BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Yes… Yes… I know. The next blog up is supposed to be Food. It’s Really Not That Hard… I’ve caught all manner of grief about the “cliffhangerness” of the $750.00 story… Well, suck it up and quit complaining. It’s coming…

HOWEVER…

Well… You saw THAT coming, right? I know I did…

As it happens, March 26 is way more than just a two and a six in a square on a sheet of paper. Never mind that the two and six would only add up to eight, which is way less than 26. Unless you then multiplied the sum by three and added two. But this isn’t supposed to be a math lesson. It’s actually supposed to be a March lesson, sans drums, hares, and, well, marching…

Suffice it to say, March 26 is a couple of things besides just a date on a page:

1. Earth Hour Day – if you don’t know about Earth Hour day, then go here and find out: EARTH HOUR – We here at La Casa De La Pelirrojas will be on candle power this evening to show our support. Feel free to join us (in the whole candle power thing, not showing up at our house. Do that and we might have to shoot you…)
2. National Make Your Own Holiday Day – Srsly. (Details)

Soooo, since March 26th, every year, is National Make Your Own Holiday Day, the staff of Brainpan Leakage – the staff in question being Moi… and… well… E K, because she’s the supervisor and I have to do what she tells me to do… But anyway, here at Brainpan Leakage we… I… she… us… Whatever… thought it might be a good thing to toss some ideas out there for folks, just in case they are having problems coming up with a holiday…

POSSIBLE HOLIDAYS FOR NATIONAL MAKE YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY

National Make Your Own Porn Day (Be sure to share)

National Do Whatever E K Says Day (24/7/365 for me already)

National Read A Rowan Gant Investigations Novel Day

National Chuck A Woodchuck Day

National Simonize Your Car Day

National Eat Sushi Day

National Hit Someone In The Face With A Pie Day

National Just Say No To Microsoft Day

National Velvet Day

National Eat Some Vienna Sausages Day

National SPAM On A Stick Day

And… You know me… The list could go on, and on…

So there you have it. It’s National Make Your Own Holiday day, so make yourself a holiday and celebrate it every way you can. But when the festivities are over, remember to turn out the lights, shut off the TV, and maybe just read a book by candlelight. Because no matter what holiday you invent, it’s still Earth Hour day, and we’ve only got one Earth – it has to last us a while…

Besides. You’ll save some cash by not using all that electricity, and then you can afford to run out and buy some more books by that M. R. Sellars guy…

More to come…

Murv

It has been quite a while since I’ve done a Frequently Asked Questions blog, so I though maybe it might be time for one, especially when you consider that I’ve had a few questions being asked frequently as of late…

Believe it or not, as silly as some of the questions may seem, they have actually been asked by someone other than the voices inside my head. And, you will notice that some of these questions have appeared in past FAQ blogs. Why are they here now? Because people are still asking them. Frequently. As in, a lot.

Srsly.

So, without further mucking about, it’s time for…

ASK MERP!

1. I just read (or recently read, or at some point read) Merrie Axemas: A Killer Holiday Tale, and loved it (hated it, think you suck, WTF, Christmas is over you putz). Will you be continuing the story at all?

The short answer is: Yes. The long answer is: Yes. (That is to say, look for the full-length novel, In The Bleak Midwinter, coming November 2011.)

2. Why haven’t I ever heard of you before?

Hmm… Uhh… Well… Umm, best guess? I have no friggin’ clue. But don’t worry, I haven’t heard of you either, so we’re all good.

3. Do you write every day?

Yes. While I don’t necessarily work on a novel project on the weekends, I write something every single day, whether it’s a blog entry, notes, a bit of poetry, or a random journal entry.

4. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

Srsly? Okay, you asked for it – A hardwood. Take that however you want.

5. I read in an interview where you said that you give your wife a 30 minute back rub every morning. Is that true?

No. It used to be, but she changed the setting on the alarm clock while I was out of town, so now it’s a 45 minute back rub. Since I have more traveling ahead of me, I suspect by the end of the summer she will have adjusted the alarm clock enough that it will be a two-hour back rub by sometime around mid-August this year.

6. Will you ever be growing your ponytail back?

I’ve grown accustomed to being able to escape the clutches of the evil redhead – at least part of the time – now that she doesn’t have the built-in leash to grab onto. So, I’d have to say growing it back isn’t very high on my priority list.

7. When are you going to write the Rowan Gant cookbook you talked about?

Me and my big mouth. I really have no clue. Srsly. I don’t. I know I babbled about it once upon a time, and apparently it resonated with some of you. I haven’t ruled it out, but it’s not residing on the top of the projects pile either. However, when I do, I’ll be sure to shout it from the rooftops.

8. When are you coming to [insert town, city, state, country here]?

When someone books me to do a gig there, most likely. Book tours aren’t as common as they once were, due to the economy, the changes in the publishing industry, and the surge of social media. However, if someone books me for a gig, I’m there. To do that, contact my publicist: Wendy at promo_dept@willowtreepress.com

9. When is there going to be a Rowan Gant Investigations movie?

When someone buys the rights and makes one. That’s about all I can say. At this juncture, nobody has optioned any of the books in the series, so it’s doubtful you will see one in the near future. The same goes for TV.

10. I read somewhere that you get up at 4:30 in the morning every day. Is that true, and why?

I wake up at around 4:30 AM, give or take a few minutes. My feet don’t generally hit the floor until 5 or 5:30. As to why, I have a very high maintenance wife. Her breakfast doesn’t fix itself.

But seriously, on the “why,” it’s my internal clock. I spent a lot of time on a farm growing up, and even when I was in the city, my family was of the early rising type. It’s kinda baked on and I haven’t been able to scrub it off, no matter how hard I try.

That’s it for this edition of ASK MERP! Keep those cards and letters coming. The sponsors won’t pay up unless I can prove you’re watching…

More to come…

Murv