BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Part 2 of 12

Continued from: Mahwage: What’s A Nice Girl Like You…

As I said previously, our story actually begins, for lack of a better starting point, on January 28, 1986, the fateful day of the Challenger disaster…

By January of 1986 I had been out of a job for nearly 6 months. My position with American Home Video Corporation, (aka AHVC and VideoConcepts™),  had come into jeopardy the moment the then Tandy Corporation, (aka Radio Shack®, and now Radio Shack Corporation), had concluded a buyout deal and taken over the company. I was in middle management and, as many of you well know those are usually the first jobs to be purged and refilled. It’s more economical for a corporation to hire in cheaper help and train them from scratch rather than to keep paying salaries that have increased throughout years of service and try to re-train people who are already set in their ways under the old regime. It makes sense from a business standpoint. It doesn’t make it any easier to swallow though…

And so, there I was. Jobless and pretty much penniless. You see, I had been caught up in the “credit craze” of the early 80’s. Sign here and get a $1000 credit line… No money down, no payments for 6 months, $2500 instant credit… Just show us a valid driver’s license and a current credit card, and you too can have a credit line with us…

Now, this wasn’t a HUGE problem when I had a job. I am truly a responsible person for the most part, (But, I do have my moments, just like anyone else). I pay my bills and have no desire to be beholding to anyone for any longer than I absolutely must… However, since I had been caught up in the craze, I was single, had a great place to live where the rent was cheap, (see previous blog “There I was, Sitting By The Pool…” January 23, 2009), I had overextended myself. A new car, (because I desperately needed one), was the biggie, but then there were a lot of toys… Video camera, TV’s, Stereo, Computer Gadgets… I could go on and on… With income, I could pay my bills and have some pocket money. Without income, my savings dried up very fast, and unemployment simply didn’t meet the basic needs. I started falling behind in my bills, collectors were calling, and I wasn’t having much luck in the “finding a job” department.

While I had been in Sales/Sales Management with my most recent job, I had also kept my finger in the electronics repair end of things. That was really my first love… well, second actually, because writing is my first… and it was something I was very good at doing. However, the job market for techs was a bit depressed at the time, so I had taken the sales position with AHVC. Well, here I was a couple of years and a handful of months later, and the job market for techs hadn’t seemed to become any better. So, I was looking for either one – tech or sales, anything would do, although I preferred tech.

Well, I finally received a callback on my resume… The company was known as Crazy Dave’s ComputerTrend. (I just looked for some info about them on the net so I could provide a link, but didn’t find much of anything, probably because they went under a long, long time ago.) In a nutshell, ComputerTrend was a Midwestern chain of discount computer resellers. What we called them back in the day was a “computer whore”… What that meant was they undercut everyone. They even sold systems below cost in order to increase volume and make up the profit on the back end with  high margin accessories. They had radio commercials that sounded like an advertisement for a monster truck rally… Literally… An artificially excited voice screaming about the great deals you could get on MacIntosh computers, IBM computers, Epson printers, and so on… Their catch phrase, believe it or not, was – voice one: “But how much is it?” excited voice 2: “It’s cheaper than a toaster!”

Yeah, a toaster. I have no idea, so don’t ask me. The only thing we ever called a toaster in the computer biz were some of the old external drives, and back then they weren’t exactly cheap.

So, obviously, ComputerTrend wasn’t my first choice in jobs, but by this time I was desperate. The bill collectors were starting to get nasty, and I was willing to take just about anything involving a paycheck, even though said paycheck was likely to be, and definitely was, far, far less than I had been making before…

Moving on, the day came for my scheduled interview, January 28, 1986.  I was set up to be at the Olive Road location around noon that day. I rolled out of bed early, went through my normal routine, showered,  futzed about with a B B S I was running at the time, got dressed for the interview, then kicked back in front of the TV with a cup of coffee to watch the space shuttle launch.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with my love of the space program, I was born on 2/20/62 – the day John Glenn became the first American to orbit the earth. His Mercury space capsule was christened Friendship 7, and legend has it I came very close to being named John Glenn Sellars. At any rate, the space program has always held a special interest for me.

