BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Fans are wonderful. Really.

As I have said in the past, “anti-fans” , not so much. But, on this tour I have met some absolutely wonderful folks and even had the opportunity to visit with fans of the RGI series who are interesting, lovely, intelligent, funny, and an all around blast to hang with.

I have to say, however, that I was in for quite a surprise at our last stop on the tour, which was last night (5/31) at 13 Magickal Moons in Occoquan, VA. 13 Magickal Moons is a wonderful little store, nestled in an arts & antiques district near the waterfront. Owned and run by Samantha and Jen, a couple of lovely young ladies who go out of their way to make a visit to their store a memorable one. Workshops are always well attended and authors are treated like part of the family.

I first did 13 Moons last year and was accepted warmly by the patrons, even though they really had no idea who I was and many had not even heard of the Rowan Gant series. Many of them purchased books and quickly became fans and friends.

Now, since I know that many of them keep up with my travels I was actually prepared for the questions about the “Kicked Out Of Wendy’s” blog, and even when “Coldie” (another lovely lady) arrived with pink nail polish in hand. These are folks who joke around with you and make even a 12 hour workday seem like it goes by in half the time.

I just love these folks.

But, I have to say that I wasn’t expecting the twist we had yesterday. You see, Miranda showed up.

Okay, so she wasn’t actually Miranda. In reality she was a beautiful young lady named Suzanne (I do hope I spelled that correctly. My apologies to her if I didn’t)…at any rate, Suzanne is a fan of the RGI series, and an absolutely lovely gal. Last year we had an opportunity to visit at the store and she was great fun to talk with. This year was the same, however, Suzanne “got into character”. She arrived at 13 Magickal Moons decked out in her own version of Miranda’s dominatrix attire. This was a first for me. No fan has ever “dressed up” as one of my characters before, but let me tell you this young lady looked great.

After the signing and workshops we posed for a few playful pics, her playing up her Miranda attire and attitude while I played the part of her victim. (I should have known one of my characters would come back to bite me at some point!) At any rate, the folks who took the shots are supposed to send them to me and I will post them as soon as they arrive. (Note, we aren’t talking about any pornographic here, just some fun, joking around.)

Rumor has it that one of the fans who snapped a few pics last night will be putting them up on his myspace page, so they may be out there before I get my copies. So, if you happen across a picture of me laying on the floor with a gorgeous redhead in a black bustier, miniskirt and high heeled boots standing over me, it was not taken at the local BDSM club,

It was just a fan expressing herself.

BTW, Suzanne. Congrats! You win the “creative fan award” this go around! (GRIN) And thanks to you and everyone else at 13 Magickal Moons as well. Y’all truly capped off the tour with a bang!

More to come…

Murv

PS. Suzanne has promised an entirely new Miranda outfit for my next visit later this year. I must confess, I’m looking forward to it.

Being the marketing whore I am, I belong to several e-lists, forums, and even social networking sites (other than MySpank here). I would like to point out, however, that I am more along the line of a high-priced call-marketer, rather than the street corner quickie. Why? Because I try to show a little class.

I take great pains to avoid being one of those incredibly ridiculous, in your face authors who twists any and all subjects around to a mention of their latest book. For example, say you have a thread where someone says “I like oranges”…If for some odd reason I was to throw my two cents in there, it would be something along the lines of “Yeah, me too. Especially the navel oranges because I don’t like seeds.” Whereas, some of the cheaper, street corner author-whores might seize upon that opportunity to post something like, “Well, if you like oranges you should read my latest novel because in chapter 15, my protagonist, Buck Naked, eats an orange before going out to track down the bad guy, Chronic Halitosis.”

I know…It sounds utterly ridiculous, doesn’t it? Well, even though I have never seen a post specifically about an orange, I have seen some just as convoluted…Some, even worse. We call this Blatant Shameless Self-Promotion. (BSSP or BSP) While self-promotion is an absolute must for authors, being so completely insane about it is…well…just icky.

