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  • Fiesta Now And Then…

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    I used to wonder if my family had ties to Mexico. We’ll get to why in just a bit…

    If you happen to follow me on Facebook you probably saw a status update last week lamenting the fact that I had a fairly obnoxious Christian witnessing to me. She’s actually a nice lady, but she’s a little too passionate about her beliefs – literally to the point of being outright disrespectful about anything that doesn’t match her way of thinking – which, as she tells it, it God’s way of thinking. But, I’m not here to get into that… Suffice it to say, I received just as much advice on how to handle her from my FB friends as I did advice from her in the first place. My bad. I probably should have kept the whole thing to myself. But, again, I’m not here to get into that…

    You see, on the heels of all that, I attended a family reunion – EKay’s side. This portion of the family, much as I love them, are also deeply ingrained in their religious beliefs. All good. However, some of them take the same approach as the young lady I dealt with the previous week – that being that even the simplest of conversations must be turned into a witnessing and/or sermon. At past gatherings this has forced me to excuse myself and go hide. This go around, fortunately, I was spared such, and had a great time. But, again, this has little to do with my suspicion of a Mexican heritage – or does it?

    Here’s the thing: Being at odds about religion is nothing new to me. Portions of my own family were just as ingrained in their beliefs, especially on my Dad’s side. In fact, my grandfather literally “ran the pews” at his church. Whenever I would spend summers back in Kentucky, working on the farm, Wednesday and Sunday always involved Church. A lot of it. And there were other Church events – suppers, picnics, etc – where I would end up as well.

    Again – where does this south of the border heritage thing come in?

    Well, my grandfather would say grace at every meal. Now, while I may have been at odds with them about religion, by the same token I was respectful about it as long as I wasn’t being beat over the head too badly. So, when grace would come around I would bow my head, remain silent, and listen. My grandfather, Joe Sellars, would invoke Jesus, request blessings upon the food, the land, the family, and anyone else sitting at the table. If someone else needed to be included in the prayers they were, and then he would wind down to the end. As he approached the final “amen,” his mumble would become less intelligible – at least, to me. For years I struggled to understand what he was saying but never could quite put a finger on it, other than to the best of my hearing he was saying: Fiesta now and then, uh-huh…

    Given that Joe Sellars ran the pews at the church, I think maybe there’s something to that. Apparently he was more of a “partier” than I ever knew.

    I had it in my head that I was going to save this story for the magnum opus autobiography I would write in coming years, but since I really doubt anyone much cares to read about how I got up, went to work, then came home, over and over again for 400 pages, I thought maybe I’d just put it here.

    But, who knows? Maybe something interesting will happen before I kick off, and I WILL write that autobiography anyway. If I do I think I’ll go ahead and call it, Fiesta Now And Then…

    Just for fun I’ll have the release party in Water Valley, Kentucky and hold it on Cinco de Mayo…

    More to come…

    Murv

  • The Big Three Oh…

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    Well, when it comes to “age” the proverbial Big Three Oh is languishing somewhere in a valley well behind a mountain range that is rapidly shrinking in my rear view mirror. That is to say, 30 was a long, long time ago… An entire voting and drafting age adult ago, in fact. However, if you do the math it works out that I took my final bow at Ritenour Senior High thirty years ago this past June. And, like most high school alumni association type folks, mine tossed a shindig to celebrate this milestone.

    The party – or parties, I should say – in question occurred this past weekend (July 16 & 17), at two different locations, beginning with a “Multi Year Happy Hour” at the Lemp Mansion on Friday evening, which saw graduates spanning ’73 – ’84.  (Yours truly was a member of the “hosting class” for the shindig, 1980). Much fun was had, many old faces seen. Some old faces with new construction. Some old faces that hadn’t changed. But mostly, we were all just old. I visited with friends I hadn’t seen in 30 years, and some I hadn’t seen in 5. I even visited with people I didn’t know that I knew and am still not entirely certain that I know, if that makes any sense. As a rule, it seemed a healthy chunk of the folks knew me – or of me – whereas I had a passing familiarity with a much smaller percentage, and am friends with an even smaller number than that.

