BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

If you aren’t from – or in my case, intimately familiar with since I live here – the Saint Louis area, you are probably not going to have any idea what I am talking about. Most likely, the only other way you would have a clue about this is if you happened to have seen a documentary on PBS back in 2003 called “Sandwiches You Will Like,” and even then you might be scratching your head…Unless you happen to remember the segment on the “St. Paul Sandwich.”

For those of you who still haven’t any clue what I am on about, please allow me to explain.

Among foods that hail from St. Louis – and some that even remain totally unique to STL – such as Toasted Ravioli, Gooey Butter Cake, Slingers, etc, there is a delicacy known as the “St. Paul Sandwich“. Now, the thing about this sandwich is that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with St. Paul, Minnesota as one would surmise from its name. Why it has this name no one really knows. How it got invented – Well, that’s a mystery too…Either way, it is a creation hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, and for some reason remaining here almost exclusively – though rumor has it you can now obtain one in San Francisco. (I cannot say this is a true fact as I have not been to SF to attempt finding one)… Anyhow, the St. Paul is something you get from a Chinese restaurant…Yeah, a Chinese restaurant. Obviously, we are talking Americanized Chinese food here, but what the hell – it’s a St. Paul Sandwich by the Gods!

So, what exactly IS a St. Paul Sandwich? Simple, really – it is an egg foo young patty (flavor of choice – beef, chicken, whatever) sans gravy. It is then placed between two slices of plain, white sandwich bread – To be PROPER, the bread should in fact be Wonder Bread–, since Wonder is big here and we have a local Wonder factory/bakery and all – anyway, add to that, at the bare minimum, dill pickle slices (not sweet, must be dill) and a bit of mayo. Some restaurants will embellish with sliced tomato and a bit of lettuce as well, which is always nice.

So there you have it… The St. Paul Sandwich – Saint Louis comfort food. A veritable bit of perfection between two slices. Good for what ails ya’. Happiness on bread. Lunch. Dinner. A late night snack..The whole nine yards…

“But, Murv…” you say as you pause with a confused expression on your face before launching into the crux of your question. “The title of this blog is The St. Storm Sandwich, not The Saint Paul Sandwich. What gives?”

You are correct…That IS the title…Why? Because, like all of my other characters, Detective Benjamin Storm has a mind of his own, and while he likes St. Pauls, he prefers to put a bit of a twist on them (as does this author…) Therefore, I present to you…

The Saint Storm Sandwich

Obviously, you have to start with Egg Foo Young Patties sans gravy, your flavor of choice (Ben prefers beef and sometimes pork. The author, on the other hand, is fond of vegetable EFY. The tricky part here is that the author happens to be an accomplished cook, whereas Ben’s expertise in the kitchen extends about as far as making a grilled cheese sandwich using aluminum foil and a steam iron. Therefore, the author makes his own egg foo young. Ben, on the other hand, picks his up from Happy Wok Express [see: Never Burn A Witch]. He simply orders it without the gravy then takes them home and assembles the sandwich himself. Although, being a regular at the Happy Wok, he has convinced them to keep the non-standard ingredients in the walk-in, and they have been known to make the sandwiches for him at times.)

INGREDIENTS:

Egg Foo Young Patty, no gravy, flavor of choice

Two slices of dark rye bread (NOTE: Author prefers a nice multi-grain instead, although the rye is a nice change of pace at times.)

Horseradish-Sharp Cheddar Cheese Spread

Salad Dressing (Ben and Author both prefer Spin Blend, another midwestern product…)

Thinly sliced tomato

Dill pickle slices

Crispy fried bacon strips

PREPARATION:

Toast bread. Place a thin layer of salad dressing on one slice and a generous layer of horseradish-cheese spread on the other. Layer EFY patty, tomato, pickles, and several strips of bacon on top of first bread slice. If you are especially hungry, double the number of EFY patties, pickles, tomato, and bacon then repeat layer. Top with second bread slice. Enjoy with a cold beer.

Special Note: Double-decker St. Storms are usually reserved for when you are drunk and cannot comprehend that your mouth probably won’t fit around it. Generally, author will eat one (1) regular St. Storm. Ben, however, usually consumes a bare minumum of three (3).

So, there you have it… No, I’m not kidding. If you don’t have access to decent EFY like Ben, and you are proficient in the kitchen, I’ll be happy to pass along my personal recipe for the “egg foo” itself.

