BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

Of course, that’s where mine usually resides, correct?

To hear some people tell it, it is. But, that’s not actually what we are here to talk about, of course…

The other day I wrote a blog about the USDA being out to get me. I still think they are. I’ve noticed way too many John Deere green trucks in the neighborhood as of late. On top of that, just the other day I found wheat chaff under one of our windows and the distinct odor of fertilizer was still hanging in the air. Of course, the fact that the FFA (Future Farmers of America) keeps calling and hanging up doesn’t help either.

But, again, not exactly what we are here to discuss… Actually, it was a comment on that particular blog that sparked this particular blog. Still with me? Good.

You see, a friend of mine – we’ll call her DeathStar, because that’s pretty much what we call her all the time anyway – pointed out that if one were to be pragmatic about it, the fact that someone from the USDA is searching me out just might be something as innocuous as an old family friend or acquaintance now working for said covert governmental organization.

Well, that’s not how my mind works. I mean, I can be pragmatic when necessary, but if it’s not, then why?

Let me give you an example. Several years ago there was a commercial for some cell phone service running on the toob. I know, I know, there are plenty of those. Unfortunately, I can’t actually remember which company this was, suffice it to say, it was in a black and white noir sort of fashion. At one point during the commercial there is this guy running across a street in slow motion as the announcer extolls the virtues of this particular service and the features it will be introducing very soon. The camera pans down and to the left, showing us a spot of color in the otherwise black and white frame – that color being a solitary, red, high-heeled pump lying in the gutter.

Upon seeing this I turned to the evil redhead, what with her being just as pragmatic as DeathStar. Besides, DeathStar wasn’t here… But, I didn’t just turn to her. I actually proceeded to ask, “What does that mean to you?”

“What?” she asked.

“That shoe in the gutter,” I explained.

Without missing a beat she replied, “Oh, that. Well, I take it to mean some woman was having a great time partying and lost one of her shoes.”

“Really?” I asked.

E K, being E K, instantly took on a stern tone. “You’re doubting me?”

“No, your worship.”

“Okay,” she pressed. “What does it mean to you?”

I shrugged. “Well, actually it raises a lot of questions for me.”

“Such as?”

“Is she still alive? Approximately when was she abducted? Were there any witnesses? Is it possible that there is any DNA evidence besides her own? Has she been reported missing yet? Are there any traffic cameras nearby? Didn’t anyone hear her scream? Was she alone? If she was with someone were they abducted too, or were they complicit? When will…”

“Okay, okay, lackey,” E K said, cutting me off.

“Well…” I grumbled. “You asked.”

“And believe me, I’m already regretting it.”

So, there you go… I guess maybe my mind really is in the gutter. Why? Because that commercial was on TV something like five years ago, and I still want to know what’s up with that shoe and why there hasn’t been an investigation launched to find out what happened to that poor woman.

More to come…

Murv

Since the Hell House saga has not yet come to an end, and I keep tossing status comments out there referencing such, I thought it might be a good idea to give y’all an update. Obviously, if you are a first time visitor here you probably have no clue what I am talking about, so to get caught up you will need to tweak the dials on the wayback machine and read the previous entries, Hell House Week 1 and Hell House Week 2…

And now, on with the update…

Holey Walls, Batman!

When last we left our intrepid laborers, Scuba and Swervin’, many things had been done, but many were still left for the doing. Among them was a gargantuan hole in the wall as seen at the end of Hell House Week 2.

After cutting back the drywall to square things up, and installing nailers, I hung a partial sheet of rock to patch the hole, then taped, mudded, and skim coated the wall. Once I finished sanding, the results were perfectly lovely.

The incoming tenants slapped a couple of coats of paint onto the wall and everything was just like new again. I’m sure a pro drywall guy would have accomplished what I did in less than half the time, but hey, it looks good and it’s done.

Then the rains came…

As with any other autumn in the midwest, the fall rainy season was upon us. Truth is, Scuba and I had been looking forward to this because we wanted to see our handiwork in operation – that being the basement stairs and drainage system, including the 20 gallon sump well and piping.

