BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Having lived with an Evil (and I do mean EVIL) redhead for well over 25 years, I have become used to some of the nuances involved in such an endeavor. In fact, I dare say I have even become jaded… I just sort of know what to expect, how it goes, and what to do… Right up until she decides to throw me a curveball, that is. She usually does that just so I’ll screw up and she’ll have a valid excuse to do horrible and terrible things to me…

Who am I kidding? She doesn’t need an excuse…

At any rate, the thing here is that I am used to life under the heel of the redhead, therefore I keep forgetting that others don’t quite know what to expect, or how to fully interpret the subtleties of E K.

This includes the o-spring. Case in point…

During our recent vacation, as we cruised along a mountain pass, E K was driving – because she HAS to be IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING at all times. Well… and there’s also the fact that I actually cannot stand driving. I hate it. With a passion. But that’s a different blog…

Anywho – there we were, cruising along, and E K would point out stuff she was seeing ahead while the rest of us scanned out the side windows, looking for wildlife, fantastical views, etc. Along came a point when Her Supreme Evilness asked the O-spring a question. I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. At any rate, the spring didn’t answer.

A few moments passed and E K spoke up again, saying, “Ooooooo-sppprrrriiiinnnnggg?” as she tried to grab our daughter’s attention.

Immediately, if not sooner, the child jumped out of her skin, ran around the still moving vehicle eight times, jumped back into her skin and with much trepidation said, “What? What did I do wrong?”

“What makes you think you did something wrong?” E K asked, somewhat perplexed.

The O-spring replied, “Because you said my name the slow way like you do to Daddy whenever he’s in trouble.”

Yep. I think she’s finally got it figured out. Took her long enough. I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t hear E K say my name “the slow way” on a daily basis.

In fact, I’ve been thinking of legally changing my name to “Mmmuuuuuurrrrvvvvvvv…”

More to come…

Murv

We’re about to have a problem… A BIG one. As in, Cat on a Stick.

As most of you know, we tend to rescue animals. Cats, in particular. Now, while we haven’t been taking any in for several years now, we recently ended up in a situation where we DID take in a half-drowned, flea-bitten, six-week old, somewhat feral kitten rescued from a highway post flash-flood.

E K and I wanted to call him ARK (Almost Road Kill) because the person who picked him up actually saw him nearly get hit by a car. When I say nearly, I mean the kitten was literally pummeled by the rush of air from the vehicle’s tires as it screamed by on the highway. In fact, the person picking him up thought that he actually HAD been hit. As it turned out, he hadn’t. Good thing too, because there wasn’t much of him there to hit… As it turns out, the o-spring sort of adopted him for her own, so she named him Tiger. Me, I just call him “Nachos El Tigre” or, more recently, “You #$@@^&* SH*THEAD!”

Why? Because the little bastage has taken to playing under my desk. Now, it’s already bad enough that I’m getting kitten needle claws stuck in my legs, but that’s not the BIG issue. The BIG issue is that he has discovered the cords on the back of my computer.

Actual pic of Sh*thead "killing" the feather on a stick...

And he plays with them…

And he unplugs them…

Or he jumps up and down on the UPS until he lands on the button…

Know what happens?

My system shuts down. Unceremoniously. Without warning. WITH extreme prejudice. Killing and corrupting files that I have open.

Fortunately, he hasn’t destroyed a manuscript yet. Besides, I keep those backed up all over the place so we should be safe.

But I’m here to tell you, if the little sh*t messes up any of my “pR0N”, he’s toast… Just kidding. I back that up too… 😉

More to come…

Murv