BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

There are times when it seriously sucks to be the Dad.

I suppose I should back up just a bit and give you some background as to why I make that statement, because I suspect most of you know I am all about my kid. So, let me fill you in…

Some of you may or may not be aware that the animals in my novels – those being the two dogs and the three cats who share the abode with the main characters, Rowan and Felicity – are actually based on my own four-legged cohabitators. The dogs, as I have mentioned in the past, have since gone on to the other side, but they still live on in my books. So too, do the felines in many senses, as they are composites of the numerous cats we have rescued over the years. Emily – the cats in the novels are named Emily (Dickinson), Dickens (Charles), and Salinger (J.D.), go figure – is based on the real life felines, Data and Buffer, both calicos like their fictional composite. Data left us last year, peacefully, in her sleep. She was something on the order of a million years old… Well, around 18+ years to be a little more exact, but for a cat, that’s a fair piece of time. Buffer, however, was still around – until this weekend.

Buffer was only 14, but that is still a good lifetime for a feline. To be honest, where I come from, farm cats rarely made it past 5 or 6 years, but I digress as usual. The especially bad part about losing Buffer this weekend is that she went outside and got into an altercation with a vehicle.

The vehicle won.

EK and the Spawn were out shopping, which was fortunate, because I was the one who found her instead of them. As you can guess, when you are talking Feline vs. Auto, the results aren’t very pretty.

So, I found her… And, I got to be the one who cleaned up the remains, dug the hole, tried to convince my wife that the animal hadn’t suffered – though I really couldn’t know that for sure – and help console an 8 year old who misses her friend. Then, I got to toss and turn that night because the image of the aftermath played back for me each time I closed my eyes. And, you know, as it happens I miss the cat too. But, I have to be the strong one.

Hence, why it sometimes sucks to be the Dad, especially when a shovel an a shoebox are involved…

(sigh)

I suppose I should try to end this on a slightly cheerier note, so here goes…

Speaking of pets, I’m sure most everyone is aware of the latest Myspace rage, that being purchasing and selling your friends as “human pets”. Well, it seems I was purchased by an old friend, and she has since sold me… Since then I have been gifted, traded, and sold all over the place. But, just so all the bases are covered, I’ll mention here that if you purchase me, unlike Morrison, I am housebroken and fairly low maintenance.

BTW, I really like Pizza and beer, but I don’t do tricks. Well, I do, but that’s a whole ‘nother story…

More to come…

Murv

I have to be honest. The picture you see at left has absolutely nothing to do with this blog entry… Well, kinda nothing.

You see, it wasn’t even included with the original posting of this particular entry. However, in the process of moving things from Myspace to the new home of Brainpan Leakage, I was also doing a bit of straightening up around the hard drive… Early spring cleaning, so to speak… Well, as luck would have it, I ran across this picture of EK and me from a costume party we held on our 8^th anniversary (remember, we got married on Halloween)…  8th anniversary…spiders…8 legs… yeah, we were all about themes back then… I’ll have to see about digging out some of our other costume party photos.  But, there I go digressing…

Anyway, so given the title of this blog entry, as well as the Addams family references, EK looking all dangerous & sexy in her “Black Widow” outfit, and me as her webbed over prey, just seemed to fit and I decided maybe I should post it here…

Even if it doesn’t exactly fit, well, it’s kind of a cute picture.

But, on with the original blog…

So I’m on a few of these other social networking sites. Yeah, I know, there are a ton of them out there, and I cannot possibly be on all of them or I would never get any writing done. But in the interest of “viral marketing” I do hang out on a couple of the others besides Myspace. Hey, it’s all about getting name recognition. People see me, see my name, then the next time they see it the little bulb lights up to trigger the “hey, I’ve heard of that guy before”… Then, maybe they eventually get around to buying a book or two. Then, I get to keep writing books. (Kind of a vicious circle, eh?)

Yeah, I know. Get to the point, Gomez…

Anyway, I’m sure you are wondering “why the Addams family lyrics for a title of this blog?” Well, I’ll tell you. On one of those other social networking sites, someone posted a comment to my page that went a little something like this:

“…You two must be a HOOT at Parent-Teacher’s day! LOL! (WHY did the image of Gomez and Morticia Addams meeting Mr. Rodgers just pop into my head? “its a lovely day in the embalming room, a lovely day in the freezer…oh, will you be my, won’t you be, my cadaver?” LOL!)…”

Obviously that isn’t the entire comment, but basically it came on the heels of some banter about Evil Kat, and the question that due to the genre of my writing whether or not she is afraid to go to sleep with me around. To that I simply replied that she is far more evil than I could possibly be.

At any rate, the Addams family reference as well as the P/T conference thing begged an answer (you know me, just can’t shut up for anything). So, I answered. My  reply seemed to tickle quite a few folks, so I thought maybe I’d repeat it here.

Yes… Parent – Teacher Conferences are VERY interesting… Primarily on the first orientation conference, after Wednesday (well, you started it with the Addams family stuff – besides, I don’t publish the munchkins name) tells everyone in her class that “Daddy writes books” …  So, the first conference goes something like the following (note: this is a fairly accurate recounting of almost every initial P/T conference we have attended)–

Teacher: Mister Sellars, nice to meet you. Wednesday just goes on and on about how you are an author.

Murv: Yeah, she gets a bit excited about things at times.

Teacher: So, what are your books about?

Murv: They’re paranormal suspense novels about a Witch who helps the Saint Louis Major Case Squad track down and apprehend serial killers.

Teacher: [horrified silence]

Murv: [Grin]

Teacher: So…ummm…uhhh…they aren’t children’s books then?

Murv: No. Not so much. I told Wednesday she’s not allowed to read them until she’s at least 35. Oh, and by the way, whenever I’m not out of town on tour I’m available to help out as a room parent for field trips and such. Just give me a call.

Teacher: [rushing to change the subject] Ummm, uhhh. okay…uhhh…So! Wendesday’s Mom! I understand YOU fix computers!

So, there you have it… That really and truly is pretty much how our initial meetings with the munchkin’s teachers go. Fortunately, after that things seem to settle down. Especially after I send postcards to the class when I am gallivanting around the country on tour. In fact, they even end up deciding I’m pretty okay.

Yeah, I’ve even been determined to be okay enough that I’ve actually done the room parent thing on field trips. (LOL)

More to come…

Murv