BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

…Is probably SMEAT.

I bet you thought I was going to say TREET, didn’t you? Well, if it comes to the actual product, yeah, TREET is likely to be what you’ll find in my cupboard. As I’ve pointed out before, I can pick up TREET for 99¢ at the local supermarket, whereas its almost identical cousin SPAM is more along the line of 3 bucks. It doesn’t take Professor Eppes from Numbers to do that math. Hell, I can even do it without taking off my shoes and socks.

But, let’s get back to SMEAT.

You see, when you create a work of fiction, grey areas of copyright law such as “Fair Use” don’t apply. What this means is, you can’t quote song lyrics without permission, and it’s a really, really bad idea to use trademarked brand names without permission. Unfortunately, obtaining permission can sometimes – actually, most of the time – be a mission you’d rather not undertake. I managed to luck out and obtain permission from Michael Moorcock, the copyright holder on the lyrics for a particular song performed by Blue Oyster Cult. And, let me tell you, it really was luck. I’ve tried to snag permission to quote lyrics from other artist’s since, and they’ve all either simply not replied, told me no way, or most often immediately replied with “GIMME GIMME A big a$$ chunk of your pie” – (apparently they too think we authors just rake in the cash.) Don’t get me wrong… It’s their intellectual property – or in many cases, belongs to a music licensing firm – but, I’m here to tell you they can be pretty ridiculous when it comes to their expectations regarding payment.

And, music isn’t the only thing we are talking about here. Brand names of products fit into this mix as well. Of course, there are also certain trademarked names that have actually become so pervasive as to end up in our colloquial lexicon, such as “Kleenex”. Give a listen during cold and flu season sometime. Between the sneezes and sniffles, the majority of the sick folk will refer to tissues as “Kleenex”. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that. It’s simply something that has become ingrained in our culture – which was what the company was trying to do in the first place. However, since “Kleenex” is trademarked, if a character in a story happens to need a good nose blow, to be on the safe side they should probably use a tissue, not a “Kleenex”… Readers will still know what you are talking about. In fact, for many of them, they will simply think “Kleenex” in place of tissue. It’s one of those Jedi Mind tricks our brains play on us.

But, if you really want to us “Kleenex,” I’m not about to stop you. As I’ve made perfectly clear, I have no intention of telling anyone how to write. Not my place, not my thing.

But, let’s get back to the SMEAT.

You see, unless you are watching a big budget Bond flick, or some other Hollywood advertising vehicle that contains insane amounts of bought and paid for product placement throughout, the props you see on screen aren’t necessarily what you think they are.

Yeah… It’s another one of those Jedi Mind tricks.

You see, you aren’t likely to see SPAM in a movie. What you will see is SMEAT. Of course, had it been me designing the props, I would have called it SMEET – you know, SPAM plus TREET… But, I can see where they were coming from. At any rate, the same thing applies for just about anything else you see on the screen – cans of soup, books, newspapers, etc. None of them are real. They are fabricated to look close enough to an actual product so as to trick your mind into instantly recognizing it. Of course, some of them are simply made to look “real,” but not to necessarily trigger a subliminal connection to an actual product. For instance, the book cover above. For me, “Sky Sluts” doesn’t trigger a connection to an actual book title, nor does the cover art. However, I have to admit, now that I’ve seen it I’m damn curious about what the actual story might be. My guess is that it is fairly weak on plot, substance, character development, and maybe even writing. However, I get the impression it tries to make up for all of that with action.

Now, if you don’t believe me about this whole movie prop thing, I can understand your skepticism, but I’m not making it up. For instance, SMEAT was used in an episode of Millennium, as well as some other movies. Take a close look at soda cans and beer cans in your favorite television shows. At first glance the labels look downright familiar, but if you focus on them for a second, suddenly you get the full picture. In the interim, if you are interested in seeing more, take a surf on over to this web address:

The Earl Hays Press

These are the folks who design and print the “look alike” props you see in movies. They go all out with the details too, because you never know when a closeup might be in order.

Oh, and while you are there make sure you check out the Booze labels. Trust me, you’ll get a laugh.  I mean, it’s not every day you see a bottle of “Snotliknaya” Vodka or “Bar Fly Label” Gin.

Yeah, that’s the real kicker about this stuff. The entire time it is evoking a brand recognition in our subconscious mind, it is also packing tongue in cheek details that are good for a snicker or two…

All I can say is the folks who design these props must have a ball.

More to come…

Murv

You know, I had reconciled myself to just forgetting about the fact that my books are being pirated on the internet, thereby placing any continuation of the Rowan Gant series on shaky ground. I mean, I can’t blame the publisher. If the books aren’t selling because someone is distributing them for free, then why bother? If they can’t even recoup their investment then it really doesn’t make much sense for them to continue throwing money at it.

At any rate, like I said, I figured I’d just not get any more upset over it than I already had. I have plenty of crap going on in my life right now, plus I need to finish another manuscript for the pirates to steal. Things were going along fine. I had put it into the back of my mind (since there was nothing I could do to stop it) and I was coping.

Then, I went to an event.

At said event I met several folks who were terribly excited to make my acquaintance. They were huge fans, had read all of my books, and simply couldn’t wait for the next one. Major ego boost here. Gotta love that. Then, they dropped the other shoe. Actually, they kicked me with it. Seems that none of them had ever purchased my books. Nor had they borrowed them from friends or libraries.

No, they had downloaded them via one of the pirate torrents…

Oh, but it gets better… After reading and enjoying them, they proceeded to email the files to all of their friends, who in turn did the same…I got to meet some of them too…

I politely explained to these folks that neither the publisher nor I had received payment for those pirated books. I politely told them that since I wasn’t getting paid, it made it hard for me to pay my bills, which meant I might have to stop writing and go get a different job. Hence, no more RGI novels, which would be sad for the fans, me, and the characters who have taken on lives of their own.

They blinked. Then they asked if I knew how soon they might be able to download my upcoming novel.

I think I’ll go scream into a pillow now…

Murv