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  • Oh, The Weather Outside Is…

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    Yeah, okay, so it’s not exactly frightful just yet, but it is well on its way to being just that. However, here in Saint Louis it has been chilly, a bit damp, and all around blustery. And, when the temperatures fall, the wind blows, and cold water falls out of the sky, it is time for certain comfort foods to make it all bearable. As I’ve outlined in previous blogs, the kitchen in our home is my purview and the responsibility of putting said comfort foods on the table falls squarely upon me.

    Evil Kat SpeaksOf course, you all know that task comes with an added twist – I also have to make sure that the comfort food meets with Her Grand Exalted Highness Evil Kat’s expectations, lest I be chained up in the basement and ruthlessly tortured with garden tools and the like.

    Fortunately for me, there are a few comfort foods that actually make the evil redhead almost crack a smile. Not quite, but almost.

    I’ve discovered her favorites through trial and error – sometimes more error than trial, because E K doesn’t give you an opportunity to defend yourself. She just punishes you until you get it right, so I still have a few scars. But, these days I usually get beat for something besides my cooking.

    So, in case you have an Evil Redhead, Wicked Blonde, or Badass Brunette you need to please, or if you are just looking for some quick – or sometimes not so quick – recipes for comfort foods to drive the cold winter away, I might be able to help. Yeah… Just for fun I thought maybe I’d share a few of E Kay’s faves with you over the course of the next couple of months.

    And, just because I can – and because it’s been chilly – I’m going to start with one of the tops on her list, that being, of course, Chili.

    Now, before I get into the recipe proper I need to clarify a couple of things:

    1. Chili purists will tell you this isn’t really chili because it has beans in it. E K will not consume chili that does not have beans in it. I am not about to argue with her about that, as I value my life too much. Besides, the basement is cold, damp, and no one can hear you scream, except E K…
    2. My good buddy Dorothy Morrison will tell you this isn’t really chili because it has BLACK beans and corn in it. To this day I have no clue what black beans and corn did to get on her bad side, but let me tell you – don’t ever, and I mean ever, mention black beans and corn  in the same sentence around her. Same thing goes for sun dried tomatoes. The resulting rant is well… just plain scary. 😉
    3. Finally, I am going out on a limb and making the assumption that if you try this at home you already know your way around the kitchen so I’m not going to teach you how to cook here, just give you a recipe.

    So, on with said recipe…

    Chili E Kay’s Way

    A Midwestern Style Chili To Soothe An Evil Redhead

    (Prep time: 10 min – Cooking time: 20 min – Serves 4 to 6)

    Ingredients:

    1 lb Ground Turkey (Can use Ground Beef if desired)

    3/4 Cup Frozen Yellow Corn Kernels

    1 Can (14.5 oz) Diced Tomatoes

    2 Cans (14.5 oz each) Black Beans, Drained

    1 Large Yellow Onion, Chopped (Coarse or Fine, your preference)

    2 Tbsps Finely Chopped Jalapeño Pepper

    4 Tbsps Finely Chopped Pickled Sweet Banana Peppers

    3 Tbsp Vinegar (From Sweet Pickled Peppers)

    Seasoning:

    1 1/2 Tbsp Chili Powder

    1 Tbsp Paprika

    2 tsp Cumin

    1 Tbsp Raw Sugar (AKA Turbinado Sugar)

    1 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon

    1 Tbsp Ground Banana Pepper Flakes

    1 Tbsp Ground Mild Chili Pepper Flakes

    Preparation:

    Personally, I prepare this dish in a large, stainless steel skillet, but then I do quite a bit of my cooking in a skillet – be it stainless steel, cast iron, Calphalon, or Chantal, as I have all of the above.

    Start by combining all of the seasonings in a small bowl and mixing them well – set aside. Then, chop the peppers and onions and generally do your prep work, of course.

    Begin the E Kay’s Chili by browning the ground turkey. If you elect to use ground beef instead, after browning drain the grease before continuing. Once the meat is browned, reduce heat then add all of the chopped peppers and onions. Sweat peppers and onions with browned meat until slightly translucent, raise heat and add vinegar. This will allow you to deglaze the pan. Add the spice mixture set aside earlier and mix throughout. Add frozen corn kernels and canned tomatoes (with liquid) and stir together. Reduce heat and simmer 5 to 10 minutes. Add drained black beans and mix well. Simmer until beans are heated through.

    Serve hot with shredded cheese (Colby-Jack is E Kay’s preference) and a dollop of sour cream.

    ChiliSome points of note – I transfer the finished chili into a casserole dish when it is done in order to make it easier to serve.

    You will also notice that there really isn’t much fire behind this chili – that’s pretty much because E K is as hot as it gets so she doesn’t need any more heat. However, if you are like me you might want to spice it up a bit. I embellish mine “in the bowl” with added Jalapeño Peppers and some of my homemade hot salsa. If I’m really in the mood for hot (other than E K, of course) I’ll toss a little ground Habanero in there too. You can certainly increase the “heat” skillet side for the whole batch should you so desire.

