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  • I Would Fly 1000 Miles…

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    …just to be the man who ate a cheese-burr-gerrrrrrr.

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    Okay… I know, I know… Enough with massacring the Proclaimer’s tune… They sing it way better than I do anyway.

    So, I ran my mouth about my recent travel experience to and from Ohio, nothing new about that. I run my mouth all the time. But, there are a couple of other things I also did this go around.

    The first is, I filled out the online questionnaire the airline kept harping about. Usually I don’t do that sort of stuff because I simply don’t have the time, but I figured what the hell.

    Now here’s the thing. I did NOT piss and moan. Well, not much… After all, I had already written the 4 part blog about the trip and put the posts into the queue for deployment, so all of my pissing and moaning was pretty much finished. Anywho, to be honest I actually gave them a pretty good review. I even lauded praise upon a gate agent at Chicago O’Hare for her professional handling of a sticky situation with a young pilot who in my opinion was in need of an anger management class. I mean, adults generally don’t throw screaming fit temper tantrums when they don’t get their way – especially in front a terminal full of people… But then, maybe that’s just the way I see things, and we all know I see things differently than most…

    But back to that online thing… When the questions got around to asking if I was delayed for more than 15 minutes on any particular flight/connection, I told the truth and said yes.

    I honestly don’t know if it was my answers on the questionnaire, or something that the airline took it upon themselves to do simply because they are wonderful people. I’m inclined to believe it is option #1, but at any rate, I received the following in the mail:


    Since Ms. Elizabeth Reed, General Manager of Customer Care for NWA was so kind as to send this, I figured that since I had pretty much blasted them – in my own tongue in cheek fashion, of course – via Brainpan Leakage, I should be fair about things and point out that they did in fact apologize, and even gave me an extra 1000 miles on my frequent flyer account.

    That’s actually more than I can say for some of the other airlines I have flown.

    Now I just need someplace to go. I wonder how far 1000 frequent flyer miles will get me? Of course, if I redeem them and the airplane has an auxiliary power unit malfunctioning, no air conditioning, and instead of sending someone to Sears for a DieHard battery the pilot bribes some guys in yellow vests and earmuffs to give us a jump, just as soon as they can find where they stashed the cables, I think I might have to scream.

    But, not in front of a terminal full of people.

    The second thing I did involved a hamburger… Well, a cheeseburger to be precise. As you well know, in the installment titled You Want Blonde Or Brunette On That, I took some more of my tongue in cheek pot shots – or in this case slapshots –  at the restaurant chain, Fuddruckers. I won’t go into euphemistic details about my experience there, after all I did just that in the aforementioned post.

    The thing that triggered me doing the thing, so to speak – (hey, fancy word usage… that’s why I get paid the big bucks) – was the fact that so many of you took me to task… Well, actually only one of you took me to task (yes, you George) Still, a huge number of you either commented here, on Facebook, or even sent me a direct email to tell me how absolutely wonderful Fuddruckers truly is, and that my experience must have been an isolated incident. Y’all also went on to tell me that I should file a complaint with the corporate office.

    Well, I ruminated on that a bit, and while it’s something I don’t normally do, I surfed on by Fuddruckers.com and found their feedback form. I sent them a comment letting them know about my experience, and that I was only doing such because several of my readers had urged me to do so.

    Now they are mad at all of you…

    Just kidding. Kinda.

    But, seriously, within something around 36 hours I received an email from the corporate office, thanking me for the feedback and letting me know it had been forwarded on to the appropriate store. Less than 8 hours after that I received a very nice apology email from the manager of the store in question, and she is sending me a gift card.

    I have to say that kind of integrity out of a company is pretty damned impressive. At least, to me it is, because that hasn’t always been my experience with some other chains. If you don’t know which one I’m talking about search my blog for “square hamburgers are evil” and see what you find.

    So anyway, next time I’m on the road and have a layover while making a connection – I mean, you simply cannot fly anywhere these days without making a connection in some faraway place, we’ve already established that – I’ll be keeping my eye out for a Fuddruckers. I’m really looking forward to finally having that truly stellar hunk-o-seared-moo-cow on a bun that E K waxed droolific about so many years ago.

    And yes, you too, George… 😉

    More to come…

    Murv

  • LED’s, Dorkiness, And The Donner Party…

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    I’m officially back in my room for the evening. Opening ceremonies are over and the groups have split off to engage in FRPG’s, MMORPG’s, and the like. Others are exuberantly bouncing around the campus sticking battery powered LED’s to metal rafters by attaching them to magnets and launching them at the ceiling. Have to admit, the student center is pretty colorful right now.

    Unfortunately, I just don’t party into the night as well as I used to. All part of that aging thing I suppose. At any rate, here is my evening report from the WillyCon XI Odyssey.

    @mrsellars – Noon noms, more good chow. Szechwan chicken stir-fry with lots of veggies and a small spinach salad with some sunflower seeds and beets.

    @mrsellars – Wish I could afford to eat this healthy at home.


    @mrsellars – Where the hell is my flash drive?

    @mrsellars – Dammit… That flash drive has manuscript stuff on it that doesn’t need to be released just yet…

    @mrsellars – Shit. Must have lost it when I was walking this morning.

