BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I’m officially back in my room for the evening. Opening ceremonies are over and the groups have split off to engage in FRPG’s, MMORPG’s, and the like. Others are exuberantly bouncing around the campus sticking battery powered LED’s to metal rafters by attaching them to magnets and launching them at the ceiling. Have to admit, the student center is pretty colorful right now.

Unfortunately, I just don’t party into the night as well as I used to. All part of that aging thing I suppose. At any rate, here is my evening report from the WillyCon XI Odyssey.

@mrsellars – Noon noms, more good chow. Szechwan chicken stir-fry with lots of veggies and a small spinach salad with some sunflower seeds and beets.

@mrsellars – Wish I could afford to eat this healthy at home.

@mrsellars – Where the hell is my flash drive?

@mrsellars – Dammit… That flash drive has manuscript stuff on it that doesn’t need to be released just yet…

@mrsellars – Shit. Must have lost it when I was walking this morning.

@mrsellars – Walkies… Lookies…Walkies… Lookies… Walkies…

@mrsellars – [Back at room] Well hell… hopefully someone turned it in.

@mrsellars – Hey… What’s this in my coat pocket?

@mrsellars – #fuckme

@mrsellars – Universe is definitely making sure I get that exercise… What next? Am I going to end up shoveling snow?

@mrsellars – Forget I said that… Srsly. Just pretend it never happened.

@mrsellars – Did the big cheese leave a badge for me?

@Con_Registration –  Yeah, Murv. Number 2.

@mrsellars –  No thanks, I did number 2 this morning. I probably need to do a number 1 though.

@Con_Registration – O_o

@mrsellars – [Watching a segment of Omega Man with Charlton Heston] [shakes head] I just can’t watch this without expecting him to say, “Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!”

@Con_Registraton – LOL

@Movie_Watchers – O_o

@mrsellars –  I wonder why that maintenance guy is cleaning that rock with a wire brush?

@mrsellars – Went to campus coffee shop. Business so slow today they didn’t make any more coffee.

@mrsellars – Young lady behind counter made me huge espresso latte thingie for same price. She is now my new best girlfriend.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – [Notices my badge] Are you a speaker for WillyCon?

@mrsellars – Yes. I’m actually the author guest of honor.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

@mrsellars – Yeah.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – What do you write?

@mrsellars – Books.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – O_o [Pause] LOL! No kidding?

@mrsellars – Why would I kid you about that? (grin) But seriously, I write Paranormal Suspense Thrillers.

@New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

@mrsellars – O_o

@mrsellars – Watched part of Logan’s Run. Jenny Agutter was kinda hot.

@mrsellars – E K needs one of those outfits…

@mrsellars – [wistful stare]

@mrsellars – Ahem. Ummm. Need to stop thinking about E K in one of those outfits.

@mrsellars – Watched part of Family Guy Star Wars spoof…

@mrsellars – All kinds of wrong happening on that screen.

@mrsellars – Really liked lightsabre = bug zapper gag. LOL at that one.

@mrsellars – When visual Doctor Who reference happened, excused myself for dinner.

@mrsellars – Not very hungry at dinner, but it was my last chance to eat for the day. Just had a couple of fish sticks , a small scoop of rice, and some coleslaw. Still very good.

@mrsellars – Fruit punch and Sierra Mist. Not bad. Bet a couple of shots of Vodka would make it even better.

@mrsellars – Dry campus.

@mrsellare – Do I really need to use the hashtag at this point? Y’all already know what I’m going to say…

@mrsellars – [mingle] tell stories [mingle] brag about kid [mingle] brag about wife [mingle] re-tell stories and chat [mingle]

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – So, what kind of books do you write?

@mrsellars – Scary shit.

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – Cool. I like scary shit.

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv!

@mrsellars – [looking upward] Hi!

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv, you need to change your Facebook photo.

@mrsellars – [still looking upward] Why?

@Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – No he doesn’t.

@Attendee_on_Balcony – Yes he does… Wait, I’ll come down.

@mrsellars – Okay.