Much to our delight, it worked flawlessly. We couldn’t have planned it better even if we knew what we were doing (LOL). Unfortunately, I was unable to get a picture of it in operation, but suffice it to say, the pump move quite a bit of water and the basement is staying dry for a change. We’ve recently discovered a small leak along the West side of the house, but that is due to a separation between the walk and the foundation. We’ve already purchased the materials to repair it and are just waiting for it to be dry enough to affect said repair.

The picture above, while obviously NOT the pump in operation, is of Scuba making some repairs to the gutters. We discovered during the rain that one of the longer runs had separated from the fascia and was sagging, causing the water to pool and overspill. Once Scuba Steve had a talk with it, it straightened up and started draining properly. While on the roof, he also replaced the flashing around the vent pipes since it was shot.

I thought we were done with the concrete?

It seems that where concrete work is concerned, Hell House is the gift that keeps on giving.

Part of the evidence of the gutter problem was the fact that during heavy rains the water would overshoot the sagging gutter as it ran down the valley between the main section of the house and the addition. Over time it had eroded the corner from the back stairs leading from the kitchen to the patio. Other than that the stairs were in great shape, so instead of taking them out entirely, Scuba and I drilled, pinned, formed, and concreted the corner. It’s now pretty as a picture and solid as a rock.

Building the “Great Wall”…

One of the projects we wanted to accomplish was putting in some walls in the basement. Nothing fancy, just yet… Primarily, we wanted to create a lockable storage area where I could house some of the tools and materials we were using on the repairs. We also wanted to enclose the Furnace and Water Heater in a “Mechanical Room” so that they weren’t sticking out like a sore thumb if we eventually decide to re-finish the basement. As it happens, Scuba had a slew of metal studs in his personal warehouse – what we like to call “The Happy Shed” – so we were in business. All we needed was the track and something to attach to the studs once they were in place. A quick trip to the hardware store and we were ready to roll.

The Great Wall takes shape…

Since the this really qualifies as not quite finished where basements are concerned, we elected to go with a wall covering that would be sturdy and accomplish what we had set out to do, but not necessarily be “pretty” – kind of like drywall that hasn’t been painted or wallpapered just yet. So, we used ply. This allowed us to put up walls and provides us with a base should we eventually want to finish with paneling or tongue and groove stock of some sort.

From this angle you can see the doorway to the storage area along with the door already in place.

Here we have a different angle, taken from the far end of the basement. On the left is the doorway to the storage area.

On the right you can see the doorway to the mechanical room. We are going to put some storage shelves in there and hang a door as well. In order to keep costs down we have been using recycled materials from the house itself, as well as many gems donated by Scuba from the “Happy Shed”…

Gotta love the Happy Shed… I’m just sayin’…

In the foreground you can seem my pool table. There is a rich history behind this 3 piece slate table – in short, I purchased it for the paltry sum of $500 back when I was 19 years old. A former High School teacher had retired and was moving to Hawaii. He had purchased the table new and had played all of 10 games on it. Not wanting to pay the price to move it overseas, he decided to sell it and I stumbled upon the deal. My father and I moved it, set it up, and played many a game on it. Unfortunately, when I moved out I had no place to put it, so I left it there for the time being. That’s been way more than 20 years now, of course. Long story short, much damage was done to the table over the years, so Scuba and I, along with some help from the new tenants, moved it, repaired it, and recovered the deck and rails with new felt.

Not only is it pretty again, it plays great…

A closeup shot of the mechanical room. Out of sight, but with plenty of room to affect repairs and even store some things…

And finally, not wanting to waste space, Scuba and I took advantage of the area behind the Mechanical Room and installed a small closet on the left – door and shelves forthcoming – as well as a small platform on the right where we flush mounted a bar fridge my father had stored at the house. The perfect place to keep a few cold ones for “Beer Thirty”… Especially since my knees are having trouble with stairs these days…

Okay, that’s it for now. More updates on Hell House when we create more havoc over there… As I said, it’s the gift that keeps on giving, and there will be plenty more work, that’s a given…

More to come…

Murv