BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Having lived with an Evil (and I do mean EVIL) redhead for well over 25 years, I have become used to some of the nuances involved in such an endeavor. In fact, I dare say I have even become jaded… I just sort of know what to expect, how it goes, and what to do… Right up until she decides to throw me a curveball, that is. She usually does that just so I’ll screw up and she’ll have a valid excuse to do horrible and terrible things to me…

Who am I kidding? She doesn’t need an excuse…

At any rate, the thing here is that I am used to life under the heel of the redhead, therefore I keep forgetting that others don’t quite know what to expect, or how to fully interpret the subtleties of E K.

This includes the o-spring. Case in point…

During our recent vacation, as we cruised along a mountain pass, E K was driving – because she HAS to be IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING at all times. Well… and there’s also the fact that I actually cannot stand driving. I hate it. With a passion. But that’s a different blog…

Anywho – there we were, cruising along, and E K would point out stuff she was seeing ahead while the rest of us scanned out the side windows, looking for wildlife, fantastical views, etc. Along came a point when Her Supreme Evilness asked the O-spring a question. I don’t even remember what it was, to be honest. At any rate, the spring didn’t answer.

A few moments passed and E K spoke up again, saying, “Ooooooo-sppprrrriiiinnnnggg?” as she tried to grab our daughter’s attention.

Immediately, if not sooner, the child jumped out of her skin, ran around the still moving vehicle eight times, jumped back into her skin and with much trepidation said, “What? What did I do wrong?”

“What makes you think you did something wrong?” E K asked, somewhat perplexed.

The O-spring replied, “Because you said my name the slow way like you do to Daddy whenever he’s in trouble.”

Yep. I think she’s finally got it figured out. Took her long enough. I mean, it’s not like she doesn’t hear E K say my name “the slow way” on a daily basis.

In fact, I’ve been thinking of legally changing my name to “Mmmuuuuuurrrrvvvvvvv…”

More to come…

Murv

I’ll take some heat for this, but hey, when don’t I?

However, before I say what I am going to take heat for, I would like to point out that I am not targeting any single religious group. I’m not actually targeting anyone. I am, however, finding myself confounded by those who who offer up religion – or deity, more specifically – as an excuse. And that goes for any and all religious paths – be the reference aimed at God, Lord and Lady, God and Goddess, Buddha, ad infinitum…

Here’s why…

Friday – GOOD Friday, mind you, just in case you are keeping track – Saint Louis experienced one of the worst tornadoes and storm systems it has in years. Fact is, this whole spring has been wicked for the Midwest and South. Here in STL we’ve had more hail and tornadoes for one season than I can remember. I don’t know if that’s a historical fact. I’m simply relying on my memory. Thing is, it’s been rough. From New Year’s Eve, through February, and on into spring we’ve had tornadoes touching down, and storms rolling through with straight line winds, hail, and all the trimmings. Plenty of damage too…

This past Friday’s storm put down a twister that is currently being estimated at an EF3. It did millions of dollars worth of damage to Lambert STL Airport, which incidentally is where I fly from on a regular basis, and is also just a scant few miles from my house. It all but leveled one subdivision as well, and caused immense amounts of damage to others. This isn’t even counting what it did to the West in Saint Charles County and to the East in Illinois.

Yet, injuries were minor, and so far I’ve heard no reports whatsoever of loss of life. This is a wonderful thing. My way of thinking is that because of technology and connectivity, folks were informed and prepared. We live in a vastly different world than that of 100 years ago. Hell, it’s vastly different than that of when I was a kid my daughter’s age. Back then you really had no idea what was coming until it was right on top of y0u. Now, it’s a whole different story and if you are paying attention to the radio, the TV, the internet, or even your phone, you can take cover with time to spare…

Hey, even E K, the O-spring, and I spent some time hanging out in our basement when the tornado began to cut its swath through our area. We were technically in its path, and they can change direction. Better safe than sorry. Technology. It can save lives. Gotta love it…

But here’s my thing…

No matter where I’ve turned – the news, Facebook, email, in person conversations – I keep hearing things like:

Thank God, nobody was seriously hurt.

Thank the Lord and Lady you’re okay…

etc…

Now, I should mention, I certainly appreciate the sentiments and I am glad that people are glad that I am okay – and that everyone else is okay too.  Trust me, I get it. I appreciate it. I thank you for it. I’m glad that I am okay too. I’m glad that nobody was seriously hurt, be they my friends or even total strangers.

But let’s look at this a bit closer – Since all of these deities – (if one subscribes to the beliefs) – are responsible for everything that happens – (God’s will, Buddha provides, the Lord and Lady have plans for me/you/us/them, ad nauseum…) – they are also directly responsible for raining down said destruction upon us.

So… Why are we thanking them for this? Kinda reeks of a fraternity hazing, doesn’t it? Sorry, but I’m not about to look up to the sky and say, “Thank you, may I have another?”

Nope. The only divine intervention I am seeing here is that of Doppler radar, high resolution satellites, TV, Radio, Internet, and Smart Phones…

What’s that?

Ohh… Well… Umm… Well yeah… You are correct… I will look up at E K and say “Thank you, may I have another,” but that’s a whole different story and we won’t discuss it on a PG rated blog…

More to come…

Murv

PS. Just so nobody gets the wrong idea, I’m very glad everyone is okay, and escaped with only minor injuries, if any at all.  I also feel for those who lost their homes, etc. I’m just not going to ascribe any good fortune to an unseen deity who is also theoretically responsible for the disaster in the first place…