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  • This Space NOT For Rent…

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    I’m going to break my own rule again. Yeah, for real…

    No, I’m not going to defy The Evil Redhead. That’s not “breaking a rule,” that’s “committing suicide.” Really. Just try it and see what happens.

    So… Anyway… Back to breaking that rule. As you all know I despise writing about writing. I’m not even a big fan of writing about being an author. That’s what the book writing thing is all about. This, on the other hand, is my shot at being a humor columnist for a major metropolitan newspaper. Not that any major metropolitan newspapers are taking notice, mind you…

    Yeah… That’s the rule I’m going to break. Well… Bend, more or less. I’m going to write about writing. Or more specifically, about what happens when you’ve written something and it gets published.

    You see, there’s this thing in the industry called BSSP. That stands for Blatant Shameless Self-Promotion.  Now this differs a bit from SP, which is just Self-Promotion. Why? Because those of us who engage in SP are ashamed. Well, not really. But we DO make it a point to show restraint, courtesy, and manners. Self-promotion is necessary. However, being like a cracked up used car salesman about it is not.

    Allow me to give you an example…

    Let’s say I’m having a conversation with someone:

    Random Person says: “I had a really great corned beef sandwich at Bob’s Deli the other day.”

    Murv says: “Never been there. I’ll have to take EK. She really loves corned beef.”

    Now, let us imagine this conversation with a new author who has been bitten by the BSSP bug:

    Random Person says: “I had a really great corned beef sandwich at Bob’s Deli the other day.”

    BSSP Newbie says: “Well, since you like corned beef then you would love my new novel, The Pickling Brine Murders, because my main character Lazarus Q. Ladysmith always has corned beef sandwiches for lunch.”

    Believe it or not, while the book and character name have been changed, the above example is NOT an exaggeration. Yes. Not only did it happen, but this sort of thing happens all the time.

    Now I’ll be honest. We were all new once. I’m sure I did some self-promoting that toed that line just a bit – although I can guarantee you I was never as bad as the example. Fortunately, I settled down pretty quickly. Like I said before, self-promotion is a necessary evil. But if you pay attention you discover that you can be much more effective by selling yourself – not the book. Once you’ve done that, folks will generally buy your book. If you keep being an idiot, however, they will not only NOT buy your book, they will tell everyone they know to NOT buy it as well.

    So… Why is this blog entry called “This Space NOT For Rent”?

    Simple. The BSSP is happening all over the social networking sites too. On the FB Wall, on the Myspace Comments. It is running rampant. Just the other day I received a friend request from another author I’d never met and didn’t know from Eve. I approved it, no biggie. Less than 24 hours later a post appeared on my wall. It said, “Congratulations on your success! You deserve it!” I found these opening sentences a bit odd, because since we didn’t know one another she had no clue whether I deserved my successes or not. For all she knew I could be a complete ass.

    In fact, I guess I am a complete ass because I removed the post and deleted her as a friend. Why? Because as I said, that was just the opening two sentences. The rest of her post contained several paragraphs about her new book along with links to the places where I could buy it. There was even a picture of the book cover.

    Sorry honey. I am not a billboard company. This space not for rent…

    More to come…

    Murv

  • You Asked For It…

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    Evil Kat says, "Come here so I can beat you..."
    Yeah… That’s usually what E K says right about the time she is stomping on my head, or slapping me around with a frying pan. It usually comes on the heels of her saying, “You’re really ASKING for it!” Next thing I know I’m on the floor, flat on my back, with her standing on my chest screaming, yeah, you guessed it, “You ASKED for it!”

    (In all honesty I probably did, but that’s not the point…)

    However, let’s get back to this asking thing, because this time “You Asked For It” isn’t all about a beatdown from The Redhead. In this case it actually pertains to a goodly number of you folks who are regular readers of Brainpan Leakage. You see, over the years I have engaged in that widely used guerrilla marketing tactic known as “branded swag”… You know, logoed / embossed apparel, coffee mugs, etc, just like you get from corporate vendors every Christmas. Yeah, that sort of stuff. Only mine is way cooler than the stuff you get from some random widget company…

    MUG FREEFELICITY

    So, anyway, throughout the years folks have been pretty excited about such things as the Miranda and Free Felicity Tee-Shirts, Coffee Mugs with various quotes from the RGI characters, and other such sundries. However, for the past year or so I haven’t been putting any of that stuff out there. Apparently this has been an issue for quite a few folks, because in recent months not only have I been receiving a major load of email asking where and/or when such items as listed above can be obtained, but there have been a ton of requests for Brainpan Leakage Swag… Most notably Evil Kat Brainpan Leakage Swag. It seems a lot of you ladies seriously identify with her and some of you men want to… well… let me just say, “Back off, dudes. She’s mine.” (Well…actually, I’m hers, but that’s just a matter of semantics… Don’t tell her I said that, okay?)…

    Besides, she will hurt you… Like blow your deductible out of the water hurt you… I mean it… We’re seriously talking you’d better have AFLAC kind of hurt you…

    Of course, if you want a Tee-Shirt with The Evil Redhead on it, I can live with that. (And, so can you because you will still be able to function in daily life without the aid of medical equipment and round the clock care.)

    MIRANDA
    PROPERTYOFEVILKAT

    But seriously… I really and truly have had a ton of requests for more Swag and especially E K Swag.

    ITTAKESAWITCH So, since many of you asked for it, I worked out a deal with On The Edge Graphics, the crew that creates the killer posters and advertising stuff for my books, and the folks responsible for some of the artwork on the early RGI Swag. Between my own limited artistic ability and their superior talent, some new Swag has been born and they have set up an official web store. Since demand doesn’t always translate into sales, this is being done through Cafepress much like I used to do it, however the markups are minimal. Basically, just enough to cover expenses AND allow a charitable donation to a wildlife / conservation organization of E Kay’s choice from a portion of the proceeds on anything bearing her signature or caricatured likeness. NOFLYZONE

    As of this writing, the store is still being set up, “stocked”, and all that jazz, however, it is officially open. More Swag is coming, and some of the old classics are going to be revamped and re-issued.

    So, there you go:

    On The Edge Graphics Cafepress Store

    …You asked for it, you got it… (Why do I feel like I should be ending that ditty with “Toy-oh-tah!”?)

    More to come…

    Murv