BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

No, not your head. And, noooooo, not that satellite/cable TV network for kids either…

Nog… Milk, Egg Yolks, Sugar, Vanilla, and some Nutmeg. Egg Nog. The elixir of the holidays. The “dairy that marries” so well with good Kentucky/Tennessee Bourbon. The very reason for making it to and through the bah-humbug season of the year.

Know what I’m talking about now? Yeah, thought so.

I’ve spoken highly of nog before. In fact, I suspect I’ve even posted a Nog Blog in the past, I’m sure. But, I’m old and I have CRS* so I don’t always remember. Anyway, as you may recall, the appearance of nog in the refrigerated section of the supermarket is how I know it is time to “be of good cheer”. And, as stated above, it is the reason I am of good cheer during the “holler days”. (Well, it and the bourbon…A whole lotta bourbon…)

There I go digressing again… It’s the bourbon talking, I’m sure of that. Maybe i should have some more… Anywho, obviously I am now in possession of sour mash-laced, sweetened and thickened dairy products of the supermarket ilk (because I simply don’t have enough hours in the day to make boiled custard – as we call it back where I come from. I’m sure I have regaled you with stories of watching my mom, my grandmother, and/or my grandfather Elvis standing at the stove, carefully and constantly stirring a pot of the concoction. If I haven’t, then perhaps I need to get nostalgic and post a Double Nog Blog this year. So, anyway, I am also in possession of the supermarket style nog because my gut  doesn’t require any more than I obtain from the store…you see, if I made it myself I’d make a lot… I mean A LOT! My gut is big enough as it is.)

So, as I sit here working in my office – well, at my dining room table actually since I felt like a change of venue today – I am having a bourboned up nog and watching my squirrels beat on the picture window because they are out of animal crackers (seriously… I just put corn out today and no animal crackers, so the little tree rats are pitching a fit… I should really take pictures.) But, back to the nog… As I sit here having my nog I am reminded of a story. If I’ve told it before, just throw me a bone – read it again and pretend like you’ve never heard it before…

Many, many, maaaaannnnnnyyy years ago, when I was but a wee author (I used crayons for my stories)… seriously, I was like 7 or 8… we (my sister and I) had this babysitter. Hannah. I wonder whatever happened to Hannah. I had a major “8 year old” crush on her… and, what with her being an older woman… ya’know, like 15 and all… Well, either way, I digress yet again… Bourbon, nostalgia, and hormones… weird combination 🙂

So, back to the “story”… You see, we had some nog in the fridge because it was around the holidays. Mom had told Hannah that she was welcome to have nog, and that so could my sister and I. And, we did… In fact, we drank better than a half gallon between the three of us as I recall.

When my parents came home that afternoon, instead of finding two kids bouncing off the walls and a frazzled babysitter, they found two sleeping kids and a snoozing babysitter.

You see, my mom had mixed up the labeling on the containers. It seems that we had, without our knowledge or any malice aforethought, consumed the bourbon laced nog instead of the “family friendly nog”.

All we knew is that it tasted a bit different, but it still tasted really good… And, of course, it made us feel all warm and tingly. Back then, we attributed it to holiday cheer.

Now that I am older, I understand that holiday cheer comes in a bottle. Now, excuse me while I head back to the kitchen for a refill.

More to come…

Murv

* Can’t Remember Shit syndrome

(Oh, and yeah, I stole your footnote idea there, Anastasia ;p )

Real questions, real answers (Note that I did NOT say real good answers…)

1) I want to say that your descriptions of paranormal experiences are amazing. How do you visualize the physical experiences so acutely?

I actually responded to this one via email a while back, but I fear I may have misunderstood the question. I went into some depth about my enlisting my wife in acting out various scenarios from the books as I write them. In particular, and I don’t want to give anything away, but for those of you who have read Love Is The Bond do you remember that scene with Rowan and Felicity on the convenience store parking lot? Well, let’s just say we raised a few eyebrows acting that out in our driveway. Why did we act out that scene in the first place? Simple– so I would know what Rowan could see from various positions, what Felicity could see and was capable of accomplishing, and exactly how to describe what was going on.

