BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

I’ll take some heat for this, but hey, when don’t I?

However, before I say what I am going to take heat for, I would like to point out that I am not targeting any single religious group. I’m not actually targeting anyone. I am, however, finding myself confounded by those who who offer up religion – or deity, more specifically – as an excuse. And that goes for any and all religious paths – be the reference aimed at God, Lord and Lady, God and Goddess, Buddha, ad infinitum…

Here’s why…

Friday – GOOD Friday, mind you, just in case you are keeping track – Saint Louis experienced one of the worst tornadoes and storm systems it has in years. Fact is, this whole spring has been wicked for the Midwest and South. Here in STL we’ve had more hail and tornadoes for one season than I can remember. I don’t know if that’s a historical fact. I’m simply relying on my memory. Thing is, it’s been rough. From New Year’s Eve, through February, and on into spring we’ve had tornadoes touching down, and storms rolling through with straight line winds, hail, and all the trimmings. Plenty of damage too…

This past Friday’s storm put down a twister that is currently being estimated at an EF3. It did millions of dollars worth of damage to Lambert STL Airport, which incidentally is where I fly from on a regular basis, and is also just a scant few miles from my house. It all but leveled one subdivision as well, and caused immense amounts of damage to others. This isn’t even counting what it did to the West in Saint Charles County and to the East in Illinois.

Yet, injuries were minor, and so far I’ve heard no reports whatsoever of loss of life. This is a wonderful thing. My way of thinking is that because of technology and connectivity, folks were informed and prepared. We live in a vastly different world than that of 100 years ago. Hell, it’s vastly different than that of when I was a kid my daughter’s age. Back then you really had no idea what was coming until it was right on top of y0u. Now, it’s a whole different story and if you are paying attention to the radio, the TV, the internet, or even your phone, you can take cover with time to spare…

Hey, even E K, the O-spring, and I spent some time hanging out in our basement when the tornado began to cut its swath through our area. We were technically in its path, and they can change direction. Better safe than sorry. Technology. It can save lives. Gotta love it…

But here’s my thing…

No matter where I’ve turned – the news, Facebook, email, in person conversations – I keep hearing things like:

Thank God, nobody was seriously hurt.

Thank the Lord and Lady you’re okay…

etc…

Now, I should mention, I certainly appreciate the sentiments and I am glad that people are glad that I am okay – and that everyone else is okay too.  Trust me, I get it. I appreciate it. I thank you for it. I’m glad that I am okay too. I’m glad that nobody was seriously hurt, be they my friends or even total strangers.

But let’s look at this a bit closer – Since all of these deities – (if one subscribes to the beliefs) – are responsible for everything that happens – (God’s will, Buddha provides, the Lord and Lady have plans for me/you/us/them, ad nauseum…) – they are also directly responsible for raining down said destruction upon us.

So… Why are we thanking them for this? Kinda reeks of a fraternity hazing, doesn’t it? Sorry, but I’m not about to look up to the sky and say, “Thank you, may I have another?”

Nope. The only divine intervention I am seeing here is that of Doppler radar, high resolution satellites, TV, Radio, Internet, and Smart Phones…

What’s that?

Ohh… Well… Umm… Well yeah… You are correct… I will look up at E K and say “Thank you, may I have another,” but that’s a whole different story and we won’t discuss it on a PG rated blog…

More to come…

Murv

PS. Just so nobody gets the wrong idea, I’m very glad everyone is okay, and escaped with only minor injuries, if any at all.  I also feel for those who lost their homes, etc. I’m just not going to ascribe any good fortune to an unseen deity who is also theoretically responsible for the disaster in the first place…

I could just as easily have called this Hell House: Welcome To Hell…

I’ll explain that in just a sec. Keep reading. Or don’t. But then you’ll never know the answer…

You see, I was listening to NPR the other day. I do that a lot. Either NPR or CD’s. It’s not that I believe they are completely fair and balanced in their reporting. There is no such organization. Even back when I was learning from Martha Ackmann that the primary goal of the journalist is to be objective and report the news, the professionals out there doing it had biases bleeding through their words. Now, it seems like it’s even worse. Or maybe it’s just that my idealism committed suicide somewhere around my 30th birthday and I was suddenly able to see the emperor’s new clothes for what they really were… or weren’t as the case may be.

However, I’m chasing a whole different chicken with that. Take notice, I said chasing, not choking… Let’s not get the title confused with the prose.

So, anyway, I was listening to NPR and they had an allergist on there who was doing a study about some manner or regional pine tree allergy in the PNW that had gone undiagnosed and untreated in thousands of people over the years. In the process he was giving some basic info about how allergies work, how they form, and how it can be different for certain folks. Like being born with them, or being exposed to an allergen in small amounts over a long period of time – sorta like death by saccharin, if you believe that effed up study.

And, in some cases, a massive exposure to an allergen triggering a reaction that just sticks with you for the rest of forever.

Enter, Hell House…

If you’ve read my previous blogs on the subject of Hell House, then you know that when my father passed, part of his estate was a house that my sister and I now own. With my sis being far and away, the bulk of the duties regarding upkeep have fallen to me. If you want all those gory details, with pictures, just look up the Hell House blogs here on BL.

But back to those damnable fornicating avians and insects…

The previous tenant to whom my father had been renting Hell House was all about plants, and had quite the weed patch going in the exceptionally large back yard. I say weed patch because if a plant isn’t a tree, grass, or something that produces an edible fruit, root, berry, or seed that I would find on my plate during a meal, then as far as I’m concerned it’s a weed.

Now that we’re on the same page… When the tenant moved out we had to do some work to the place before re-renting it. Part of that work involved cleaning up the weed patch, which ended up happening in the fall when everything was going to seed. E K and I spent countless hours one weekend, mowing, digging, chopping, and stuffing dried up, alien kudzuish whatevers into yard barges. The work was hard, sweaty, dirty, nasty, and otherwise unpleasant, but it needed to be done. And, if there’s one thing I can say it’s that E K and I do not run from hard work.

However, by the time we arrived home and I had myself a nice hot shower, something began to happen. My entire body itched, my face turned into a misshapen Murv balloon, and breathing was no longer a concept my body could wrap said balloon head around. Fortunately, a healthy dose of Benadryl re-enabled my ability to process oxygen, but it didn’t even take the edge off my case of the miserables.

Not long after that I heard the Doc on NPR.

I’d never had allergies before. Now I do. Every time the avians, insects, and weeds engage in their inter-species orgy of public fornication – spring and fall – I turn into a dwarf with an identity crisis. I can’t decide if my name is Itchy, Sneezy, Stuffy, Snotty, or Achey.

So, Hell House: 157, Merp: 0

Oh well… at least I’m not allergic to sex.

More to come…

Murv