So, I ran across something today. I’m not sure if I was supposed to see it or not, but since it was just laying there in plain view… Well… It caught my attention and I pretty much couldn’t help but read it.

You see, during the morning running about today I had myself an extra chore, as assigned by the Evil Redhead herself, that being the task of going to the bank and making a deposit. I know, I know, why in the world would E K allow me to:

1. Go anywhere near a bank.
2. Have money.
3. Be anywhere near money.
4. Especially be anywhere near money that belongs to her.
5. Know of the existence of money.
6. Ad infinitum…

Yeah, yeah, give me a break… We all know I’m less than frugal and not all that good at money management, I’ve already admitted as much. And,  because of that, E K handles all of the finances and doesn’t let me near the money. Nothing new there… However, after 22+ years of marriage she does have me fairly well trained, (or more accurately, beaten into submission).

Therefore, she will occasionally entrust me with the task of making a bank deposit. Of course, whenever she does this I am escorted by armed guards, and then there are also the other security measures, such as dye packs, double signature requirements, fingerprint and retinal scan ID requirements, a shock collar locked around my neck, etc… So, the chances of me actually being able to do anything other than hand the deposit over to a bonded courier at the bank are practically nil… Well, not practically I don’t guess… When you get right down to it they are about as nil as they can get…

But, yeah, I’m now following a semi-related chicken, so let’s get back on track…

Upon my return home, as is my prescribed duty I placed the documentation, which proves I have completed the task, upon the Evil One’s desk. It was at this point I came across the “something.” It was just tossed out there in plain sight… You know… In a file folder, which was sealed in a manila envelope,  which was stamped “eyes only” and “Do Not Open – This Means You, Murv”, which was stuffed under some other files in her briefcase, which was double locked and tucked back into a secret, hidden cubbyhole beneath her desk…

See what I mean? Right there in plain sight…

So, anyway, a picture of said “something” is inserted below, and since it might be a bit hard to read from an image, I have also copied the text  and placed it beneath the picture for your convenience…

February 20, 2009
RE: Evil League of Evil

CERTIFIED MAIL

Bad Horse
Evil League of Evil
ELE Secret Headquarters
It’s a secret you moron

Dear Bad Horse:

This letter is to inform you that I am officially declining your invitation to join the Evil League of Evil. While the offer of full membership is certainly attractive, especially considering the convertible toaster oven/death-ray signing incentive you threw in, it still did not escape my attention that said offer also included a rider, which in effect would ban me from seeking the position of CEO for the League.

To that end, I have now initiated a hostile takeover of the Evil League of Evil. On that note, as you are well aware, my anger management classes did not go so well. Therefore, even if you were to agree to a buyout, this takeover would still be hostile, because to put it simply, everything I do is hostile. Extremely hostile and just plain mean. Besides, I’m evil, enough said.

As of today, I have obtained the necessary shares to gain controlling interest in the League. My latest purchase, which put me over the top, was thanks to Doctor Horrible who was in dire need of quick cash to pay off his student loans. (Apparently a PhD in horribleness is rather expensive.)

In conclusion, I am calling for you, BH, to vacate the post of CEO PDQ. I am giving you 24 hours to clean out your stall. As is called for in the by-laws, I will also require you to submit a formal letter of resignation.  I would appreciate knowing the ETA on that ASAP.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a shoe sale to attend.

Disrespectfully Yours,

Evil Kat

Queen Bitch of the Whole F***ing Universe

E K:lackey #1

… You know, something tells me we should all be very worried. Especially Bad Horse…

More to come…

Murv

(… If you are unfamiliar with the Evil League of Evil, Bad Horse, and/or Doctor Horrible, I highly recommend you check out the following links: drhorrible.com and  evilleagueofevil.com. You owe it to yourself to stay informed… Especially since E K is taking over…)

Okay, folks…

You’ll be seeing something new on the blog posts these days… It looks a little something like this:

In fact, there is probably an icon just exactly like this one sitting just below the title of this very blog post. Uncanny, eh?

Well, you see, it’s like this… There is a plug in for WordPress which allows your blog posts to be converted to audio via a text to speech converter. Granted, it isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. For instance, it pronounces E K as Eck… and when I write one of my thoughtful pauses into a post… one which should sound and read something like a long hum… the converter stumbles over that with a hrrrmmmmm as you just heard.

I suppose this all means I will have to start adjusting my spelling on some things… However, I have already noticed that it doesn’t necessarily pronounce some normal everyday words all that well. And, I am not about to start spelling things phonetically just for the sake of the converter.

Still, like I said, although it isn’t perfect, it is a far cry better than the garbled phoneme spewing “Doctor Sbaitso” program that came with the original sound cards back in the day… read, prehistoric computer era.

But, what makes it totally excellent and incredibly cool is the fact that it now allows Brainpan Leakage to be listened to as well as read. This means you can subscribe to B L via Odiogo… the service that does the conversion… and download the entries as MP3’s or as sound files on your iPod. If listening is your preference, of course… Me, I prefer reading, especially since I stick pictures and even an occasional music link in my posts.

Either way, you’ll probably still want to subscribe to the notifications via the blog itself. That way, you’ll be able to click your way over here and read the entry whenever the text to speech converter stumbles a bit.

Anyhow, you can do the audio subscribing thing below. Or, you can find the same link in the Networked Blogs section of the menu on the right side panel.

Okay… I have some other words to write, so I’ll sign off. And never fear… Just because I am rambling now, it doesn’t mean the schedule has changed.  The next installment of… let’s see if this works… Maa waage… still deploys tomorrow.

More to come…

Murv

… ADDENDUM: Well, I edited this after the sound file had been generated, so if you listen you will notice that a couple of sentences are skipped… Also, my Mahwage substitute didn’t fare any better… Oh well. Apparently machines can’t speak with a lisp.

… ADDENDUM 2: Apparently the service re-gens updated versions of the file… I did not know that. Way cool.