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  • Kat Food…

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    As you are all well aware, E K  and I celebrated our 22nd anniversary on Halloween this year. Many of you already know there is a long and involved story behind the courtship, wedding, and our forgetting that costumed kiddies would be knocking on our door during the ceremony – the ceremony and reception were both held at our house. For those of you who may be new to this blog, you can read about it here (if you so desire) – The Mahwage Blogs

    The other thing you long time readers know is that I am the cook in the family and that the kitchen is my domain. On our anniversary we usually go out for dinner, but sometimes circumstances dictate that we stay in for the evening. Such was the case on this recent Halloween 2009.

    But, stay in or no, we are talking about Evil Kat here and a celebration of my 22 years of indentured servitude to her redheaded evilness, so obviously dinner needed to be something special or terrible and horrible things would happen to me.

    So, I fixed a dinner fit for an Evil Redhead and all was good. After said meal,  being ecstatic that I would live to see another day, I posted the following Facebook status update:

    FB Status

    Much to my surprise comments were flying left and right with folks jokingly begging invites to my house. However, among the comments were also requests for the recipes, and one of them came from Reverend Alicia Lyon Folberth who wanted to know if she could include them in an upcoming cookbook being produced for her temple.

    Since many of my dishes are created spur of the moment, I didn’t necessarily have a recipe at hand and wasn’t quite sure where to start, especially since a good portion of this particular meal relies simply on knowing how to cook a steak. However, after ruminating a bit I managed to jog my memory enough put something on paper for her. And, since there were many others who won’t have access to the cookbook proper, I thought maybe I’d post the recipes here.

    Besides, if her supreme evilness decides she wants this again I might need to refresh my memory with my own blog…

    E Kay’s 22nd Anniversary Dinner

    Irish Whisky Marinated Ribeye Steaks with Crab, Feta, and Herb Butter
    Grilled Vodka-Lime Portabello Mushrooms
    Steamed Broccoli

    (Serves 2 – adjust ingredients as needed for larger group)

    INGREDIENTS:

    2 Good Quality Trimmed Ribeye Steaks – I prefer Black Angus, dry aged

    2 Large Portabello Mushrooms

    1 Large Head Fresh Broccoli

    1 6 oz Can Lump Crabmeat (Unless you have access to fresh)

    1 4 oz Container Crumbled Feta Cheese

    1 Large Head of Garlic

    Sun Dried Tomatoes

    1 Fresh Lime

    ¼ Lb Sweet Cream Butter (1 Stick)

    2 Tbsp Sweet Cream Butter

    Olive Oil

    Worcestershire

    Vodka

    Pepper Vodka (Optional)

    Bushmills Irish Whiskey

    Dark Brown Sugar

    Salt

    Pepper

    Paprika

    Basil (Dried)

    Onion Powder

    INITIAL PREPARATION:

    The following should be done 2 to 3 hours prior to cooking

    For The Crab-Feta Mixture –

    Soften ¼ Lb (1 stick) butter. Drain crabmeat and place in bowl with softened butter and 4 ounces of crumbled feta cheese. Add dried basil, 2 minced garlic cloves, 1 Tbsp minced sun dried tomatoes. Mix until fully incorporated. Refrigerate.

    For The Portabello Mushrooms –

    Remove stems and gills from mushrooms. Clean and rinse in cold water. Pat dry. Place in bowl. Add juice of one lime, 2 minced garlic cloves, and ¼ cup olive oil to cup and mix well. Pour over mushrooms, seal bowl and refrigerate.

    For The Broccoli –

    Rinse, chop into florets, peel and chop stem. Rinse again, drain, refrigerate.

    For The Ribeye Steaks –

    How far ahead you do this step is entirely dependent upon the level of flavor you are seeking from the whisky marinade. I suggest 3 hours, however, I have done it at 30 minutes for a milder flavor or even as long as 8 hours for a stronger flavor.

    Mix 3 Tbsp dark brown sugar with 4 ounces Bushmills Irish Whisky. If necessary, microwave for 10 – 15 seconds in order to gently warm and fully dissolve sugar. Place steaks in a shallow dish and Spoon one fourth of the mixture over steaks. Flip steaks and spoon another one fourth of the mixture over them. Reserve remaining Whisky marinade. Cover and refrigerate steaks unless you are going to be cooking them right away.

    COOKING:

    Remove all items from refrigerator 30 to 45 minutes prior to cooking.

    Place broccoli in steamer basket and steam in covered pan with 2-3 inches of water. OPTIONAL: Add an ounce of pepper vodka to the water as well. Melt 2 Tbsp butter. When finished steaming, drizzle broccoli with melted butter, salt and pepper to taste.

    Heat a grill pan or stainless steel skillet and add 2 to 3 tablespoons olive oil. Using tongs, sear mushrooms in hot oil, approximately 5-7 minutes per side. Remove mushrooms to shallow dish. To the hot skillet add remaining marinade from bowl and 2 ounces vodka. Deglaze pan. Allow to reduce by ¼ and pour over mushrooms.

    30 minutes prior to cooking drizzle both sides of ribeye steaks with Worcestershire. Season liberally with onion powder and paprika. Salt and pepper to taste. Drizzle with remaining whisky marinade. Preheat Oven to 500 degrees or use broiler if you prefer.

