BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

With a title like that to start this off I can imagine you might be thinking, “Oh no, not another End Of Days blog. Has Sellars bought into the whole end of the world prophecy nonsense all because of a earthquake?”

Come on… You know me better than that.

However, could we be talking about the end of something else? Because of the changes in tech, newspapers are folding everywhere, and I don’t mean just so they can be laid upon a table. Columnists are penning their farewell letters for page 7D – or 2A, 6F, ad nauseum – as they retire, or go in search of different outlets for their creativity. In some cases though I have to wonder if it is more that they have just run out of things to say.

I’ve been blogging, twice weekly, here on Brainpan Leakage for several years now. It began sporadically, often times just being announcements about where I would be on book tours or something of that sort. Then it grew into a public debriefing about the places I’d been on said travels. Before long it turned into a regular “column,” so to speak. A venting of my woes, a story from my past, a story from my future – those were always the hardest to write. And yes, an occasional blip about where I would be, where I had been, or special sale on books about which I had been made aware.

But now, sitting here this morning, I have to wonder… Is this the end? Blogging takes work. It takes energy. It takes time. Over the years I cannot say that I have been able to measure any appreciable gain in book sales because of my blogging, so what does it get me? I haven’t received any awards (the kind with cash prizes attached, I mean). No movie deals… No television deals… Not even a bag of Cheezy Poofs or Snacky Cakes…

Moreover, sex certainly has not been any better because of it (of course, that’s a whole ‘nother blog, and by that, I don’t mean blog entry, I mean whole ‘nother blog and it would definitely be NSFW, but I digress…)

So with all of that in mind, why go on? Perhaps it is time time to plug the leak and skulk back off into the sunset… Maybe, just maybe, I’ve said all I’ve had to say. Perhaps there’s nothing left in my noggin’ that is funny, poignant, or even blog worthy.

Or… I suppose it could just be that I have a really wicked sinus headache this morning…

More to come…

Murv

If you are a regular around here, you know that for the most part, Brainpan Leakage is a satire blog. If you aren’t a regular around here, you need only read the description of the blog, and you should be able to figure it out. However, in this day and age of instant gratification and lack of fact checking, something of which I am occasionally guilty myself, there are often kneejerk reactions to my ramblings here.

Of course, most of you are also well aware that like the proverbial morning cup of coffee and a healthy magazine read in the porcelain room, my day simply is not complete until I have offended someone. The earlier the better, IMHO. That way I can knock off work early and relax. And, as we’ve seen in the past, Wednesdays and Sundays whenever a new blog deploys are the most likely days for early dismissal from the salt mines.

That said, let’s get down to something good and offensive.

“What might that be?” you wonder.

“Well, I’ll tell you,” I say. “Blog comments.”

You see, while I do screen the blog comments for the purpose of keeping spam/blam from making it through, I have no problem approving just about anything, even if you disagree with me. Knock yourself out. If we all had the same opinion then the world would be a very boring place.

However, if you elect to do so, you need to bear in mind that I am just like a comic on stage. If you heckle me, I will heckle you right back.

Case in point… Several months ago I posted a blog that offended a young lady. I say lady because she’s female. For all I know she isn’t a lady at all, but I digress. At any rate, she posted a ridiculously pedantic diatribe on the public comment portion of the blog, taking me to task for being a closed-minded idiot, more or less. While she didn’t actually use the word idiot, as I recall, her intent was clear.

So, good on her. No problem. She took me to task in public, so I heckled her in public. Still, being the nice guy that I really and truly am, I heckled an “anonymous” individual. I didn’t name names, nor provide a link to her FB page, or any of the other things I could have done.

And what do you think happened? Yeah, that’s right. She worked herself up a big ol’ mad and sent me a scathing, nasty email. Now, not only was I a closed minded idiot, I was also a big doody-head for having the unmitigated gall to heckle her.

Do I care? No. I don’t. She obviously needs both an anger management class, and to, as my dear friend Doc Witt says, “shop for a sense of humor on eBay.”

So, the moral of the story?

Simple. You don’t get to call me names with impunity. You don’t get to “yell” at me because I posted something you don’t like on MY blog with impunity.

Just in case you don’t know the word impunity, I’ll save you the trip to dictionary.com – it means, “exempt from the detrimental effects, as of actions.”

So, what I’m saying is, if you feel the absolute need to do any of the above, more power to you. Just don’t act so damned surprised, hurt, put-out, emotionally scarred, and otherwise umbraged when I bite back.

In fact, you’d best be glad it’s me and not E K. She does way more than just bite…

More to come…

Murv