    Finally, the ground mild chili pepper flakes and ground sweet banana pepper flakes could be a minor issue for some of you, as in having them on hand. I garden, and have friends who garden, so I tend to dry and grind such items myself. However, you can easily find the above dried peppers in the ethnic foods section of your local grocery store, and a quick spin in a coffee grinder – everyone has a coffee grinder specifically for their spices, correct? – will render them to the state required. Just be warned, they are usually sold in large packages, and while not very expensive, you will end up with quite a few dried peppers on hand.

    And there you have it… Chili E Kay’s Way. I even came up with a catchy slogan in case I ever want to market it…

    “It’s good to eat, and you won’t get beat…”

    More to come…

    Murv

  • Missouri Kat And The Scarab Of Doom…

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    LOGO
    I have to be honest. I’m rarely shocked by anything E K does, especially if it involves evil. However, please make note that I said rarely. There are occasions when the Evil Redhead will do something that throws me for a bit of a loop. Of course, since I am telling you this now it should be obvious that Her Majesty has recently managed to leave me wondering…

    As is the custom whenever E K is about to do something I will inevitably blog about, I was standing in the kitchen minding my own business. Well, in truth I was minding the business of a pound of ground turkey as I set about fixing the evening meal. Now, what was unusual about this is that instead of pacing back and forth behind me while gently slapping a riding crop against the side of her leg, The Evil One was nowhere to be seen. This, in and of itself should have set off a few alarms for me, but I was too busy concentrating on what I was going to prepare with the ground turkey that I hadn’t already prepared at some point during the 2009 calendar year. (You see, E K doesn’t like to have the same thing twice within a 365 day period.)

    Anyhow, there I was trying to come up with a unique dish that involved ground turkey when I heard a voice from across the room.

    missouri EK and the beetles of doom
    “Hello, Lackey,” E K announced, her tone both serious and bemused. (Don’t ask me how she managed that. It’s an E K thing.)

    I looked up from the meal fixin’s and there, standing in the doorway, was the evil redhead, decked out in her own version of Indiana Jones adventure attire, complete with a fedora and bullwhip.

    Of course, noticing the whip my first response was, “I’m sorry, your worship, I’m cooking as fast as I can.”

    She ignored me, which wasn’t unusual except that she rarely misses an opportunity to enjoy a good bit of groveling on my part. Instead, she stared out the window into our back yard.

    “Japanese Beetles,” she finally said , and then let out a heavy sigh that was obviously filled with deep seated trepidation. “Why did it have to be Japanese Beetles?”

    I screwed up my face with confusion because I was… well… confused. “Japanese Beatles?” I repeated with a questioning tone. “Are they some kind of tribute band?”

    jbeetle
    Popillia Japonica,” she replied. “Very dangerous.”

    “What do you mean?” I asked. “Are they really loud or something?”

    “Hungry.”

    I cocked an eyebrow. “Hungry?”

    “Very.”

    “I’ve only got a pound of turkey here so that might be a problem,” I told her.

    “They’re vegetarians.”

    “Oh yeah, that’s right,” I agreed with a nod. “McCartney is all about the veggie thing isn’t he…”

    “There are Japanese Beetles in the back yard, Murv!” she barked.

    “Okay, okay,” I said. “Calm down. I can defrost some more turkey in the microwave. Not a big deal. Just go out there and stall them for a bit while I get to cooking. So, just out of curiosity are these guys any good? I mean, should we sell tickets or something?”

    “Whiskey,” she replied, a demanding note in her voice.

    “Yeah… Okay…” I returned with a shrug.

    Since she was still holding the bullwhip I decided I had better comply. I pulled a bottle of the good stuff from the cabinet, poured a shot, then placed it on the island in front of her. She picked it up, tossed it back, then slammed the empty shot glass onto the counter upside down. From out of nowhere a Nepalese man dressed in Yak fur appeared, burped, then passed out and fell to the floor. E K proceeded to take all of his money then kicked him a couple of times to make him move out of her way, and of course “just because”… She’s evil like that.

    “Get the pry bars in there,” she ordered, a wild look in her eyes.

    “Do the what?” I asked.

    She rolled her eyes then barked, “Open the damn back door, Lackey!”

    I did as I was told, because that’s what I do. As I turned back to face her I noticed that she had unfurled the bullwhip and was now rearing her arm back over her head. I immediately cowered in the corner, fear running rampant through my veins. However, the sting of her lash never fell upon me. I peered out from behind my hands and watched on in complete awe.

    With a speedy swish and a sharp crack the braided leather snaked out the open doorway, the end wrapping itself around a tree branch. E K pulled on the whip to cinch it tight, then grasped it with both hands, jumped up in the air, and swung through the open doorway and out into the back yard.

    As she flew past me I heard her mutter, “You wanna talk to God, let’s go see Her together…”

    I’m still not entirely sure what all that was about. She insists that we don’t talk about it. Ever.

    All I know is that we never sold a single ticket, I never heard a single Beatles tune, and I’ve now spent the past three days using a paint scraper to get the scarab carcasses off the bottom of her shoes…

    More to come…

    Murv