BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

It’s true. I’m short. Even shorter when my wife wears heels, but that’s a different story…

I’m in the running for a “Shorty Award” – Sort of a big deal, most interesting folks on twitter type of thing. Not just some silly graphic for your blog, either. This is an actual, engraved, lucite statue sort of thing with the fail whale on it and everything. Presented in New York of all places. I actually hate New York. Well, maybe hate is too strong a word. I don’t like DRIVING in New York. I have stories. They aren’t good. But that’s beside the point.

Thing is, I’m in the running (for the moment) in the Author category. I know I can’t win, because Neil Gaiman is in the running too and he has 1.5 million followers. Well… 1.49999 million followers, because I’m sure as hell not voting for him. Plus, Richard Castle, an author who doesn’t really exist is on there too. However, I really think I should be ahead of the “Horny Housewife” and J. K. “More Money Than God” Rowling.

I mean, come on… I’m interesting, right?

So, if you have an active twitter account, I’d appreciated it if you’d vote for me. I haven’t had an opportunity to wear a tux in a while and I look damn good in one. Just ask my wife…

Follow the link below, and don’t forget to add a “reason” after the “because…” or your vote won’t count.

Thank you. I mean that. Seriously. Why would I lie?

More to come…

(Really. You haven’t heard the end of this…)

Murv

My recent trip to Massachusetts to speak and sign at the SEMA PPD (Southeastern Mass Pagan Pride Day) falls into my favorite category. That being, it was a great event. There were plenty of wonderful folks, good conversations, hanging out, and excellent food as well. And, I even signed a gazillion books – gotta love that.

Of course, whenever I go on the road, even if the event is great and… well… UN-eventful… there’s always something to keep me entertained along the way – usually to and from.

So, for those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter, this is going to be redundant.  However, since there are many of my blog readers who don’t do the Twitter and Facebook thing, here, in a nutshell, is the round trip as told to my Twitter account via my cell phone. I’ll warn you up front. It’s not all that exciting…

SATURDAY

Travel Day One – Getting There From Here

Saturday 9/11 10:08AM – At Lambert STL. Busier than a whore house on dollar day. TSA Agents FASCINATED with my I <heart> EK t-shirt. O_o

Saturday 9/11 10:25AM – Almost missing those lost LBs. Took off belt for security and britches were around my knees by the time I was thru the metal detector O_O

Saturday 9/11 11:24AM – On airplane. Wheeeee!

Saturday 9/11 1:22PM – Layover BWI. Maybe I’ll see Duff and the gang…

Saturday 9/11 2:30PM – On board another air fly thingy. I’m like, YO! WEEEEEE!

Saturday 9/11 4:01PM – As a rule women make way better pilots than men. True story

Saturday 9/11 4:23PM – On ground Providence, RI. Yo! Weeeee!

Saturday 9/11 5:59PM – At the hotel. Nice room. Gang coming to pick me up for dinner at around 7:30…

Saturday 9/11 8:33PM – Dinner roundup: FRESH fish and scallops… Mmmmmmmmmm… :-P~~~~~

Saturday 9/11 8:48PM – Lost an hour today (slow damn airplane)… Gotta turn into M. R. Sellars tomorrow morning around 9… Thinking it just might be “Jammie Time”

Saturday 9/11 9:05PM – Okay… Grabbing a book and jumping into the sack. I’ll check in tomorrow morning over coffee… The maker is right here on the desk (WooHoo!)

SUNDAY

Event Day

Sunday 9/12 4:59AM – Okay, you silly whackos… I’m up. Hotel coffee cooked. It’s not DDC, but it’s definitely drinkable…

Sunday 9/12 5:26AM – Waking up just isn’t as much fun without Kat Sellars here…

Sunday 9/12 6:28AM – Clean and shiny… Even squirted on some smelly good so I won’t schteenk too badly… Now having some more coffee and diddling about on Facebook while considering heading downstairs for some breakfast…

Sunday 9/12 6:35AM – Hmmmm… Not used to that much fried food all in one place at the same time… Last night’s dinner has me feeling slightly bloaty this morning… Still better go see what’s for breakfast. Long time till lunch… O_o

Sunday 9/12 7:03AM – Hard boiled egg, a self-nukeified miniature ham & cheese quiche (never did find the ham in it), a fruit cup, and some OJ… That “oughta” hold me for a bit.

Sunday 9/12 7:07AM – Why do all of the “expert” commentators on FOX look like they’ve had botched facelifts and then lost a fight with Merle Norman?

Sunday 9/12 7:59AM – I’m not waitin’ on a lay-dayy, I’m just waitin’ on my ride… I’m just waitin’ on my ride. Do do do doo dop dee do. Do do…

Sunday 9/12 8:57AM – The Weather Channel LIED!

Sunday 9/12 10:47AM – First workshop done. Plenty of hopeful writers in attendance. Great questions

Sunday 9/12 11:10AM – Minor crisis averted – Yes, folks, I found the little authors room, weee! (Literally)

Sunday 9/12 11:38AM – Lunch: AMAZING Morrocan stew, and the cook gave me her secret recipe

Sunday 9/12 1:52pM – Booksigning rule #1 – Slow at your table? Put food in your mouth and that’ll change

Sunday 9/12 3:55pM – SIGN… SIGN… SIGN… Writer’s cramp!

Sunday 9/12 4:06pM – WHAT? WHAT? SPEAK UP! (Metal band closing out the festival – but I have coffee and cheesecake, so it’s all good.) 😀

Sunday 9/12 8:01pM – Back to the hotel. Great dinner of fish & chips at a local diner ala Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. Fieri would’ve said, “Now that’s money right there.” Now working on packing. They’ll be here to shuttle me back to the air-fly-thingy place bright & early.

Sunday 9/12 8:15pM – So… How’d y’all like the periodic SMS updates? Should I keep that as part of my regimen, or no?

Sunday 9/12 8:55pM – Okay, that’s all the schnitzengruebers I can take… I’ll be up early enough to annoy everyone before they come take me to the airport. G’night all…

Monday

Travel Day Two – Homeward Bound

Monday 9/13 5:22AM – Almost finished with the packing. Swilling some hotel coffee and thinking about spending some time in that little room with the water that sprays out of the nozzle on the wall. What a concept… Sure beats a garden hose. I gotta see if I can have me one of these deals installed at the house.

Monday 9/13 6:34AM – Just called the Evil Redhead to make sure she was up and moving. I got the distinct impression she likes her daily “wake up back massage” a WHOLE LOT MORE than the aforementioned “wake up phone call”…

Monday 9/13 9:32AM – At Providence air fly place wearing EK recycles tee. TSA afraid of Evil Kat. They promise to recycle so that she won’t hurt them.

Monday 9/13 12:56PM – On ground Orlando, FL. Might have to resuscitate woman in seat behind me. She talked non-stop for 3 hours without taking a breath.

Monday 9/13 1:00PM – Just showed hi-pressure salesman my appendectomy scar & told him EK did it to me with a hi-heel the last time I spent money w/o permission

Monday 9/13 1:15PM – Orlando air fly place dining: Chef salad, heavy on the salad, LIGHT on the “chef”. Got my roughage for the day

Monday 9/13 2:00PM – On board air fly machine. M R go home…

Monday 9/13 5:30PM – I’M HOME! I’M HOME! Well… STL anyway. Redhead might leave me standing here at the East terminal. She’s mean like that.

*     *     *     *     *

And, there you have it… Murv on tour. Next stop, Ohio…

You never know… He might even come to your town.

More to come…

Murv