BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

CHECK!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Once is a coincidence. Twice, probably still a coincidence. I can even give you three. But when it keeps happening, uncanny doesn’t even come close.

What am I talking about? Castle.

Now, before anyone takes this the wrong way, I am a big fan of Castle. I’ve made no secret of that, and I even have a Castle T-shirt to prove it. I own the first season on DVD, will own the second, third, etc as each becomes available. I read the first “Nikki Heat” novel one afternoon just for kicks. I will more than likely read the second as well. Again, just for kicks.

However… Saw that coming, didn’t you?

When I first started watching the show I would sit back and marvel at how the character was portrayed. Granted, Nathan Fillion has a lot to do with that, but he also has a script to follow, so it’s not ALL him. What I was marveling at was how closely the character of Richard Castle seemed to mirror my own life in certain respects. Not that I’m ridiculously wealthy or on the NYT Best Seller list. And, while I’m a major flirt, I am not a womanizer. Still, the sarcasm and puns, the arcane knowledge spawned from researching a particular novel, the big kid mentality… Well, let’s just say I found it to be an amusing coincidence. After all, I hang out with a lot of authors – kind of a birds of a feather flock together thing – and while I’ve met a few who act that way to a small extent, never any who are as over the top as I am. Of course, maybe I just haven’t met the right authors.  Who knows?

But then things started getting more and more eerie, and I don’t mean the lake or Pennsylvania either.

Emails started showing up. Just a few at first, from friends and relatives who were watching the show. The occasional, “Did you watch Castle last night? I swear they are writing about you or something!”

I would joke about it and laugh it off, but found it interesting that I wasn’t the only person who noticed the similarities.

However, it wasn’t long before a few emails turned into several, and then several more, with not only friends and relatives writing to me, but fans as well.

“Did you see Castle last night? The writers must read your books or something!”

“Dude! Are you being followed by the writers for Castle?”

“I swear the writers for Castle have your house bugged!”

“Are you writing for Castle?”

“When did you start writing for Castle?”

And,  I could just keep going on and on…

In the back of my head, I had been wondering some of the same things…

After all, the story arcs were taking some interesting and familiar twists:

A killer dominatrix…

A vodoun priestess…

Wiccan and pagan references…

And plenty more…

But let’s face it, I don’t own the market on ideas. Just because I did them in my books long before Castle was ever conceived doesn’t mean a thing. And, I mean that seriously.

Then some of their marketing vids starting doing some weird things… Like Fillion as Castle stating the Fillion owed him 50 bucks. Okay… so I didn’t coin the “so and so owes me 50 bucks” quip, but I’d been saying  it (jokingly) about Fillion (and tweeting it) for literally more than a year, along with my also joking contention that he was secretly using me as his “model” for the character of Richard Castle.

Things that make you go “hmmm,” know what I mean?

Of course, it just doesn’t seem to end there.

Some time back I was chatting with some folks about the show. When asked what I thought of it, I prattled endlessly about the wonderfulness that is Castle. However, being an author I also pointed out that there were issues – as there were with any TV show. Things like their police procedure being off – not that I’m an expert, but I do research procedure for my books through my friends and contacts I’ve cultivated within various law enforcement agencies from local to national.

One of the things I mentioned was that Detective Kate Beckett generally pranced around each episode in heels. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no issue with seeing Stana Katic in stilettos, although I’d much prefer it be E K and not Katic. We’ve already established that I’m a leg guy, and high heels are an exciting accoutrement to said proclivity. But let’s not digress or I’ll need some alone time. My point is, I mentioned that no cop in her right mind would be wearing stilettos on the job. So, what happens? Someone points out to Beckett during the most recent episode that her shoes are a bit impractical for police work.

Coincidence? Yeah… Most likely. I mean, it’s an obvious thing. But with everything else that’s been going on it’s… well… a thing that makes you go hmmmm…

Then there’s the fact that I have wondered aloud about the allure of the “Steampunk” genre… Now, an upcoming episode of Castle is featuring “Steampunk.” Again, most likely coincidence… After all, Steampunk seems to be a big thing these days.

So… In the grand scheme of things, just what is it I’m trying to say?

I don’t really know. All I can tell you is that too many coincidences add up to something pretty weird. So, here’s the thing…

If the writers of Castle happen across this blog – who knows, they might be subscribers – do me a favor and throw me a bone. I may be a best seller in the small press world, but in the overall authoring world I’m just a mid-lister. Since you’re paralleling my personna – and my story lines, and my characters, and my tweets, and my panels at cons, etc – even if it is probably utter, uncanny coincidence, have Rick Castle mention my name. Have him call me for advice or something on occasion. I don’t even have to be on the phone – you can easily write a one-sided conversation. Have a couple of my books laying on a desk. Something… I could use the publicity…

I’m NOT asking for a guest appearance – although I wouldn’t turn one down. Of course, I’m not “ruggedly handsome” so I’m sure that would be out of the question anyway. No biggie.

