BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Okee Dokee…

So, right now I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off (and, I am familiar with what that looks like firsthand… Remember, I grew up on a farm) trying to get things together, get packed, make sure the laundry is done, and see to it that my girls have food in the fridge, all before I hop a plane tomorrow for Texas.

Yeah, I gotta spend 4 days in Texas with Morrison. Pity me! (LOL) Actually, I’m looking forward to it, and for a change the weather seems to be cooperating so it looks like I will really make it there instead of being iced in like happened last month. (Sorry Detroit!)

Anywho, other than touting the fact that I am going to another country for a few days, I wanted to address something really quick like… Actually, a few things. So, in the interest of expedience I’ll just enumerate them –

1) I had a great time on the Paranormal Divas Monday night. It was a good show and they have already told me they’d like to have me back on the air with them, so that should be fun! Thanks Shelley and Christine!

2) I just did a phone and email interview with a lovely young lady who wrote an article about me for Modern Witch Magazine. Modern Witch is a new quarterly mag that is supposed to officially launch its maiden issue next month. So, be on the lookout for it, because Julie (the writer) made me sound like a really cool guy. [ I have no idea how she got that idea, but I’m telling you she has a future in fiction writing! (GRIN) ]

And that brings me to 3…

3) One of the questions I get 95% of the time during interviews is “Where do you get your ideas?”… I always say “my nightmares”, which is largely true, but I also credit the news for some of the input. Over the years I’ve had folks tell me that the news simply doesn’t have headlines that are anywhere near as weird as the crimes in my books. Personally, I think these folks are hiding under rocks… Therefore, as an example, here are two headlines and they are just from TODAY. This isn’t even counting the hundred or so I could pull out of the past few months archives…

MUNICH, Germany (Reuters) – Two Italian women carrying luggage containing the remains of a man who died in Brazil 11 years ago were stopped by Munich airport police during a stopover on their journey from Sao Paulo to Naples.

BEIJING (Reuters) – A Chinese bride burned her new husband to death after he got into bed after a drunken argument without washing his feet, state media reported on Wednesday.

See what I mean?

If I have Internet access at my hotel I might check in and let you folks in the United States know what is happening in The Republic of Texas while I am there.

Now…where did I put my passport?

More to come…

Murv

If you aren’t from – or in my case, intimately familiar with since I live here – the Saint Louis area, you are probably not going to have any idea what I am talking about. Most likely, the only other way you would have a clue about this is if you happened to have seen a documentary on PBS back in 2003 called “Sandwiches You Will Like,” and even then you might be scratching your head…Unless you happen to remember the segment on the “St. Paul Sandwich.”

For those of you who still haven’t any clue what I am on about, please allow me to explain.

Among foods that hail from St. Louis – and some that even remain totally unique to STL – such as Toasted Ravioli, Gooey Butter Cake, Slingers, etc, there is a delicacy known as the “St. Paul Sandwich“. Now, the thing about this sandwich is that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with St. Paul, Minnesota as one would surmise from its name. Why it has this name no one really knows. How it got invented – Well, that’s a mystery too…Either way, it is a creation hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, and for some reason remaining here almost exclusively – though rumor has it you can now obtain one in San Francisco. (I cannot say this is a true fact as I have not been to SF to attempt finding one)… Anyhow, the St. Paul is something you get from a Chinese restaurant…Yeah, a Chinese restaurant. Obviously, we are talking Americanized Chinese food here, but what the hell – it’s a St. Paul Sandwich by the Gods!

So, what exactly IS a St. Paul Sandwich? Simple, really – it is an egg foo young patty (flavor of choice – beef, chicken, whatever) sans gravy. It is then placed between two slices of plain, white sandwich bread – To be PROPER, the bread should in fact be Wonder Bread–, since Wonder is big here and we have a local Wonder factory/bakery and all – anyway, add to that, at the bare minimum, dill pickle slices (not sweet, must be dill) and a bit of mayo. Some restaurants will embellish with sliced tomato and a bit of lettuce as well, which is always nice.

So there you have it… The St. Paul Sandwich – Saint Louis comfort food. A veritable bit of perfection between two slices. Good for what ails ya’. Happiness on bread. Lunch. Dinner. A late night snack..The whole nine yards…

“But, Murv…” you say as you pause with a confused expression on your face before launching into the crux of your question. “The title of this blog is The St. Storm Sandwich, not The Saint Paul Sandwich. What gives?”

You are correct…That IS the title…Why? Because, like all of my other characters, Detective Benjamin Storm has a mind of his own, and while he likes St. Pauls, he prefers to put a bit of a twist on them (as does this author…) Therefore, I present to you…

The Saint Storm Sandwich

Obviously, you have to start with Egg Foo Young Patties sans gravy, your flavor of choice (Ben prefers beef and sometimes pork. The author, on the other hand, is fond of vegetable EFY. The tricky part here is that the author happens to be an accomplished cook, whereas Ben’s expertise in the kitchen extends about as far as making a grilled cheese sandwich using aluminum foil and a steam iron. Therefore, the author makes his own egg foo young. Ben, on the other hand, picks his up from Happy Wok Express [see: Never Burn A Witch]. He simply orders it without the gravy then takes them home and assembles the sandwich himself. Although, being a regular at the Happy Wok, he has convinced them to keep the non-standard ingredients in the walk-in, and they have been known to make the sandwiches for him at times.)

INGREDIENTS:

Egg Foo Young Patty, no gravy, flavor of choice

Two slices of dark rye bread (NOTE: Author prefers a nice multi-grain instead, although the rye is a nice change of pace at times.)

Horseradish-Sharp Cheddar Cheese Spread

Salad Dressing (Ben and Author both prefer Spin Blend, another midwestern product…)

Thinly sliced tomato

Dill pickle slices

Crispy fried bacon strips

PREPARATION:

Toast bread. Place a thin layer of salad dressing on one slice and a generous layer of horseradish-cheese spread on the other. Layer EFY patty, tomato, pickles, and several strips of bacon on top of first bread slice. If you are especially hungry, double the number of EFY patties, pickles, tomato, and bacon then repeat layer. Top with second bread slice. Enjoy with a cold beer.

Special Note: Double-decker St. Storms are usually reserved for when you are drunk and cannot comprehend that your mouth probably won’t fit around it. Generally, author will eat one (1) regular St. Storm. Ben, however, usually consumes a bare minumum of three (3).

So, there you have it… No, I’m not kidding. If you don’t have access to decent EFY like Ben, and you are proficient in the kitchen, I’ll be happy to pass along my personal recipe for the “egg foo” itself.

More to come…

Murv