BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Nope. Not the electronic kind.

I’m talking about SPAM™ …Actually, since SPAM™ is ridiculously expensive (something like $3.29 a can… Probably due to the popularity of its name) I opt for TREET™ … Different company, same kind of can, same rectangular hunk of pressed pork leavin’s. And, it’s only 99¢ per can. Gotta love that.

Why? It means I can get three times as much of it.

Now here is the thing about SPAM™/TREET™/TRAM©/SPEET©. I love the stuff. Don’t know why. I mean, I definitely didn’t come from a well to do family, so I ate more than my share of the meat-like schtuff as a kid. Along with Vienna Sausages, which I also love. And, well, our psyche’s do tend to rebel and we normally eschew that which reminds us of harder times. But, the psuedo Virginia ham-like goodness of these canned pork leavin’s don’t really conjure a bad memory for me. In fact, it is more like a comfort food. It makes me remember a time when my family was still around – you see, with the exception of my sister and a few distant relatives, my ancestral family is gone. So, at this semi-advanced stage in my life I am a bit nostalgic. Therefore, I am all about things that remind me of better times, even if we were dirt poor and the times didn’t seem “better” when they were happening. Now, looking back on them, they seem like the best of times. But, that is the way with nostalgia, so who am I to complain?

Now, there are tons of ways to serve TREET™/SPAM™… Dice it up in some scrambled eggs. BBQ it. Roast it on a stick at a camp out. Hey, I’ve even diced it up and added it to homemade lentil soup. This stuff is so friggin’ versatile, I could go on forever. The possibilities are that endless.

However, I’ll stick to a single recipe…One of my favorite ways to enjoy these pressed and potted pork renderings is to slice the block into 1/2 inch thick slabs, sear ’em real quick in a hot skillet, then place a couple between two pieces of wheat bread with a slice of real American cheese. Now that, my friends, is good eatin’.

Okay, so I know you are wondering why I am devoting an entire blog entry to SPAM™/TREET™/TRAM©/SPEET©. Well, it’s simple really.

I love it. My wife and kid, not so much. The kid turns her nose up. My wife, on the other hand, will eat it if it is the only option and she’s really, really hungry. But, usually, she likes to point out that she doesn’t like it. Lately, she has even been on a kick of telling me that it is “bad for me”…

So, step forward in time a bit…I was having a potted-pressed-rendered-pork-leavin’s sammich just the other day. I was really enjoying it. The Evil Redhead proceeded to ask in a somewhat accusatory tone, “Do you realize how much saturated fat that stuff has in it?”

Honestly, I didn’t. So, I checked the can.

About 4g saturated fat and 6g of protein per serving (which is what I was having – 1 serving) 3g of carbohydrates in the form of sugars. It was about 130 calories, not counting the bread and cheese. Now, I will grant you, the entire fat content of a serving is 11g, but not all fat is bad. In fact, our bodies require it to function. And remember, only 4 of the 11 grams were saturated, which is the bad kind.

Now, the interesting thing about this is that when she asked the question, she was enjoying a serving of Strawberry Milkshake Flavored Malted Milk Balls.

Out of curiosity, I checked the box.

Her single serving was 180 calories, had 8g of saturated fat, 31g of carbohydrates (26 of which were in the form of sugar) and 1 whole gram of protein.

She was slightly stunned…

Based on what I was reading, her snack was worse for her than mine was for me. Not to mention, mine actually had significant nutritional value, whereas hers had next to none. I was also going to no longer be hungry. Her, probably not so much.

Of course, EK is about as big around as a stick, and her family is predisposed to live to 100 without any heart or artery disease, so the not so nutritional value of the malted milk balls probably didn’t hurt her one iota. But, hey, that’s not the point…We’re talking nutrition here…

You know, I think I’ll take the pork leavin’s over the candy.

More to come…

Murv

It’s interesting what you can find when you are randomly surfing the net.

Say, for instance, you are running down something that someone told you about, so you type in some logical, key search phrases. You don’t necessarily find the thing said individual was talking about, but you might just find something equally interesting (or disturbing, as the case may be).

That would be what happened to me today.

You see, I was chasing down something I had been told about a movie someone had seen. They told me that in the credits it has said “Based on the Rowan Gant Investigations Series by M. R. Sellars.” Well, having never received any sort of royalty check for such I was interested in finding out if this was true. As it turns out, I have been unable to find this movie (the person couldn’t remember the title), nor have I been able to find anything remotely indicating that such exists. What I did find, however, was a rather interesting blog.

Now… In the interest of not getting sued for unauthorized linking, I will simply put the URL here and if you are so inclined you can cut and paste it.

taac.us//blogs/Jennings/2007/06/13/wiccan-truths-can-be-found-closer-to-home

You will, of course, want to preface that with a www.

