BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

As I’ve noted in the past, The Evil Redhead is sort of an environmental dominatrix. By that I mean if you harm the environment, she will torture you. She’s just that kind of gal. We even call her Kippy The Eco-Terrorist – behind her back, of course. Otherwise she does really mean things to us. It’s not the eco-terrorist part that bothers her. Actually, she kind of likes that title. However, she absolutely hates being called “Kippy.”

Go figure…

At any rate, because of her whip wielding eco-activism, E K has informed me that I am to remind everyone of the following:

November 8-14 is National Recycling Week

And

November 15th is America Recycles Day

Recycling is important. Not only does it reduce waste and help the environment, it keeps The Evil One happy. Of course, torturing her victims keeps her happy too, but when she tortures litterbugs and BP execs, anger tends to overshadow her enjoyment of the process, rendering her moody and otherwise not so much fun to be around.

And, we all want E K to be happy, correct? I know I do, and I even have the scars to prove it…

To that end, at various events we have made available, for free, “E K Recycles Stickers” and “E K Consequences Motivational Posters”. These items have been an ENORMOUS hit with folks, and we’re relatively certain that it isn’t just because they are free. So, since we don’t make it to every corner of the world, or even country, we thought we’d put printable versions of the sticker and poster out there for those of you who want them, but haven’t been able to get them. These files are, of course, free of charge and you should feel free to distribute them as long as they remain unaltered.

Should you not have access to a printer with water resistant ink, these stickers are also available at the On The Edge Graphics Cafepress Store. Of course, those are NOT free, but the are sold strictly at cost/base price, with no markup. (http://www.cafepress.com/otegraphics/6955205) – You will also find many other E K Recycles items, from re-usable water bottles and shopping bags to t-shirts and hoodies. Feel free to check out the rest of the On The Edge Graphics store for RGI and other Brainpan Leakage Swag as well…

*     *     *     *     *

(Links to the Hi-Res files can be found below each picture)

Want Some Printable EK Says “Recycle Or I’ll Hurt You” Labels?

Click Here For The PDF

And, just in case you think she isn’t serious about meting out punishment, she wanted you to see the proof below. Aluminum cans aren’t the only things she enjoys stomping. Yes… She really is a bit militant about the recycling thing.

Want A Printable ‘CONSEQUENCES” Motivational Poster?

Click Here For The 300dpi JPG (11×17)

More to come…

Murv

There are certain rules around our house…

I will meet E K at the door with her drink…

I will have dinner on the table no later than 30 minutes after E K arrives home…

I will spit shine all of EKay’s shoes on a daily basis…

I will do whatever E K tells me to do…

Sense a pattern there? Yeah, me too.  But the consequences for non-compliance with said rules are pretty harsh, so I just live with them. There are some other rules, of course. Most of them involve something I have to do in order to please The Evil One and keep her from taking me downstairs into her “play room” – which reminds me, I’m supposed to hose it down today after I drop her Stryker Saw off at the shop. I just hope she didn’t leave anyone down there. The trash truck doesn’t run for another couple of days yet…

There is, however, a rule that doesn’t directly involve E K… Well, sorta… I mean, the results of the rule compliance directly involve E K – as well as allow me to comply with the other rules of the house… But the actual rule is more along the line of – The Kitchen is MY domain, leave my stuff alone.

Surprisingly, E K generally works within the boundaries of that rule. Largely, I think, because she hates to cook, but likes to eat.

Because of this, it was a great surprise to me when I walked around the corner the other night and found her torturing a houseplant. I know, I know… Whiplash moment there, but trust me, there’s a connection. She was torturing the houseplant with one of my kitchen knives.

You see, we have this yucca plant… We’ve had this plant for something on the order of forever. Seriously. I’m pretty sure we had it when we moved into together. It has been through some serious trials and tribulations – namely countless plant chewing felines. During the summer it lives on our front porch, soaking up the sunshine and Saint Louis humidity, mostly safe from cats with plant fetishes. During that period of months the yucca goes crazy, sort of like it is making up for the rest of the year when it’s in fear for its life. By the time Autumn rolls around, and the first frost is upon us, the yucca looks a little… well… yucky.

And so, the temperature was forecast to plummet the other night, and plummet it did. Before it fell too far though, E K, in all her regalness, invoked her prime directive – that being the rule saying I have to do whatever she says.

“Lackey!” she demanded. “Go bring in the plants.”

Little did I know that in rescuing the yucky yucca from the cold, I was merely delivering it into the hands of a deranged redhead with a topiary affliction. Unfortunately for both of us – the plant and me – she didn’t have her pruning shears handy, so she headed straight for the knife block on the kitchen counter.

Of course, I suppose I should look upon the incident as an opportunity, because I learned something that evening.  Never mention the rules to an evil redhead who is holding a large, serrated bread knife in one hand and the hacked up limb of a defenseless yucca plant in the other.

We have a Ficus too, but it’s a little tougher than the Yucca. I think while she’s at work I’ll go hide my electric knives, otherwise they might end up dulled and it’ll be a little tough carving the turkey at Thanksgiving this year.

More to come…

Murv