BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Okay, faithful readers of my ramblings, time for another episode of Just the FAQ’s, with your host…Me!

(Aren’t you just all atwitter?)

So, let’s just jump right into it…

The first letter reads: Dear MR. I recently broke up with my girlfriend and now I really want to get back together with her. I just know that if she heard “Witchy Woman” on your show with a dedication from me, that she would take me back with open arms and let bygones be bygones. I would be forever grateful if you could do that for me. Signed, Heartbroken in Hoboken…

All right, H in H, let me see if I can help you out here…Our first long distance dedication is…

Had ya’ goin’ there for a minute, didn’t I? (Oh, come on, humor me…)

So, anyway, on to the FAQ’s!

1) Every time I log on to Myspace you are online. Are you addicted or what? Shouldn’t you be writing or something?

No, I’m not addicted, and me being continuously online is nothing more than a cruel illusion. Remember, I used to be a computer guru before I became a scary writer guy for a living. I have way too many computers around here, and at any given time during the day I might check in on Myspace using any one of them, depending on what room I happen to be in at the time. But, also remember that I am old, so sometimes I forget to log out. Actually, most of the time I forget to log out…Soooo, it’s not unusual for at least one computer here in the house to be logged into the account 24/7, thereby creating the illusion that I need neither sleep, nor time to do anything else.

And, yes, I should be writing or something…

2) Who is the leggy babe on your myspace backgrounds? Can I get her number?

The “leggy babe” (and yes, I agree, she is a leggy babe, which is probably why her legs are featured prominently in most of the backgrounds where she appears) …Anyway, said “leather clad vixen” is a friend and part-time model by the name of Wendi O’Brien. She posed for the covers of Love Is The Bond and All Acts Of Pleasure, as well as the promotional posters for both books. There is actually an article about the LITB photo shoot and an interview with the cover artist, Johnathan Minton, in one of my earlier snail-mail newsletters.

And, no, you may not have her number. Not from me at any rate. Besides, you don’t really want it, trust me. She’s even meaner than she looks.

On an interesting note: In keeping with the theme of the trilogy, the cover of The End Of Desire will also feature Miranda as its focal point, however, Wendi will not be modeling for that photo this time. Reknowned Pagan Artist, Mickie Mueller has been retained to actually pose for it, and the photo session is occuring later this month (Feb 2007). As usual, well known (and very bizarre) graphic artist, Johnathan Minton, owner of Woodblock Graphic Design, is producing the artwork for the cover and will be directing the photo shoot.

3) Do you listen to music when you write, and if so what do you listen to?

That largely depends on what I am writing. Sometimes I do the quiet thing, other times I have music blaring. However, I actually do have music playing most of the time. My selections are usually directly relative to the type of scene I am writing–for instance, when writing some of the more intense stuff I might be listening to such artists as Black Sabbath or Metallica. If the passage/chapter I am working on is a bit more mellow then you might find Enya or Loreena McKennitt in the CD Tray.

4) What does the M. R. stand for?

Mister.

Well, not really, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so best we leave it at that. Suffice it to say, my name actually ends in a Jr. My father was, of course, Sr. Soooo, there were two of us hung with the name.

5) Out of all of your books, which one is your favorite?

The one I am working on at the time. Really. Truth is they are all a labor of love, and in a sense that question is almost like asking a parent which of their children they love the most. Even so, as much as I am fond of all of my books, my favorite is always the one I am working on at the time.

6) What brand of cigars do you smoke?

The same brand as Rowan. CAO’s preferably the MX2, but I’ll set fire to, and puff on, just about anything CAO produces. I also enjoy Santa Damiana’s, Cruz Real’s, and Arturo Fuente’s among others.

As to any other specifics, I am a fan of Maduro wrappers and a fairly good size ring gauge (52 and above), although I definitely won’t turn down smaller gauges, or EMS wrappers. Hell, I won’t turn down a free cigar at all…

Okee-dokee…there you have it for this episode…Hope it was enlightening, and if not, at least mildly entertaining.

MR

Thirty-odd years ago, I found a cassette tape recorder under the Yule tree with my name on it. Now remember, I said thirty-odd years ago, so we are talking about the bulky recorder which, even though it was state of the art in its day, was about the size of a dinner plate and as thick as a half dozen said plates stacked together. This item was something I had wanted for some time, as it would allow me to record my thoughts fairly rapidly, and I didn’t yet know how to type. Little did I know that this tape recorder, long since relegated to a junk pile somewhere, would be the source of a very special memory, bittersweet in its content.

But, before we get to that memory, allow me to bore you a bit more. This season used to be my absolute favorite time of year. Up until 2003, with the exception of a few years of struggle, I was like a kid whenever the holidays rolled around. The lights, the Yule tree, the eggnog (yes, I’ve blogged about my beloved eggnog before)…all of it. At the risk of being cliche, yes it was magickal for me.

My first stumble with regard to the holidays came in 1987. My wife and I were married on Samhain (Halloween for you non-Pagans) that year, so that Christmas should have been infinitely special…But, shortly after our wedding, the week before Thanksgiving in fact, I received a call from a local police department requesting that I come down and identify my Mother’s body. I won’t go into details about that here. Perhaps another time. Suffice it to say, the holidays meant very little to me that year, and for a few years after that.

I managed to pull out of the slump to an extent, although the season was never as bright nor anywhere near as magickal as it had been for me in the past. I continued at that pace for a number of years, until 2003. Mid October, while I was appearing at a festival, my father crossed over- suddenly, unexpectedly, and very quickly. I didn’t find out until I returned to St. Louis, because my extended family had lost my publicist’s business card, and my wife and daughter were with me at the fest, so there was no way to get in contact.

