BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Yeah, I’m a YES fan… Pretty hard to be my age and NOT at least be familiar with YES. And, yes, I’m “sorta” kyping the title of this blog entry from YES. Although the actual title of the song wasn’t quite right, so I had to dig a little deeper into the lyrics.

And now, I probably need to stop saying yes so much…

The truth is, my heart isn’t actually broken. To be perfectly honest, it isn’t even mortally wounded, nor is it shattered, cracked, dinged, chipped, or otherwise severely damaged. I will say, however, that my feelings are just a bit hurt. Not irreparably, but definitely a little dab. But, I have to admit, I saw it coming. In fact, I’ve seen it coming for better than a decade now. Screaming headlong in my direction, on its way to bowl me over without apology.

But, for any of it to make sense, as usual, I need to start at the beginning…

Christmas season last – that being 2009 – it was time to set about doing the limited shopping. I say limited because E K and I only trade small gifts – after all, I shower her with gems and such all year round. But all seriousness aside for a moment… Really and for true… We only buy small gifts for one another, and the rest of the budget goes to the O-spring and the nieces & nephews under the age of 18. It’s an overall family decision and it works well.

Now, in recent years, the O-spring has decided that perhaps she should purchase gifts for us as well. This is pretty neat in and of itself because it’s one of those hallmarks of growing up. Of course, we didn’t make her go out and get a job. She just saves up her allowance for a couple of weeks and then we supplement it a bit if necessary. Normal parenting stuff.

So… Christmas 2009 the O-spring kept joking around and telling me that she was going to buy me some BBQ’d ribs as a gift. Along came “national present opening day” and sure enough, there was a box under the tree with my name on it. When I dug into it I found that my daughter had definitely inherited my sense of humor, for while there were no actual BBQ’d ribs in the box, there were in fact two very important items which hinted at such:

A high-heat resistant silicone basting brush and a bottle of Carolina style BBQ sauce.

And, as I said, the munchkin’ inherited my sense of humor. She had executed this joke of her own accord, with only the absolute necessary help from E K – i.e. driving her to the store, etc…

So, we had a good laugh. Then, we decided that as soon as the weather was nice and I had some free time, we would do the Dad and Daughter BBQ thing. We would get ourselves a slab of ribs and have at it.

This past weekend just happened to be the one.

I was on schedule with my manuscript, the predicted weather was to be absolutely lovely, and the supermarket had ribs on sale. O-spring and I planned it and for the entire week I looked forward to it. After all, I’ve been trying to get the kid interested in cooking forever and she hasn’t really taken a shine to the idea. She finally seemed like this was something that just might hold promise where such was concerned. Plus, I would get to spend quality time with the kid, doing something fun…

The Q’ing day came round, and her friends starting calling. I didn’t think anything of it at first. After all, we had plans… Then, I found myself standing at the grill with a rack of ribs, a pair of tongs, a silicone brush, and a bottle of Carolina style sauce.

And, a beer. By the time all was said and done, several actually.

Because you see, there was no O-spring to join me in the Q’ing of the ribs. Her friends and social life took precedence over the plans of the day. Eventually, she came back. But, she was still hanging with her friends. E K convinced all of them to play Boccie Ball in the back yard where I was “manning the grill”, which at least put her in the general vicinity. However, as far as the ribs went, I was on my own – until time to eat them, of course.

I was just a little bit devastated, hence the multiple beers…

I’ll get over it. I’m a big boy, and I am well aware that this is just the beginning of a long string of dented feelings. Like I said, I’ve known it was coming since the day she was born. Hell, I was a kid once myself, so I know what it’s like, and I’m certain I hurt my parents feelings in similar ways as well.

But, she’s arrived at that age where her developing social life is all important, and E K and I, as her parents, are sort of like ATM’s that talk back but don’t say anything important – at least, as far as she’s concerned. That’s just how it goes and something I have to accept. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, of course, but there’s little I can do to change it.

Now, I just have to sit back and bide my time… After another decade passes by – or maybe just a little more –  she’ll come back around and realize Dad is an okay guy to hang out with. And, when she does, I’ll find a sale on ribs, Carolina style BBQ sauce, and a bag of charcoal.

With a little luck, maybe I’ll still have that silicone brush she gave me for Christmas in 2009.

More to come…

Murv

Yeah, okay, so it’s not exactly frightful just yet, but it is well on its way to being just that. However, here in Saint Louis it has been chilly, a bit damp, and all around blustery. And, when the temperatures fall, the wind blows, and cold water falls out of the sky, it is time for certain comfort foods to make it all bearable. As I’ve outlined in previous blogs, the kitchen in our home is my purview and the responsibility of putting said comfort foods on the table falls squarely upon me.

Of course, you all know that task comes with an added twist – I also have to make sure that the comfort food meets with Her Grand Exalted Highness Evil Kat’s expectations, lest I be chained up in the basement and ruthlessly tortured with garden tools and the like.