    @mrsellars – Walkies… Lookies…Walkies… Lookies… Walkies…

    @mrsellars – [Back at room] Well hell… hopefully someone turned it in.

    @mrsellars – Hey… What’s this in my coat pocket?

    @mrsellars – #fuckme

    @mrsellars – Universe is definitely making sure I get that exercise… What next? Am I going to end up shoveling snow?

    @mrsellars – Forget I said that… Srsly. Just pretend it never happened.


    @mrsellars – Did the big cheese leave a badge for me?

    @Con_Registration –  Yeah, Murv. Number 2.

    @mrsellars –  No thanks, I did number 2 this morning. I probably need to do a number 1 though.

    @Con_Registration – O_o


    @mrsellars – [Watching a segment of Omega Man with Charlton Heston] [shakes head] I just can’t watch this without expecting him to say, “Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!”

    @Con_Registraton – LOL

    @Movie_Watchers – O_o


    @mrsellars –  I wonder why that maintenance guy is cleaning that rock with a wire brush?


    @mrsellars – Went to campus coffee shop. Business so slow today they didn’t make any more coffee.

    @mrsellars – Young lady behind counter made me huge espresso latte thingie for same price. She is now my new best girlfriend.

    @New_Best_Girlfriend – [Notices my badge] Are you a speaker for WillyCon?

    @mrsellars – Yes. I’m actually the author guest of honor.

    @New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

    @mrsellars – Yeah.

    @New_Best_Girlfriend – What do you write?

    @mrsellars – Books.

    @New_Best_Girlfriend – O_o [Pause] LOL! No kidding?

    @mrsellars – Why would I kid you about that? (grin) But seriously, I write Paranormal Suspense Thrillers.

    @New_Best_Girlfriend – Really?!

    @mrsellars – O_o


    @mrsellars – Watched part of Logan’s Run. Jenny Agutter was kinda hot.

    @mrsellars – E K needs one of those outfits…

    @mrsellars – [wistful stare]

    @mrsellars – Ahem. Ummm. Need to stop thinking about E K in one of those outfits.


    @mrsellars – Watched part of Family Guy Star Wars spoof…

    @mrsellars – All kinds of wrong happening on that screen.

    @mrsellars – Really liked lightsabre = bug zapper gag. LOL at that one.

    @mrsellars – When visual Doctor Who reference happened, excused myself for dinner.


    @mrsellars – Not very hungry at dinner, but it was my last chance to eat for the day. Just had a couple of fish sticks , a small scoop of rice, and some coleslaw. Still very good.


    @mrsellars – Fruit punch and Sierra Mist. Not bad. Bet a couple of shots of Vodka would make it even better.

    @mrsellars – Dry campus.

    @mrsellare – Do I really need to use the hashtag at this point? Y’all already know what I’m going to say…


    @mrsellars – [mingle] tell stories [mingle] brag about kid [mingle] brag about wife [mingle] re-tell stories and chat [mingle]


    @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – So, what kind of books do you write?

    @mrsellars – Scary shit.

    @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – Cool. I like scary shit.

    @Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv!

    @mrsellars – [looking upward] Hi!

    @Attendee_on_Balcony – Mister Murv, you need to change your Facebook photo.

    @mrsellars – [still looking upward] Why?

    @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl – No he doesn’t.

    @Attendee_on_Balcony – Yes he does… Wait, I’ll come down.

    @mrsellars – Okay.

    @jeopardy_theme – Do da Do da Do da Dooo, Do da Do da, Doop da do do do do…

    @Attendee_from_Balcony – Hi. Nice to meet you.

    @mrsellars – Hi. Nice to meet you too.

    @Attendee_from_Balcony – So, you need to change your Facebook photo. It makes you look like a dork, and not in a good way.

    @mrsellars – O_o

    (Note: @Attendee_from_Balcony had some valid points if looked at from her point of view, even though @Darth_Doodie_Shirt_Girl didn’t agree with said points.)


    @mrsellars – Heard that weather service is now predicting a possibility of 16 inches of snow starting tomorrow night.

    @mrsellars – Have elected to form a survival plan.

    @mrsellars – Might be able to find the necessary items in this dorm room to make snow shoes. Maybe even a sled.

    @mrsellars – Currently investigating what will be involved with disassembling the bunk beds on the other side of the room in order to begin construction of aforementioned items.

    @mrsellars – Heard several dogs barking earlier. Will investigate in the morning in case I need to assemble a sled team in a hurry.

    @mrsellars – Side benefit of sled construction: leftovers from bunk bed frame can be used as firewood.

    @mrsellars – As of now @skippy_the_squirrel and his friends are considered livestock.

    @mrsellars – Will steal salt shakers from cafeteria tomorrow in order to preserve  them.

    @mrsellars – Using pages from convention program book to make pattern for squirrel hide snowsuit.


    @mrsellars – Just to be safe, presently designing multi-tiered defense system for room. I know what happened with the Donner party, and I ain’t gonna git et.

    More to come…

    Murv

    (Note: If you are reading my blog for the first time please understand that what I post here is not only observational humor, but satirical as well. For the record, the folks at WillyCon are absolutely wonderful, have been a joy to hang out with, and I am having a great time. Really.  And they didn’t even force me say that or anything… 🙂 )