What in blue blazes does this have to do with pink toenails? Not a damn thing. I just wanted to make it clear that while I’ll readily admit to being a whore, I’m neither cheap nor easy. And, “I gots class.”

Okay…So now that we have established that, back to the topic at hand. Actually, the above really does have some small amount to do with this– that being the fact that I belong to so many different lists, forums, and social networking interfaces on the web. What it comes down to is that I see a whole mess of discussions on a whole mess of different topics. Some of them so-so, some of them interesting.

And there you have it. One of these topics on a forum recently caught my attention. In fact, it has appeared on several forums, and even as commentary/questions in my personal email. While I didn’t feel a need to toss my two cents in on it at the time (nothing had been mentioned about oranges in any of the threads or emails, so why would I?) events of the last day have led me to blog about this subject…

The topic in question was, “What do authors do in their free time?”

Some of the speculation was interesting. People commented about different authors they had met in person, stating that they seemed like down to earth folks who would fit right in with their personal circle of friends. Some wondered if it was a taboo to offer to buy lunch for an author or would you be seen as a stalker (for the record, we like free lunches…but not stalkers.) Others waxed prophetic about how much fun we must be having in our multi-million dollar homes with the indoor-outdoor pools, and high-caliber celebrities coming over for parties. I am sincerely hoping that those commentaries were tongue in cheek, because I have yet to be issued my mansion and yacht…

So, in addition to the “wonder if authors hang out with their friends who knew them before they were authors” kind of questions (yes, we do, BTW), there were the typical “what’s a day in the life of an author like?”

Well…I could ramble on for hours, boring you with the details of getting up in the morning, getting my wife off to work, my daughter off to school, doing dishes. cleaning up cat barf from a geriatric, diabetic feline, spreading notes out on the table and plotting a chapter. Then, typing for a couple of hours, deciding it isn’t right and cutting and pasting for a while, only to go back and write it all over again. Making a fresh pot of coffee while eating a sandwich over the sink…Answering the phone only to discover that it is a radio interview you forgot you were supposed to do but your mouth is full of braunschwieger and swiss on whole wheat with a bread and butter pickle slice…So you wash it down and get on with the interview only to discover that the interviewer has never read your books, or even a synopsis–just two lines of the press release. Therefore, she has concluded that you must be an FBI agent and you spend 11 minutes of the 15 minute interview fielding questions you can’t possibly answer about the inner workings of Quantico while trying to convince her that you do NOT work for the FBI…Finally, you get that done and say to yourself “now where was I?”. You manage to get back to what you were doing (writing…after all, that’s what we do) and if you are lucky you get your self-imposed quota written for the day just in time to get your happy ass into the kitchen and make dinner before evil wife person and the kid get home…And, you do ALL of this without ever once wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches. (My preferred mode of dress is much classier. Cargo shorts, a t-shirt, tube socks, and if I have to run out to the post office or something, my tan Crocs…See a previous blog for details on those…)

Not very glamorous, eh? Kind of like going to the office, working on a project only to discover the data you got from Fred is wrong, so you have to redo half of it…however, you get interrupted by the boss because he/she needs you to stop what you are doing and take care of something else, even though it is something you aren’t qualified for and would be better done by Sally in accounting. Only to wind up your day picking up a bucket of chicken on the way home because the spouse has to take the kid to soccer practice. But, when you arrive late you discover the dog couldn’t hold it so he crapped in your living room…

See the parallel’s there?

“But, Murv! What the holy hell does this have to do with pink toenails?” you demand.

That should be obvious from paragraph 10. I have a daughter, and she’s at “that age.” No, not the age where she brings boys home and I sit in the living room cleaning guns. That’s a few years off yet. She’s still a munchkin and she is at that stage where she wants to be a girly girl (which is fine) but she also wants everyone around her to be pretty too.

So…What did this author do with his free time yesterday? After doing the grocery shopping and other exciting crap like that, he let his 7 year old daughter paint his toenails pink (along with a good portion of his toes).

My wife claims there’s no nail polish remover to be had in the house. I’m pretty sure she’s lying. I can tell by the evil grin.

Till the next time…

Murv