However, I digress as usual…

In retrospect the young lady may have wanted to know how I visualize the physical effects of the paranormal experiences my protagonist experiences. If that is the case, then she probably thinks I’m a big, flaming idiot at this point for not actually answering the question she asked.

So, if her question was the one I didn’t answer, here it is for all to see: I fake it.

Actually, I suppose I am serious about that to an extent. I pretty much just operate on a set of basic assumptions then extrapolate from there. At any rate, I guess it is working.

The next few questions actually came from a High School student who is doing a book report on Harm None. I emailed my responses to him, but was impressed with several of his questions and thought others might like to hear the answers as well, so I thought I would add them to the FAQ.

2) Was Harm None your first idea for a book? If not, what was your first idea?

Well, it wasn’t my first idea for a book, no. Like most authors I have a filing cabinet full of manuscripts that have never, and probably will never, see the light of day. When I was much younger– actually in High School younger– I wrote quite a large amount of science fiction and was fortunate enough to have a few short stories published in some small genre magazines of the day. To follow through with your question, my first idea for a book was a novella length “space opera” that I set to paper. Unfortunately, a lack of life experience and an overabundance of teenage angst (and hormones) made it an exercise in futility. However, I wouldn’t trade having done it for the world. The process of writing it– no matter how “bad” it turned out– taught me much.

3) Why did you choose to have the setting of the book to be the same as where you live?

That’s simple. We write that with which we are familiar, or can become easily familiar. While I do an enormous amount of research into such things as police procedure, forensics, alternative religions, psychology, etc, there are some things you just can’t get from a textbook. Setting my series in the city where I live allows me to go out, get in my truck, and drive to a location easily and cheaply (well, with gas prices the way they are…but still, it is cheaper than a plane ticket). In doing that I can then clearly describe the nuances of that setting, and be accurate about it as well. It also lends to what is known as “suspension of disbelief”. Remember, some of the elements of my books are slightly over the top, however, if I have lulled you into a world of false reality with my attention to true detail, then you will more readilly accept the oddities I slip in under the radar, so to speak.

Note: Like it says in the front of the books, I do take some liberties with the lay of the land in St. Louis. I actually have changed the names of several parks and municipalities just to be on the safe side. Also, one of the most notable “fictions” is the coffee shop across the street from police headquarters downtown. It doesn’t actually exist. However, I wanted one there in my books so I annexed (via Literary Eminent Domain) a portion of the City Hall parking lot and built a coffee shop there.

4) How long did it take you to write this book (Harm None)?

Start to finish, including research time (interviewing, reading texts, riding with local law enforcement, etc) I write, initially revise, and rewrite a 100k – 120K word Rowan Gant Novel in right around 6 months, give or take a few weeks. It usually takes another 30-60 days of me arguing and pitching fits with my editor (well, not really, but we don’t ALWAYS agree), in order to get any of the publisher mandated changes done or rewrites completed. After that it’s time to start another one (if I haven’t already.)

5) Where were you when you wrote the majority of this book (Harm None)? i.e. coffee house, home, poetry cafe…

The bulk of my writing is done in my office at home. Back then I was working a full time job (other than being an author) so my writing was done primarily on weekends and evenings. Now, I actually must set aside time from my touring schedule to write. However, if I happen to be running behind on a deadline, my notebook computer sees action on airplanes and in hotel rooms (even while I am waiting for my daughter to get out of her “College for Kids” classes.) Still, Harm None itself was written, in its entirety, in my office at home. (The computer it was written on, however, has long since gone to the electronics scrap heap in the sky.)

6) Do you have any advice for the students of my class?

“Wear sunscreen”

If you have not yet heard that song, ask your teacher as I am sure she or he has. If not, look it up on the Internet and listen to it, or read the lyrics (use the link above).

After you are done chuckling and saying “yeah, right, that won’t apply to me,” listen to/read it again and take it to heart. All of it. I couldn’t give any better advice if I tried for the rest of my life. Trust me, I’ve already lived much of what the man says.

Okay, that’s it for this go around. I have much more writing to do so I may be scarce for a bit!

MR / a.k.a. Murv