More to come…

Murv

Yes… “STAFF” infection, NOT Staph Infection. That was what the monstrous, hyper-infectious, killer strain of “walking death influenza” was dubbed at this years Samhain Florida Pagan Gathering. Primarily, because patient zero infected several members of the festival staff, who then unwittingly shared it with other staff, then attendees, then speakers, etc. I just happened to be one of the lucky masses to be infected with extreme prejudice. Somewhere around late morning on Friday last I started feeling like crap. By that evening, I was pretty much laid up with a fever and hacking cough that was threatening to send one or both of my lungs flying across the room at supersonic speed. Not a good thing.

Even so, a good time was had. I bunked in with Dorothy Morrison and her husband Mark on one side of the cabin, along with my wife (Evil Kat) and my offspring. On the other side of the cabin was my dear friend Kristin Madden and her son Karl, as well as another set of great buds, Z and Hardee. Even with the attack of the “Staff Infection”, we still got to visit and have a great time. I had a chance to visit with another dear friend, Chuck Cook. Unfortunately, his wife and kids weren’t able to make it this go around, but hopefully we will catch up with them in the not too distant future. I also got to visit with, and even square dance with, my old friend Ann Moura. And, of course, I spent some time with my buds John & Brandie (aka THAT Moonfire!) and their crew. To top it off, I got to meet and kibbitz with Kirk White, an author I had heretofore only known via email.

The fest was well attended, as usual- rumor has it they even broke a record. The workshops were great and we all signed tons of books for festivalgoers. Other than the staff infection I only had two regrets – one being that Paul, our beloved guardian and firetender was not present, as he had just had surgery to remove a brain tumor. Fortunately, we received news that he is doing great, healing quicker than expected, and that the tumor turned out to be completely benign! (Yay!!) So, I’m looking forward to seeing him next go around. Just to make things right, however, someone produced a life size cutout picture of Paul’s face, and we all had pictures taken with it in groups, individually, at at various events throughout the fest so that he could be there with us, even if he wasn’t. My other regret would be that I didn’t get to make my annual pilgrimage down to Rowangrove, which is Druydess’s camp. She’s a lovely gal, tremendous hostess, and her whole crew is a blast to hang with. Every year I make sure to stop by for a few drinks and an hour or two of intelligent, witty, innuendo filled banter. Unfortunately, being laid up with the “infection” I was in no condition to drink, I wasn’t particularly witty- nor intelligent- and I would have hated to spread the virus any farther than it had already gone.

So, FPG was a blast, even with the infection and regrets. I do feel it a moral imperative to say the following- Rayne, of guest services was fantastic! She took care of us like you wouldn’t believe, making sure that we had our cabin cooler filled with goodies and ice, extra blankets (yeah, there was actually a cold snap in Florida, can you believe it?), food, etc. She even had her minions cart our cases of books back and forth between the cabin and tables. As far as we were concerned, she was the Guest Services Goddess! And, as wonderful as the rest of the staff was and is, I also must single out my favorite Guardian, Trauma. She is an absolute sweetheart, and she saw to it that I was well taken care of from the medical standpoint. (Of course, prior to becoming infected, she also tagged me with her infamous “Flaming Dr. Pepper”, but that’s a whole ‘nother story…)

Now…On to some other stuff…That being, “Nasty Rumors”…

When filling out my speaker info packet for FPG, as a joke I put a few notes under “special requirements”… The notes were something to the effect that Dorothy Morrison was old and decrepit and would require a wheelchair. I also added that Kristin Madden is a whiny diva who would demand that she get anything Morrison got, and therefore they should have one for her too.

Now…The staff of FPG knows us well, and they knew this was a joke. They posted it on their official website, as a joke. Some of you may even remember Dorothy, Kristin, and me blogging back and forth at one another about this, and generally having a great time with it.

Unfortunately, someone who doesn’t know us read the blurb on the FPG site, and took offense. They felt that Kristin was being seriously disrespected, and were worried that Dorothy was on her deathbed.

So…Let us quell the rumors. Dorothy Morrison is like my big sister. Kristin Madden is like my little sister. Yeah, I’m the middle child…guess that explains it, eh? (Grin)….Either way, we pick back and forth at one another all the time. It is all good natured fun, and it is how we interact. If you see us in person, all together, you will see one hell of a show. And, if I do say so myself, we are pretty damned entertaining– Well, we amuse ourselves, so hey, what more can we ask… Suffice it to say, there was no disrespect toward Kristin “Don’t Call Me Kirsten” Madden, nor is Dorothy “Older Than Dirt” Morrison in ill health. It was just us kids joking around with one another. End of story.

Trust me, if we ever get mad at one another you won’t see us bickering. There will just be three smoking holes left where we each once stood. But, I can pretty much guarantee you that such will never happen, so no worries there.

Okay, I need to go check on Evil Kat since she is now dealing with the Staff Infection. I’ll leave you with a few pictures…

Thought I was kidding about the square dancing, didn’t you?

More to come…

Murv