GaSp!* Christian Holiday.

Yes… Believe it or not, that is the basis of the “what’s wrong with you?” emails I receive each year… Some of them are actually flat out scathing, accusing me of undermining Paganism. Apparently I am a spy sent to infiltrate the ranks of Pagandom and infect it with Christmas Cheer… Who knew? Hell, I’ve even had people tell me they are never going to read my novels again, because obviously I am “not Pagan enough” to warrant their attention.

True story. Really. Even I couldn’t make this sh*t up.

So, allow me to point out a couple of things that might have some bearing on what is wrong with me…

1. My family and I celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday. This means the Coca-Cola Santa Claus and all that jazz, even though the O-Spring hasn’t believed in the jolly elf for many a year now.
2. We also celebrate Yule as a spiritual holiday. For us, this means a fire, a feast, and good friends present at both to help us usher in the light.

So, what does all this mean?  Well, depending on who you ask it apparently means that “I ain’t Pagan enough,” all because we wait an extra 4 days to open our presents.

Oh well… Guess I’d better turn in my broom…

More to come…

Murv