    Quickly sear steaks in cast iron or all metal skillet, approximately 3 minutes per side. In the center of each place a generous dollop of the crab-feta-butter mixture. Place skillet in oven or broiler and cook to desired level of doneness.

    Allow steaks to rest 5 minutes before serving.

    Quickly, while meat is resting, separate oil and grease from the liquid in the skillet (I have a separator cup I use). Discard grease and oil. Place skillet over high heat, return juices and 1 ounce bushmills to pan and deglaze. Reduce by ½ and pour over steaks immediately before serving.

    Notes:

    Multitasking is a pre-requisite, as you will end up doing all of the above simultaneously.

    Mix tall vodka tonic with twist of lime for your spouse and one for yourself.

    Eat your dinner.

    Clean up kitchen.

    Hand out candy to trick or treaters while working jigsaw puzzle with wife and daughter.

    Have pre-purchased Ben ‘n Jerry’s for dessert.

    You will likely have some of the crab-feta-butter mixture left. I generally will use it for a crostini or on crackers.

    More to come…

    Murv

  • When Good Sayings Go Bad Ver. 1.0…

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    I’m calling this Version 1.0 because I have a sneaking suspicion that as my brainpan continues to leak, I am going to remember something else that fits this title and will need to use it again.

    You know how it is… The leakage simply can’t be rushed any more than it can be contained. Believe me, I’ve tried. All the earplugs and cotton balls in the world won’t stop it. I’ve avoided having the little Dutch boy stick his fingers in my ears for the obvious reason – that being I don’t want any paint in my ear canal, of course… And, yeah, E K offered to plug my ears for me, but something told me I might not survive whatever she had in mind, so I declined. The point here being, the leak trickles on and what drips from the old brainpan doesn’t always happen in chronological order.

    So, on with this little ditty…

    Now, I want to point out that no matter what you read here, I am not in any way purporting, nor am I denying, the existence of “God”. Be it, ummm, he… uhhh… She?… I think we’ll stick with it… Be it the “one true God” as some would have you believe, or one out of an entire pantheon. My particular religious beliefs are my own, and yours are yours. In the interest of avoiding overt ridiculousity we should keep it that way.

    God speaks

    However, there are  sayings that many of us use in our everyday lives that invoke this “God”, whoever he, she, or it may be. (BTW, if you ask Evil Kat she will tell you that God is in not only a she, but that She is She… However, she prefers to be addressed as “Oh High Exalted Queen Bitch of the Entire F*cking Universe”… Except in informal situations when you can just call her Mistress. She says “God” as a moniker is simply too passe.)

    So, anyway, there are all these various sayings that invoke God, one of which is a bit of an exclamation I heard people use when I was growing up in the Southern U.S. –

    “You don’t have the sense that God gave a goose!”

    Fortunately, I don’t recall anyone saying this directly to me, but I definitely remember hearing it spouted at other folks who, in all honesty, didn’t have the common sense of a rock, so it wasn’t exactly a slanderous statement by any stretch of the imagination.

    GOOSE But, be that as it may, this very saying is what spawned the IBGG Local 747.

    At this point I suspect you are wondering just what the hell the IBGG Local 747 is. Well, obviously it is a union. To my knowledge there have only been 3 members in the past 25 years – moi being one of them. None of us have ever paid union dues, but by the same token the union has never done anything for us either, so I guess we’re even.

    BUT MURV! WHAT THE HELL IS THE IBGG?

    Chill out. You don’t have to yell at me. Sheesh…

    You see, to make a long story even more complex…

    Well, no… I won’t do that. Let me see if I can simplify it instead… You see, I had this acquaintance who had a tendency to get tongue tied with every single sentence he spoke. Unless he was yelling at someone, but that’s a different story. Anyway, whenever he got frustrated and was trying to NOT yell, his tongue became so entwined in his eye teeth that he would go blind and you never knew what was going to come out of his mouth. One day such an instance occurred when he was trying to explain something extremely simply to someone, and said someone just wasn’t getting it. All of a sudden, we’ll call him Gary because that’s his name, shook his head, looked at this person with disgust and spouted –

    “Dammit. You don’t have the sense to give God a goose, do ya?”

    I dunno. It was pretty damn funny at the time. Maybe you just had to be there. At any rate, the IBGGInternational Brotherhood of Goose Givers – was born. Our motto was, of course, “Go give God a goose.”

    You are perfectly welcome to take that however you want.

    VODKA Since I have God’s ear on a regular basis these days, I asked E K recently if she would like a goose. She slapped me, of course. Hard enough to rattle my brainpan and incite more leakage in fact. After she was through being a vengeful Goddess, she told me she could go for a Grey Goose and Tonic. I wasn’t surprised by this as she usually enjoys a drink or two after handing out a severe beating.

    So… That’s all for now. I have to limp into the kitchen and mix a drink so I can go give God… Umm, I mean “Oh High Exalted Queen Bitch of the Entire F*cking Universe” a goose.

    And as we know I’m all thumbs…

    I wonder if this would be a good time to pay my union dues and look into their insurance options?

    More to come…

    Murv