BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

It can be a little disconcerting to see your wife jump out of a helicopter and into a river. But then, there’s very little that isn’t disconcerting about Her Supreme Evilness. Take for instance the fact that she isn’t who she says she is.

Hell… She isn’t even who she thought she was.

I suppose that sort of comes with the territory, though. I mean, when you are trained by a covert government organization such as the KGB – which actually stands for Kill Goddamned Bugs, by the way – and then put into place as a sleeper agent for RAID with a code name of Evil… Well, let’s just say there can be some identity issues.

Of course, oddly enough, she embraced the Evil part right out of the gate. I mean, as in even before she was “activated.” Probably has something to do with the red hair.

But anyway… The truth came out as soon as the Japanese Beetles showed up. Next thing you know E K was extracting venom from spiders, riding around on buses, blowing up funerals, shooting up the general area, killing off various exterminators, and infiltrating the corporate offices of nationwide pest control companies in search of the launch codes for their arsenal of ICPM’s (Intra-Continental Pyrethrin Missiles).

However, like I said, the last time I saw her she was jumping out of a helicopter. Apparently there are “many more” rogue beetles remaining in the U.S. and Evil is on a revenge binge…

More to come…

Murv

Plot, Poster, and Tagline parodied from SALT (2010)

With a title like that to start this off I can imagine you might be thinking, “Oh no, not another End Of Days blog. Has Sellars bought into the whole end of the world prophecy nonsense all because of a earthquake?”

Come on… You know me better than that.

However, could we be talking about the end of something else? Because of the changes in tech, newspapers are folding everywhere, and I don’t mean just so they can be laid upon a table. Columnists are penning their farewell letters for page 7D – or 2A, 6F, ad nauseum – as they retire, or go in search of different outlets for their creativity. In some cases though I have to wonder if it is more that they have just run out of things to say.

I’ve been blogging, twice weekly, here on Brainpan Leakage for several years now. It began sporadically, often times just being announcements about where I would be on book tours or something of that sort. Then it grew into a public debriefing about the places I’d been on said travels. Before long it turned into a regular “column,” so to speak. A venting of my woes, a story from my past, a story from my future – those were always the hardest to write. And yes, an occasional blip about where I would be, where I had been, or special sale on books about which I had been made aware.

But now, sitting here this morning, I have to wonder… Is this the end? Blogging takes work. It takes energy. It takes time. Over the years I cannot say that I have been able to measure any appreciable gain in book sales because of my blogging, so what does it get me? I haven’t received any awards (the kind with cash prizes attached, I mean). No movie deals… No television deals… Not even a bag of Cheezy Poofs or Snacky Cakes…

Moreover, sex certainly has not been any better because of it (of course, that’s a whole ‘nother blog, and by that, I don’t mean blog entry, I mean whole ‘nother blog and it would definitely be NSFW, but I digress…)

So with all of that in mind, why go on? Perhaps it is time time to plug the leak and skulk back off into the sunset… Maybe, just maybe, I’ve said all I’ve had to say. Perhaps there’s nothing left in my noggin’ that is funny, poignant, or even blog worthy.

Or… I suppose it could just be that I have a really wicked sinus headache this morning…

More to come…

Murv