@jeopardy_theme – Do da Do da Do da Dooo, Do da Do da, Doop da do do do do…

@Attendee_from_Balcony – Hi. Nice to meet you.

@mrsellars – Hi. Nice to meet you too.

@Attendee_from_Balcony – So, you need to change your Facebook photo. It makes you look like a dork, and not in a good way.

@mrsellars – O_o

(Note: @Attendee_from_Balcony had some valid points if looked at from her point of view, even though @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl didn’t agree with said points.)

@mrsellars – Heard that weather service is now predicting a possibility of 16 inches of snow starting tomorrow night.

@mrsellars – Have elected to form a survival plan.

@mrsellars – Might be able to find the necessary items in this dorm room to make snow shoes. Maybe even a sled.

@mrsellars – Currently investigating what will be involved with disassembling the bunk beds on the other side of the room in order to begin construction of aforementioned items.

@mrsellars – Heard several dogs barking earlier. Will investigate in the morning in case I need to assemble a sled team in a hurry.

@mrsellars – Side benefit of sled construction: leftovers from bunk bed frame can be used as firewood.

@mrsellars – As of now @skippy_the_squirrel and his friends are considered livestock.

@mrsellars – Will steal salt shakers from cafeteria tomorrow in order to preserve  them.

@mrsellars – Using pages from convention program book to make pattern for squirrel hide snowsuit.

@mrsellars – Just to be safe, presently designing multi-tiered defense system for room. I know what happened with the Donner party, and I ain’t gonna git et.

More to come…

Murv

(Note: If you are reading my blog for the first time please understand that what I post here is not only observational humor, but satirical as well. For the record, the folks at WillyCon are absolutely wonderful, have been a joy to hang out with, and I am having a great time. Really.  And they didn’t even force me say that or anything… 🙂 )

I can’t even mimic Brando at this point…

Not my night? Hell, it ain’t been my week apparently.

If you read my previous blog you know that Momma Nature in all her bitchy glory, sent freezing rain and sleet down upon our heads today. And, as a result, my flight to Detroit was canceled, effectively keeping me from arriving at ConVocation, where I was to sign books, present workshops, and hang out with tons of really cool people.

Well, okay… bad enough… The airline managed to re-book me for a flight early tomorrow morning. All good. Not exactly the most convenient time as far as getting to the airport, etc, but I made the arrangements, left my bags packed and by the door… I was ready.

Well, Mistress Nature is gearing up to give us another ice lashing. She should start in on us again around midnight and continue on through tomorrow evening. Soooooo, in what must have been a preemptive move on the part of the airline, my flight was canceled, yet again…

I just can’t catch a break…

I suppose it was probably a combination of the weather, and accommodating passengers from other flights as well as those already booked prior to all this. Not to mention that for all I know the new flight might have been coming from one of the points East that is now getting beaten by waves 1 and 2 of this storm system.

At any rate, the best they could do is get me to Detroit sometime Saturday. Maybe. If I was lucky, the weather dominatrix sleeps tonight, and if I held my tongue just right while clicking my heels together and saying “There’s no place like Detroit, there’s no place like Detroit…”

I was willing to give that a go, but the problem is this – I would get in sometime Saturday… Maybe morning, maybe afternoon… Maybe even evening… Not really sure. They were shooting for morning, but hey, they were also shooting for today as I recall, and we saw how that turned out… Either way, the event ends by noon on Sunday. So, in essence I would have arrived (maybe) and someone would have had to come pick me up, then get me back to the hotel, check me in, etc, etc… By that time I might be able to mingle for a bit then go to bed, get up, pack, and go to the airport to come home.

The long and short of it… I’m not going to be at ConVocation this year. I’m not happy about it and neither are they. But, we all realize there isn’t much we can do.

So, save your programs. If you see me in the future, I’ll be glad to sign them… Hey, it will be a collectors item. The event I was supposed to be at but never made it to… If you are after one of my books while at the con, they have those there too. Tell Dorothy Morrison I said she could sign them for me.

My next tour date? The Ostara Festival in Harker Heights, Texas… That’s a couple of weeks away yet… Let’s hope the weather bitch is in a better mood by then…

More to come…

Murv