But come on guys… The Rick Castle personality has been MY schtick for better than a decade. HOWEVER, at the most recent convention appearance I did I was actually accused of trying to imitate him by someone who had not yet been introduced to my work.

And, you know, it’s kind of annoying to be accused of trying to imitate yourself. Especially when all of the coincidences point to it being the other way around…

More to come…

Murv

OSMOSIS [oz-moh-sis, os-] – noun – a subtle or gradual absorption or mingling.

We all learned about it in High School biology… Hell, we probably even learned about it in grade school science. I mean, I’m relatively certain I knew the word and its meaning by the 3rd grade myself. But then, that’s me…

The point here is that we’ve all heard about osmosis. We pretty much know what it is – whether it’s an amoeba eating a dead paramecium, or the way your home water filter works to remove chemicals from tap water. It’s a process that occurs in nature, and can be applied to many things. But, I’m sorry to say, learning is not one of them.

Now, while I will not deny that we “pick up” things from being around people, situations, or the like, we do NOT soak up all knowledge and experience on a subject simply because we come into contact with it. Some, yes. All of it, no.

So, what am I on about?

Well, you see, it’s like this… Several years ago I had a gal contact me on Myspace. Why she sent a friend request, I have no idea. But, she did. I accepted and next thing you know she started messaging me. Given that she was a self-described “former adult model turned Barbie soccer mom” or some such, I was wary. Still, we chatted a bit and it seemed to be all cool. No weirdness, no invites to go see nekkid pics, no “help me put a hex on my neighbor” kind of crap. Although, from the tone of her messages I had the impression she might have been a bit of a  “collector,” and by that I mean “celebrity collector.” While I don’t consider myself a celebrity by any stretch of the imagination, sometimes people see that profession of “Author” and assume such. Well, soon she informed me that she was going to rush right out and find one of my books to read.

Okay. Good deal. That’s the idea behind me being on social networking sites to begin with – generate new readers.  Apparently, it was working.

A couple of weeks went by and she contacted me again. She had procured a copy of Harm None and read it. Her message told me that she enjoyed it, BUT that she wanted to let me know that it was completely unrealistic because Rowan would have never been allowed to consult on a murder investigation.  She knew this because her father was a retired cop. And,  because of that little factoid she could detail for me, step by step, police procedure from the ground up. She had learned it all by osmosis. She then proceeded to tell me all manner of things that didn’t gibe in any way shape or form with the things that the actual, badge-wearing, gun-toting, crime-solving/preventing cops who are my friends had told me.

Go figure. During the osmosis I’m guessing that a few things got caught in the semi-permeable membrane through which all the knowledge was passing.

Okay… Let’s forget for just a moment here that the book is FICTION.

Her father was a retired cop. Not her. Her father. Again, not her.

She had never been a cop, completely unlike the cops I know who are actually accredited law enforcement officers and whom I consult about various procedures as previously noted. Nope. She wasn’t, nor had she ever been, one of them.

She was an ex adult model barbie soccer mom  something or another.

However, because her father was a retired cop she automatically knew everything there was to know about being a cop, police procedure, etc. Apparently, while at work, her father had some manner of psychic connection with her that allowed everything he knew about his job to automatically flow into her head. She didn’t actually say that, but it’s about the only thing I can imagine, because all of the cops I know don’t discuss their jobs at home all that much – especially with their kids.

Yet, because her father was a retired cop, she KNEW everything…

I realize I’m dwelling on that a bit, but I’m simply trying to make a point here. It’s pretty much as if she lived in a Holiday Inn Express, if you know what I mean. (Gratuitous stupid TV commercial reference, yes…)

So anyway, I told her, “Thanks. By the way, would you like for me to explain to you how to build an F-15 Fighter Jet?”

“How do you know how to do that?” she asked.

“Easy,” I replied. “MY father wasn’t a cop. He was a schedule planner for McDonnell-Douglas and he worked on the F-15 project. Therefore, I should be able to tell you the ins and outs of how to build one, don’tcha think?”

She didn’t find this particularly amusing. I, however, thought it was hilarious.

And so, the moral of the story is this: This ain’t your father’s diffusion of fluids through membranes or porous partitions, so quit acting like you somehow inherited his brain through your DNA or something.

OR

Stick to what you really know, not what you think you know. You’re less likely to make a fool of yourself that way.

However, if in the future I happen to have an “ex adult model turned soccer mom” as a character in a book, I know exactly who to call…

More to come…

Murv