Fortunately for me, there are a few comfort foods that actually make the evil redhead almost crack a smile. Not quite, but almost.

I’ve discovered her favorites through trial and error – sometimes more error than trial, because E K doesn’t give you an opportunity to defend yourself. She just punishes you until you get it right, so I still have a few scars. But, these days I usually get beat for something besides my cooking.

So, in case you have an Evil Redhead, Wicked Blonde, or Badass Brunette you need to please, or if you are just looking for some quick – or sometimes not so quick – recipes for comfort foods to drive the cold winter away, I might be able to help. Yeah… Just for fun I thought maybe I’d share a few of E Kay’s faves with you over the course of the next couple of months.

And, just because I can – and because it’s been chilly – I’m going to start with one of the tops on her list, that being, of course, Chili.

Now, before I get into the recipe proper I need to clarify a couple of things:

1. Chili purists will tell you this isn’t really chili because it has beans in it. E K will not consume chili that does not have beans in it. I am not about to argue with her about that, as I value my life too much. Besides, the basement is cold, damp, and no one can hear you scream, except E K…
2. My good buddy Dorothy Morrison will tell you this isn’t really chili because it has BLACK beans and corn in it. To this day I have no clue what black beans and corn did to get on her bad side, but let me tell you – don’t ever, and I mean ever, mention black beans and corn  in the same sentence around her. Same thing goes for sun dried tomatoes. The resulting rant is well… just plain scary.
3. Finally, I am going out on a limb and making the assumption that if you try this at home you already know your way around the kitchen so I’m not going to teach you how to cook here, just give you a recipe.

So, on with said recipe…

Chili E Kay’s Way

A Midwestern Style Chili To Soothe An Evil Redhead

(Prep time: 10 min – Cooking time: 20 min – Serves 4 to 6)

Ingredients:

1 lb Ground Turkey (Can use Ground Beef if desired)

3/4 Cup Frozen Yellow Corn Kernels

1 Can (14.5 oz) Diced Tomatoes

2 Cans (14.5 oz each) Black Beans, Drained

1 Large Yellow Onion, Chopped (Coarse or Fine, your preference)

2 Tbsps Finely Chopped Jalapeño Pepper

4 Tbsps Finely Chopped Pickled Sweet Banana Peppers

3 Tbsp Vinegar (From Sweet Pickled Peppers)

Seasoning:

1 1/2 Tbsp Chili Powder

1 Tbsp Paprika

2 tsp Cumin

1 Tbsp Raw Sugar (AKA Turbinado Sugar)

1 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon

1 Tbsp Ground Banana Pepper Flakes

1 Tbsp Ground Mild Chili Pepper Flakes

Preparation:

Personally, I prepare this dish in a large, stainless steel skillet, but then I do quite a bit of my cooking in a skillet – be it stainless steel, cast iron, Calphalon, or Chantal, as I have all of the above.

Start by combining all of the seasonings in a small bowl and mixing them well – set aside. Then, chop the peppers and onions and generally do your prep work, of course.

Begin the E Kay’s Chili by browning the ground turkey. If you elect to use ground beef instead, after browning drain the grease before continuing. Once the meat is browned, reduce heat then add all of the chopped peppers and onions. Sweat peppers and onions with browned meat until slightly translucent, raise heat and add vinegar. This will allow you to deglaze the pan. Add the spice mixture set aside earlier and mix throughout. Add frozen corn kernels and canned tomatoes (with liquid) and stir together. Reduce heat and simmer 5 to 10 minutes. Add drained black beans and mix well. Simmer until beans are heated through.

Serve hot with shredded cheese (Colby-Jack is E Kay’s preference) and a dollop of sour cream.

Some points of note – I transfer the finished chili into a casserole dish when it is done in order to make it easier to serve.

You will also notice that there really isn’t much fire behind this chili – that’s pretty much because E K is as hot as it gets so she doesn’t need any more heat. However, if you are like me you might want to spice it up a bit. I embellish mine “in the bowl” with added Jalapeño Peppers and some of my homemade hot salsa. If I’m really in the mood for hot (other than E K, of course) I’ll toss a little ground Habanero in there too. You can certainly increase the “heat” skillet side for the whole batch should you so desire.

Finally, the ground mild chili pepper flakes and ground sweet banana pepper flakes could be a minor issue for some of you, as in having them on hand. I garden, and have friends who garden, so I tend to dry and grind such items myself. However, you can easily find the above dried peppers in the ethnic foods section of your local grocery store, and a quick spin in a coffee grinder – everyone has a coffee grinder specifically for their spices, correct? – will render them to the state required. Just be warned, they are usually sold in large packages, and while not very expensive, you will end up with quite a few dried peppers on hand.

And there you have it… Chili E Kay’s Way. I even came up with a catchy slogan in case I ever want to market it…

“It’s good to eat, and you won’t get beat…”

More to come…

Murv