Well, quite obviously the rest of that shuttle launch is sad history… Roughly 73 seconds into the flight an “O” ring failed and Challenger disintegrated, killing the seven crew members and plummeted bit by bit into the Atlantic ocean. I watched, like countless others, in abject horror as the scene played out before me on the screen of a 27 inch JVC TV / Monitor, (I remember that particular detail because it had been purchased from my previous place of employment)…

Then came the words, “Flight controllers here looking very carefully at the situation. Obviously a major malfunction. We have no downlink… We have a report from the Flight Dynamics Officer that the vehicle has exploded.”

I was devastated. At that point I literally considered calling the ComputerTrend Store and seeing if I could reschedule my job interview. I know, that sounds a bit melodramatic, even to me. But, at the time I was in a state of shock, as were many others. And being such an avid follower of the space program, the disaster hit me very hard.

However, I also had a sense of responsibility. I knew I needed to restart my income, and soon. The job market had been softer than a marshmallow in July and I realized I couldn’t risk losing this opportunity. Little did I know it was about to become a life changing opportunity in more ways than simply a paycheck.

I gathered myself, spoke to a few folks on the phone who were just as shocked as I at what had happened with the Shuttle, then donned a tweed sport coat and headed out for my interview. I did, however, make an obvious geek statement: I wore a black armband. Fortunately, the interviewer watched the news and was enough of a geek himself  to appreciate it.

As stated earlier, what I really wanted was a tech position, but they didn’t have one. So, I interviewed for a floor sales position. While I had the necessary qualifications for the job, I was later told that what clinched it for me was my tech background. Some of the veteran sales folk at the store had already heard about my resume, and were all about having a “personal tech” on staff with them. You see, the St. Louis tech center for ComputerTrend serviced three separate stores, and while it was actually located just across the parking lot from the Olive Road location, the techs there had their hands full already.

So now, I was gainfully employed. Well, as gainfully as I could be under the circumstances…

Two weeks into my new job, life took yet another turn. I was finally able to shake loose from the other salespeople who had me doing tech support for their clients as well as configuring the hardware they had sold. I needed to sell something myself if I was going to make anything besides base draw salary. So, I worked the floor and almost immediately  sold a system.  I wrote it up and arranged for the customer to take delivery the next day since he wanted a custom configuration. Then I set my schedule so that I could visit the tech center the next morning. You see, the tech center wasn’t just where the repairs took place… It was also the warehouse, and I needed to obtain the components I had just sold in order to put them together.

Now, I have to add in a side note here: I had been told all about the tech center when I started on my first day. As it happened, there was a young lady working there named Erin. All of the men at the store were constantly panting over her, and rightly so. She was a good looking blonde with an ample chest. She was also an absolute sweetheart… Therefore, since I was male the other guys included me in their tellings of lustful fantasies over this young woman. I can still remember hearing repeatedly, “Just wait until you see Erin…” Well, I did. She came by the store a few times, and I had occasion to go by the tech center a few times, myself… However, I didn’t have the same reaction to her as the rest of the men, not because she wasn’t perfectly lovely, because she was, but, she simply didn’t affect me the way she did the rest of them.

Well, as it happened, I also knew there were more folks over at the tech center besides Erin. There was a man by the name of Phil, and I had the opportunity to meet him as well. Very nice guy. But, there was also another woman by the name of Kathy – she was the manager. We had not yet crossed paths because she was either out sick or on vacation whenever I happened to be over at the tech center. So, since I was hoping to eventually snag a position as a tech,  I asked the salespeople at the store about her. Their response was, “Dude, watch out for Kathy…  She’s a real bitch…” Thing is, they were serious…

Okay, they had worked with her, I hadn’t, so I took them at their word. Obviously this Kathy person was someone I needed to give a wide berth if I valued job, life, and limb…

Back to the story…

I arrived at the store early that day so I could run across the lot and pick up the components I needed for the sale I had made the evening before. Now understand, we are talking in terms of a large shopping center so it wasn’t right next door or anything,  therefore I drove my car over in order to be able to load up the boxes and take them back to the store proper. I entered the foyer of the tech center which had a wall blocking the windows so that you couldn’t see into the back area where the techs were working and stock was stored, a bit of a security measure I suppose. Proceeding inward I rounded the corner in hopes of seeing Phil or maybe even Erin, since I already knew them… Besides, I really didn’t want to come face to face with this psychotic, misanthropic bitch named Kathy. I had enough to worry about with bill collectors and the like breathing down my neck, so I didn’t need a manager type to decide she hated me and get me fired.