Again, the holidays lost their magick. In all honesty, were it not for my wife and daughter, I would likely not celebrate them at all. So, by way of explanation for this boring recitation of the past, I can only surmise that I suffer from a mild form of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)…A depression more induced from life altering trauma than a lack of light, but very real nonetheless.

But, I have digressed a bit…I started this off with the memory of a tape recorder, and I should get back to that. The tape recorder itself, long gone and clunky in this day even if it still existed, is really more the source of the memory than the memory itself. You see, that particular Christmas, thirty-odd years ago, my maternal Grandfather, Elvis Babb insisted that all of the kids and grandkids come home for the holidays–home being, Fulton, Kentucky. A tiny spot on the road town, overlapping the state line between Kentucky and Tennessee, and bordering the farming community of Water Valley. This was the place of my birth…the home of the Fulton Banana Festival, small town values, and the Hornbeak Funeral Chapel–a place I have spent more hours than I care to remember, both as a child and since as an adult. I suspect I will visit its interior a few more times before my own crossing…

No one was quite sure why my Grandfather was so adamant about everyone returning home for Christmas, but he fought against all objections, and saw to it that everyone gathered there in that little house on Grymes Avenue. So, my family made the short trek from St. Louis on Christmas morning, arriving in Fulton to spend a few days with everyone. As usual there was more food than anyone could possibly eat, a roaring fire in the wood burning stove that occupied one corner of the living room, and a sense of happiness that made everything special–yes, magickal.

Of course, all of the family being from that small town, there were other relatives to visit, and that we did. However, there was a particular day when I was left at the house on Grymes…me, my younger sister, and my Grandfather, sitting next to that roaring fire. My sister, being several years younger and somewhat oblivious due to her age, occupied herself with one or more of the toys she had received only a day or so before. Me, I sat and listened to my Grandfather tell me about a fishing trip we were going to take when summer rolled around once again. Little did I know that we were taking that fishing trip right then and there in his imagination, and lovingly painted in words for me to experience with him. In later years, when that realization hit me, I committed that story to paper…Perhaps someday I will feel self important enough to publish it in an autobiography…but then, maybe not. I guess we’ll see…

But, there I go digressing again…On the heels of the story, my Grandfather asked me to go get my shiny, new tape recorder. When I returned with it, he had in his hand a harmonica. This harmonica had been a source of entertainment for the family in years past as this man could play it like nobody’s business. I started a fresh tape, and there, beside the fire, we created an impromptu recording studio while he made the musical instrument talk, sing, cry, and even morph into a freight train that sounded far too real for words. I should note that at that point in time, Elvis was suffering from Emphysema, having been a heavy smoker since his youth, and was having trouble catching his wind, but for several minutes that afternoon, his lungs worked fine, and he made that harmonica speak.

Fast forward a few months. The frantic call came for all of the family to return to Fulton once again, but this time, not for holiday celebration. Elvis was ill and in the hospital. It was only shortly after everyone arrived that he crossed over. I was too young to be allowed into the hospital for a visit at the time, whether that was their rule or my parents I am still unclear, but I never got to say goodbye. It took me years to realize that the fireside fishing trip was our goodbye, and how he wanted me to remember him. How clear hindsight can be…would that our foresight was as crystal.

In any event, I have that harmonica. I found it back in 2003 while charged with the task of going through my father’s things at his home after his death. Though my parents had divorced around the time I graduated high school, Dad had kept some things stored away for Mom. After her death, I suppose he simply forgot about them as they were cloistered away in boxes, residing in a dark corner of the basement. Even so, I remembered that my mother had been given the harmonica, and upon finding it in the box it was like a Holy Grail of sorts. An artifact that may mean nothing to most anyone else, but meant the world to me. Now, it has been handed down to me, and will one day be passed on to my daughter. For the moment, it sits atop its box, displayed like a jewel in our curio cabinet.

But, this doesn’t really explain why I am suddenly pouring this memory out onto the page does it? Well, there was this tape. The tape I made of my Granfather pushing that harmonica to its limits and beyond. Copies were made of it and sent out to all of the family, but unfortunately, though my parents had retained the original, I was never able to find it after either of their deaths. I simply assumed that it was a piece of my history that would be lost forever. And, without that tape, and considering the fact that my daughter wasn’t even an inkling of a thought when her great-grandfather Babb crossed over, it is doubtful that the harmonica will mean much to her–other than perhaps her knowing how much in meant to me.

Fast forward yet again…

This past summer there was a Babb family reunion. We gathered from all corners of the country. Of course, both my parents are gone, but I can see my mother in my relatives. And, time, as always, has done what it will inevitably do…my aunts and uncles have now become the Grandparents, all of us neices/nephews/cousins have become our parents, and our children have become us. That bejeweled double helix that guarantees our immortality, passed along through the generations.

Elvis Babb can been easily seen in his son, my uncle, Steve Babb. He is a dead ringer for him. And, there is no doubt where a portion of my DNA came from as my uncle and I could pass for brothers…I just happen to have hair.

But again, there I go down another branch of the tree…back to the recording. During that reunion I discovered that my aunt in Nevada still had a copy…and, that my uncle had ported it in to his computer and put it onto CD.

And that my dear and patient readers is the trigger for this memory. Amidst the holiday cards, catalogs, and mail order gifts I collected from the box this morning was a simple package, addressed to me, and hailing from Nevada. Within, the packaged contained a CD, simply labeled “Grandaddy Babb”.

I’ve listened to it several times now, and my eyes still aren’t dry…

MR