I suppose I found this particular blog interesting because it is about me, and the Rowan Gant Investigations. On top of that, it is written by Father Jennings of The Ancient Apostolic Communion, that being a new Independent denomination in the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church of Jesus Christ.

First off, I was surprised to find that Father Jennings had taken the time to read a book in the RGI series. He comments about the particular antagonist being featured in two books, however his commentary starts with something on the order of “Reading THE book in M. R. Sellars’…” (I capped the THE, not him…However, I am left wondering at the choice of THE over A, or even the and the plural, BOOKS…Oh well, in his blog he wonders about me as well, so I guess we are even.)

So…Father Jennings first seems to have a bit of an issue with my departure from “standard” literary conventions– those mentioned being punctuation and capitalization. I have no problem with that. It puts me in a category with one of my favorite, recently deceased authors, Kurt Vonnegut. He eschewed standard literary convention as well, choosing to create punctuation (such as I sometimes do with the ?! found in my books) and to use non-standard capitalization for emphasis (this is the item that seemed to set Father Jennings on edge the most). As a side note to Father Jennings, I hate to burst your bubble, but most novelists do take license with some of the conventions. And, we have these things called style sheets…

The first MAJOR thing Father Jennings takes issue with, however, is that I never explain “why” Rowan is Wiccan. He goes on to outline that if Rowan were Catholic, it wouldn’t be a problem since it is so close to Protestant Christianity that it would simply be accepted by the reader without question. However, since he is Wiccan, apparently the reader is owed an explanation as to what drove him to that faith.

I thought that to be just a bit amusing.

No, I am not poking fun at Father Jennings. I actually enjoyed his blog. It is well thought out and intelligent. However, I still find this observation of his amusing. Why? Because I don’t make a habit of asking people “why” they became Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Asatru, Secular Humanist, Agnostic, Atheist, or even Wiccan. I simply accept the fact that they are (if I happen to find out, because I don’t make a habit of asking a persons religion either). I also simply accept that they chose the path which best enlightened them spiritually. Perhaps I am a bit behind the curve with that, but the truth is I believe all religions should co-exist in some sort of harmony. I don’t hold any belief that such will happen in my lifetime, but for some of us we look upon religion as a personal quest, and our faith as something which bears no explaining to anyone but ourselves.

However, the good Father points out that one reason it is easy to accept someone being Christian is that they are born into it. Well, in the very first book of the RGI series, Harm None, Rowan points out that his Mother was a Witch. So, following his logic, it has been explained. Of course, I suppose that means I need to write a prequel explaining WHY Rowan’s Mother was drawn to the Craft, but I won’t go there…

Secondly, Father Jennings points out that the Christians portrayed in my books are all so narrow minded they can look through a keyhole with both eyes. Father, I love that metaphor! Reminds me of some of my own. Either way, this is not something I take issue with either. Truth is, he probably hasn’t read ALL of the books, because not EVERY Christian is portrayed as such. However, YES, some of them are. The one he points out most prominently is the ANTAGONIST. Well, you know, there is this thing called CONFLICT. Conflict makes a story and drives a book. Since the antagonist in the volume he references is Christian, and bent on reviving the Inquisition, it simply wouldn’t do for him to be generally accepting of other faiths, IMHO. It should also be noted that the antagonist is NOT portrayed as a typical Christian, but as a very disturbed sociopath. I also seem to recall Rowan  (remember him – the Wiccan?) points out far more benign meanings behind scripture than what the antagonist skews it to be.

Sooooo…this leads me to Father Jennings question of my personal open-mindedness where religion is concerned. To that I say, rest easy. I don’t hate Christians, Father Jennings. I take people on an individual basis, regardless of religion, race, politics, or personal philosophy. I treat everyone with respect until they treat me otherwise. Once they have shown ME disrespect, then I have no use for them.

However, since you have questioned my “broadmindedness,” I will pose this question to you– Did you ever think that perhaps I created the characters based on personal experiences? Like maybe the time my house was covered with banners in the middle of the night, all of them reading “Witches Live Here – Burn In Hell”… Or, the Christian Charity that refused to accept a sizeable donation from me because, and I quote that which was said to my face, “Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live…”

But, I’d rather jump down from the soapbox. I am not here to preach hate. As I said, I take people on an individual basis and many, MANY of my good, close friends are Christians who adhere to the philosophy of live and let live, just as I do.

We ALL have things to learn, and we all have our crosses (pentacles, thor’s hammers, etc) to bear. That is just part of life.

So, lest anyone think otherwise, I took no offense at Father Jennings blog. I found it interesting and entertaining. As I said, it was intelligent and well thought out. However, the comment section was closed so I couldn’t reply there, so I thought I’d just write my own little diatribe for the masses in my own blog…

Oh, and by the way, like it says in the front of my books–

The are FICTION…

More to come…

Murv