But, when I made the turn and looked up from picking my way through stacks of boxes, there was no Phil or Erin in sight. What met my eyes, however, was an absolute vision…Yeah, be warned, this is where it gets Hallmark Channel™ sappy, because I remember it as vividly as if it was a color picture hanging on the wall in front of my face right this very minute…

There, perched on a stool in front of a tech bench, and working on an I T T Xtra P C Compatible C P U, was this petite woman. She had shoulder length, brown hair that held just a minor hint of auburn when the light caught it just so.  Her complexion was a pale ivory, with a few freckles here and there. She was wearing a white blouse, a black and red horizontally striped button down sweater, a black skirt with a hemline that came to just above her knees, and black leather, mid-heeled pumps. Her legs were crossed casually and ladylike. She had a tech manual open on one side of the C P U while wielding a screwdriver in her hand. She turned slowly and regarded me with a flat, “Yeah, what the f*ck do you want?” kind of expression tweaking her delicate features.

She was, no doubt in my mind, the Kathy Monster I had been warned to avoid.

But, much like my reaction to Erin, I had a completely different take than the other folks about this petite dynamo. I did not wet my pants and flee from the tech center as had been predicted by the veterans… No… I stood there and began to sweat as my heart started pounding in my ears. My knees felt like Jello and my feet felt like bags of wet cement. I know I began talking, but I couldn’t possibly tell you what I said… I suspect it was something on the order of incoherent babbling because the Kathy Monster simply sat there staring at me like I had lost my mind… Eventually, I managed to get myself together and pick up the items I had come to retrieve, all the while having a hell of a time taking my eyes off this woman. I think I even tripped and stumbled once or twice, effectively making myself look like an even bigger idiot than I already had with my nonsensical blithering.

By the time I returned to my car with the components, and was preparing to shuttle them back over to the store, my heart still had not settled. It was bouncing around inside my head, and blood was rushing in my ears like whitewater rapids… I felt lightheaded, and even giddy with excitement. I think I sat in the driver’s seat and glazed over for several minutes… After a healthy measure spent trying to make myself stop hyperventilating, I asked aloud this simple question:

“What the f*ck is wrong with you, Sellars?”

I didn’t have to wait for an answer because it was already sitting on my shoulder, bludgeoning me in an attempt to get my attention. In that moment it became crystal clear…

I had just fallen in love.

More to come…

Murv

… NEXT:  Mahwage: Money I Don’t Have…

If this blog post seems a bit odd – as if I am not entirely sure to whom I am speaking – well, there’s a reason for that.  I am actually posting it in two platforms. Depending upon where you happen to have your browser pointed while reading this will determine your next choice.

Choose one:

• Here, on the fresh, new, WordPress incarnation of Brainpan Leakage, and over yonder on the old, rickety, Myspace version.
• Here on the old, rickety, Myspace incarnation of Brainpan Leakage and over yonder on the fresh, new, WordPress version.

Okay, now that we have the flowchart crap out of the way, let’s get down to business.

Some of you might be wondering about my decision to move my blog, so rather than field questions in email, I have elected to be preemptive about it and give you an explanation here.  First off,  given some of the email I have already received, I suspect I need to run down some of the basic points:

1. I will no longer be posting full-fledged blog entries on Myspace after the one you are currently reading. All of my blogging will be done via the new WordPress interface, and you can easily subscribe to it by surfing yourself over to www.mrsellars.com/mrblog
2. My Myspace page is not going to go away. Well, let me qualify that – I am not going to make it go away. If Tom hits the wrong key on his keyboard while adding a new video and accidentally tosses my page into the void, well, there’s not a whole lot I can do about that. Talk to him.
3. There will still be something resembling posts on my Myspace blog. Kinda… As I said in point number 1, they will NOT be full blown blog entries. What they will be is a snippet of text combined with a link to the WordPress blog entry. They will show up as a title in the blog listing, just like normal. An example of this is the entry just prior to this one, entitled Day-Jah-Voooo. Some of you have already discovered this and made your way over to the new blog.
4. It is up to you. The blog entries can still be read by going through Mysapce, dinking around with their link security, and ending up at the new blog. This, however, does add steps for you. It would probably be easier to simply subscribe to the new version and avoid the hassle. But, like I said, that is entirely up to you.

Now, I suppose I should address the burning question: Why the move?

