BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Yeah… That’s usually what E K says right about the time she is stomping on my head, or slapping me around with a frying pan. It usually comes on the heels of her saying, “You’re really ASKING for it!” Next thing I know I’m on the floor, flat on my back, with her standing on my chest screaming, yeah, you guessed it, “You ASKED for it!”

(In all honesty I probably did, but that’s not the point…)

However, let’s get back to this asking thing, because this time “You Asked For It” isn’t all about a beatdown from The Redhead. In this case it actually pertains to a goodly number of you folks who are regular readers of Brainpan Leakage. You see, over the years I have engaged in that widely used guerrilla marketing tactic known as “branded swag”… You know, logoed / embossed apparel, coffee mugs, etc, just like you get from corporate vendors every Christmas. Yeah, that sort of stuff. Only mine is way cooler than the stuff you get from some random widget company…

So, anyway, throughout the years folks have been pretty excited about such things as the Miranda and Free Felicity Tee-Shirts, Coffee Mugs with various quotes from the RGI characters, and other such sundries. However, for the past year or so I haven’t been putting any of that stuff out there. Apparently this has been an issue for quite a few folks, because in recent months not only have I been receiving a major load of email asking where and/or when such items as listed above can be obtained, but there have been a ton of requests for Brainpan Leakage Swag… Most notably Evil Kat Brainpan Leakage Swag. It seems a lot of you ladies seriously identify with her and some of you men want to… well… let me just say, “Back off, dudes. She’s mine.” (Well…actually, I’m hers, but that’s just a matter of semantics… Don’t tell her I said that, okay?)…

Besides, she will hurt you… Like blow your deductible out of the water hurt you… I mean it… We’re seriously talking you’d better have AFLAC kind of hurt you…

Of course, if you want a Tee-Shirt with The Evil Redhead on it, I can live with that. (And, so can you because you will still be able to function in daily life without the aid of medical equipment and round the clock care.)

But seriously… I really and truly have had a ton of requests for more Swag and especially E K Swag.

So, since many of you asked for it, I worked out a deal with On The Edge Graphics, the crew that creates the killer posters and advertising stuff for my books, and the folks responsible for some of the artwork on the early RGI Swag. Between my own limited artistic ability and their superior talent, some new Swag has been born and they have set up an official web store. Since demand doesn’t always translate into sales, this is being done through Cafepress much like I used to do it, however the markups are minimal. Basically, just enough to cover expenses AND allow a charitable donation to a wildlife / conservation organization of E Kay’s choice from a portion of the proceeds on anything bearing her signature or caricatured likeness.

As of this writing, the store is still being set up, “stocked”, and all that jazz, however, it is officially open. More Swag is coming, and some of the old classics are going to be revamped and re-issued.

So, there you go:

On The Edge Graphics Cafepress Store

…You asked for it, you got it… (Why do I feel like I should be ending that ditty with “Toy-oh-tah!”?)

More to come…

Murv

We have a server based LAN in our house. I suppose it stemmed from being a computer guy for so many years, but since we have several systems, both desktop and notebook, it seemed logical to keep all of the shared files in one place. Over the years of remodeling, etc, CAT-5E has been threaded through the walls, high-speed switches mounted, wireless access points added for convenience, and the whole nine yards. Because of this, the computing power and peripheral device integration in our home has increased exponentially over the years, thereby becoming an important part of our lives where household management and even personal management of my profession is concerned.

Still, no matter how much computing, printing, scanning, or communications power all these electronic devices have, they are still nothing more than machines.

Then something happened that made me question that notion…

“Dammit…” E K muttered.

Her exclamation was followed by several angry sounding beeps, all punctuated by the staccato clicking of something patently plastic in sound. Several more beeps filled the air, then came a hard, bass chord that seemed to say, “stop right there!”

A frustrated yowl – much the same as one would hear coming from an angry Siamese feline – caught in The Evil Redhead’s throat, rumbling back at the noise as if a cat fight were about to ensue. Given the sound, my guess is that possibility was only off by a single letter, that being a K instead of a C followed by an at.

“DAMMIT!” she hissed, this time with far more feeling.

All of this was occurring behind my back – literally…

I was seated at my desk, answering email and generally enjoying my five minute break from being E Kay’s personal lackey. She’s occasionally generous like that. On Christm… I mean Katsmas, she even lets me have a whole 15 minute break, though usually not all at once. There are after all her needs to be considered, and they greatly outweigh my need for a break, or so I am told.

But anyway, I was just entering minute 2 of my serendipitous 5 minute break – the first one I’d been granted since Katsmas, mind you – and her grumbling started. I considered remaining quiet in hopes that she would forget that I was even in the room, but I knew it was a lost cause. E K misses nothing.

Resigning myself to the fact that I had no choice but the forfeit the remaining 3 minutes of my break, I spoke up.

“Oh High Exalted Queen Of All that Is,” I began – that’s what she makes me call her, you see – “What seems to be the problem?”

She let out an extremely frustrated sigh, then hissed back at me, “The network won’t let me access anything. It says I’m a threat.”

It was at this moment I realized our network was more than just a bunch of machines strung together by wires and high frequency signals. It had somehow become the thing computer scientists have been striving to create since the first faint glow of UNIVAC’s vacuum tubes.

I mean, just think about it for a minute… A pile of circuitry and wiring recognized the fact that E K is… well…evil… and it considers her a threat to the network. I don’t know about you, but I’d call that some pretty sophisticated Artificial Intelligence.

More to come…

Murv