BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I happen to be a big fan of Father Guido Sarducci.  One of my favorite stories of his involves Carr-dih-naal-uh Foon-gee… The story is funny, but the name is downright hilarious.

Well, that’s not what this is about. I know, never is…

You see, when you have a really demanding redhead in your life – yes, E K – and you have to cook for her, you tend to start getting creative. ESPECIALLY when she decides that she, her personal doormat (that being moi), and everyone else entering the hallowed halls of La Casa de la Pelirrojas will be going 80% vegetarian.

I say 80% because in order to keep up the strength in her whip arm, she does like to have some fish or fowl now and then. And, on special occasions she likes a piece of dead cow. But as I said, those would be the special occasions…

And so, this is where I get Czar Foon-Gee. You see, Her Supreme Evilness is a fan of Beef Stroganoff. However, if you are trying to be mostly, sorta, 80% vegetarian, heaping a mess of dead, floured, fried, and braised Moo on your plate really isn’t the way to go.

So, as I was taking my daily beating from the evil redhead, for whatever infraction I had, or had not, perpetrated that day, I got to thinking – how can I whomp up some non-beef beef stroganoff?

Well, there are several ways to go about it, but since a good hunk of the recipe already revolves around fungus – that being mushrooms, of course – I thought, why not build upon that.

And so, I did…

CZAR FOON-GEE

(Mushroom Stroganhoff To Feed The Evil Redhead – Serves 6-8)

Not the best pic... This was a trial run and was missing the oyster mushrooms, plus I only had regular egg noodles on hand that day...

Ingredients

• 2 Large Portobello Mushrooms
• 8 ounces Crimini Mushrooms
• 8 ounces Oyster Mushrooms
• 1 Large Zucchini Squash
• 1 Small Vidalia Onion
• 4 ounces butter
• 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 Cup Vegetable Stock (Preferably Homemade)
• 1 Tbsp Tomato Paste
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/3 cup white wine
• salt to taste
• ground black pepper to taste
• Olive oil

I love me some Cracker Barrel. I’ve never made a secret of that.

Whenever I’m on a driving book tour, Cracker Barrel is my number one choice for a quick meal. The Country Boy Breakfast can’t be beat, and if I’m in a hurry, the Chicken ‘n Dumplings are always hot and ready to go. There’s a song by one of my all time favorite bands, Styx, called Music Time. One of the lines says, “I like fast food, the burgers always taste the same.”

Well, that’s one of the great things about Cracker Barrel. They have those Chicken ‘n Dumplings down to a science, and they always taste the same no matter where you are in the country.

But The Redhead isn’t a big Cracker Barrel fan. It’s not that she dislikes it. It’s more that she has her own favorite, that being Arby’s. Why Arby’s? Definitely not for the roast beef, I’m here to tell you.

Nope… Fact is, Her Supreme Leather Clad Goddessness-ness is all about the Market Fresh Pecan Chicken Salad Wrap. So, whenever we are on the road together – she has her Evil Appearances ya’know – she dictates the meal stops, and if it has to be fast and can’t be a local cuisine type of bistro, her choice is almost always Arby’s.

Therefore, in keeping with the theme of Thanksgiving leftovers and feeding The Evil One, we have another recipe…

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MISTRESS KAT’S FAVORITE TURKEY SALAD

Makes enough to feed “Satan in High Heels” for around 1 week of lunches. Adjust quantities as necessary.

INGREDIENTS:

DIRECTIONS:

More to come…

Murv