Simple really. In fact, the title of this blog entry says it all. But, to take that compressed, dessicated gist of the answer and reconstitute it, I will borrow – and paraphrase – a Dr. Harold W. Smith line from the movie Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins…

“Myspace is a great social networking tool, my boy, but its blog interface doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to…”

Truth is, paraphrased or no, that may not be entirely accurate. The Myspace  Blog Interface might just work EXACTLY the way it is supposed to. However, the fact remains that it doesn’t work very effectively. In fact, it just plain sucks. While you are all probably well aware of this, I shall endeavor to explain anyway…

It all began a tad over two years ago when I started blogging in November of 2006. That is when I was dragged, kicking and screaming, into having a Myspace page to begin with.  I have yet to forgive either of my publicists for that, even though it was an incredibly wise and smart decision for them to knock me over the head and deposit me there/here (choose one). They often make wise decisions on my behalf, then force me to become involved whether I like it or not. That’s just how they are. And, while what they do is good for my career as an author, I can still hold a grudge like a cat who just got a bath.

But, I guess I am doing that digressing thing again…

So, anyway, while there have been many, many blog entries in the original incarnation of Brainpan Leakage, what you, the readers can’t possibly know, is that you have missed probably an equal number of entries that never made it to the screen. Why? See the above opinion about the state of the Myspace Blog Interface (or perhaps it would be easier to call it, the MBI).

In a nutshell, the MBI has unceremoniously gone into la-la land when I have tried to post entries, sending whatever inane ramblings I had just typed into the ether, never to be seen again. On other occasions, it has suddenly wiped the screen free of those nasty, annoying words right in the middle of me typing them – usually when I am about 3/4 of the way through with the entry. Given that typing is a big part of how I make my living, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me that caused the sudden disappearance. I actually do know my way around a keyboard…

Now, I thought maybe I could circumvent this whole vanishing issue by typing my blogs in Word, or even notepad, then cutting and pasting. Well, that didn’t work out so good. You see, our friends at Microsquish love to embed control codes. The Myspace blog interface is not set up to handle them, and unfortunately no amount of editing – via wysiwyg or html – will allow you to remove them completely. They just keep reappearing and making the text of the blog go all fribble-dee-frabbit. (Yes, sometimes I make up my own words.)

On top of all that, even if you make the blog publically viewable, there are a ton of folks who A) Avoid Myspace like the plague under any and all circumstances or B) Don’t know that you don’t have to have a Myspace account to see a publically viewable blog, and therefore resort to option A.

The last straw, the one that broke the proverbial camel’s back, came just a few days ago when I typed in about 75% of a blog and it suddenly went poof right before my eyes. It was a long blog, but it was one that might well have entertained folks. It was yet another rambling about a clacking domino inside my head as my brain endeavors to download all of the memories I have stored there over my almost half century of existence. But the operative points here are long, 75% finished, and poof.

I was, to say the least, pissed. My calm was damaged. I said many very nasty words, more than once, and aloud. Loud aloud. I think I might have even called Tom a big doody head, what with him being the Myspace ambassador and all.

I suppose I could have spent time retyping it, which probably would have been more entertaining than what you are reading right now, but I didn’t. Instead, I opted to spend that time, plus a little more, to find a better way, in order that my calm no longer be in danger of getting damaged, and Tom could go on about his business without wondering if I was calling him names behind his back.

And, I believe I found one…

My new blog interface is extremely robust. It has autosaved drafts, so there’s no more silly losing of blog entries going on. It is incredibly customizable with widgets, skins, features, and has amazing editability. It is accessible by EVERYONE with an internet connection. It allows for not only common tags but customizable tags as well. There are pingbacks, feeburns, remarkable handling of images and links, notification emails, an easy to navigate dashboard… I could go on and on…and on some more after that…

Yeah, just slap a red wig and some high heels on it and I would marry the damn thing, I’m so in love with it…

And so, there you have it. I’m having an illicit affair with a piece of software. Don’t tell EK.

So, back to the slightly serious… I have now officially “migrated” all of the blog entries from the Myspace version, starting at the beginning posts from November 2006. Well, not ALL… Just the entries with good, timeless content, which worked out to somewhere around 3/4 of them. The rest were contest announcements and such which were dated and weren’t really worth  the time and effort to bother moving.

Hopefully, that answers the question(s). If it doesn’t, well, I am certain I will hear from you.

Okay… Now that the explaining is over I am going to go play with the dominos and see what kind of leak they manage to create this time…

More to come…

Murv