    This can be a little disconcerting, but beer helps. Several beers helps even more…

    Night two was the “Class of 80 Reunion Proper” and it was held at the Missouri Athletic Club – a posh private club in downtown Saint Louis with fancy ballrooms and high end food. Suffice it to say, when the elaborate appetizer table features plenty of Stilton and Brie among the countless selections, you definitely aren’t talking “supermarket cheese tray” here. This is some upscale digs.

    At any rate, the evening was filled with more chatting, old faces, new old faces, old new faces, and as always seems to be the case with me, a bit of the bizarre. What follows here is a Facebook note I put out there to recap the evening. Since many of my blog readers aren’t on FB, I thought I’d re-run it here:

    RHS Class of ’80 30 Year Reunion Recap…

    ...from the perspective of a satire slinging suspense-thriller author, of course.

    Drive… Drive… Drive.
    Park
    Walk… Walk… Walk…

    Check in table…

    Kathy (Not EK): MURV!
    Me: KATHY!
    Teri: Here’s your nametag.
    Me: I have a nametag? YAY! I’m SOMEBODY!!!
    Teri: Have fun.
    Me: We’ll try. But if we don’t it’s your fault and I’m going to come looking for you.
    Teri: SECURITY!

    Mingle… Mingle…

    Me: Yeah, the redhead will have a tonic with a twist. What kind of beer do you have?
    Bartender: AB this… AB that… AB the other… AB… AB…
    Me: What, no C?
    Bartender: AB this… AB that… AB the other… AB… AB…

    Random Classmate: Hi.
    Me: Hi, ummm, do I know you?
    Random Classmate: I don’t know, but I know you.
    Me: Sorry… I just can’t place you.
    Random Classmate: You’re that guy.
    Me: I am?
    Random Classmate: Yeah.
    Me: Oh, uh, okay.

    Mingle… Mingle…

    Random Classmate: Hi. We went to school together.
    Me: Ummm, yeah. I think that could be said for most everyone in the room. Here’s your sign.

    Random Classmate: Picture, picture. I need a picture.
    (smile) {flash}
    Random Classmate: Me too! Me too!
    (smile) {flash}
    Random Classmate: Over here, Murv!
    (smile) {flash}
    (smile) {flash}
    (smile) {flash}
    {little floaty spots in front of my face}
    Music in my head: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT, REVVED UP LIKE A…

    [hug]
    [hug}
    [handshake]
    [hug]
    [handshake]

    E K: Who was that?
    Me: I have no effing idea.

    [hug]
    [hug]
    [handshake]

    Random Classmate: Murv! How are you? Remember that time when we blah blah whatchmacallit blah?
    Me: Ummm. No?
    Random Classmate: Oh come on. We blah blah, then bla… Oh… Wait… That wasn’t you. Sorry.
    Me: No problem. I get that a lot.
    Random Classmate: Ummmm… I hear you write books now.
    Me: That’s the rumor.
    Random Classmate: You’re going to put this in a book aren’t you?
    Me: (nodding) Yeah. Probably. At the very least I’ll make fun of you in a blog or something.

    Random Classmate: Hi.
    Me: Hi.
    Random Classmate: Do you know me?
    Me: Hell no, I don’t even know myself.
    Random Classmate: You’re that guy, right?
    Me: That’s what I’ve been hearing.
    Random Classmate: No. Really. You’re that guy.
    Me: Okay, you got me. I’m that guy. But, sometimes when I’m feeling pretty, I’m that girl.
    Random Classmate: O_o.
    Me: Yeah, kinda scary, huh? (Especially since I look nothing at all like Marlo Thomas.)

    BUFFET LINE…

    E K: Woohoo! VEGGIES!
    Random Classmate: (pointing) Ummm… What’s that?
    Me: (pointing) Grilled eggplant, grilled zucchini, grilled asparagus, grilled portabello mushroom, grilled peppers…
    Random Classmate: Oh… those are vegetables, right? I’ll pass…
    Me: You’d have a much easier time with that if you actually ate some of the veggies. Fiber, ya’know.
    Random Classmate: O_o

    Eat… Eat…Eat…

    DJ Jazzy J And The Funky Bunch – YO! {{{feedback… buzzzzz… squeal… feedback}}}
    [MYOO-ZIK – Thumpita Thumpita TWANG THUMPA]

    Random Classmate: HI!
    Me: WHAT?
    Random Classmate: HI!
    Me: WHAT?
    Random Classmate: YOU’RE MURV, RIGHT?
    Me: OH, I THINK IT’S JUST DOWN THE HALL.
    Random Classmate: WHAT?

    Me: (relating an anecdote to friends) …And then at my last book launch I had someone who actually believed she’s a “REAL vampire slayer” and wanted to “slay” my fans when they showed up.
    Steve, Cathy, and Nathan: You actually get crazy people showing up?
    Me: At least one at every event. Sometimes more…
    (frantic high heels coming closer – clickity, clackity, clickety, clackety…)
    Random Classmate: You don’t know me, but I know about you!
    Me: What will it take for you to not call the police? I really can’t afford another strike on my record right now.
    Random Classmate: O_o… Ummm… I know who you are.
    Me: I’m glad someone does, because I lost my wallet.
    Random Classmate: No… You don’t understand… I know what you do.
    Me: Like I said, how much for you to not call the police?
    Random Classmate: No… You write books.
    Me: I’ve heard that about me.
    Random Classmate: Well, have I got a story for you!
    Me: Really? What is it?
    Random Classmate: I can’t tell you because you’ll steal it.
    Me: Yeah, I don’t blame you. Just can’t trust us author types.
    Random Classmate: But I’ll sell it to you.
    Me: Sugar, no offense, but I have more ideas running around in my head than I’ll be able to write in my lifetime, so I’m not going to steal it or buy it.
    Random Classmate: But this has never been done before and it will make a great movie.
    Me: So, what is it?
    Random Classmate: I can’t tell you. You’ll steal it.
    E K: [giggle]
    Steve, Cathy, Nathan: Crap… You weren’t kidding, were you?

    {flash} {flash}
    [hug hug]

    Random Classmate: Hmmnimmm… Wharz baffoom?
    Me: Hall to the left.
    Random Classmate: Hmmmnim.
    clickety, clackety, clickety, clackety, CRASH!
    Steve, Nathan, Cathy, EK, Me: (checking on the noise) Are you okay?
    Random Classmate: Hmminnmm rmmm hhmminnimmmmm…

    (frantic high heels coming closer – clickity, clackity, clickety, clackety…)
    Previous Random Classmate: I’ve got a story… I’ve got a story… I’ve got a story…
    Steve, Cathy, and Nathan: This is going in a book, isn’t it?
    Me: Probably.

    Various Classmates: Bye… See you in five years.
    Me: Bye. See you on Facebook.

    Many of my friends keep telling me that my experience has something to do with celebrity. I think they’re wrong, because we didn’t have any celebrities at the reunion, other than the folks who worked so hard to put the shindig together.

    Rumor has it the 35th is going to be a 4 day cruise. I have to wonder if I’ll be hearing clickity, clackity, clickety, clackety… stumble… gaaahhhhhhh! SPLASH!

    I hope not, but if I do I’ll have no choice but to put it in a book. After laughing so hard that my drink shoots out my nose... Why? Because I’m that guy.

    More to come…

    Murv

    (Pictured: Photo 1 – Dave Perkins, M. R. Sellars, E K… Photo 2 – Kathy Patterson Inkley, M. R. Sellars…)