BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

We’re about to have a problem… A BIG one. As in, Cat on a Stick.

As most of you know, we tend to rescue animals. Cats, in particular. Now, while we haven’t been taking any in for several years now, we recently ended up in a situation where we DID take in a half-drowned, flea-bitten, six-week old, somewhat feral kitten rescued from a highway post flash-flood.

E K and I wanted to call him ARK (Almost Road Kill) because the person who picked him up actually saw him nearly get hit by a car. When I say nearly, I mean the kitten was literally pummeled by the rush of air from the vehicle’s tires as it screamed by on the highway. In fact, the person picking him up thought that he actually HAD been hit. As it turned out, he hadn’t. Good thing too, because there wasn’t much of him there to hit… As it turns out, the o-spring sort of adopted him for her own, so she named him Tiger. Me, I just call him “Nachos El Tigre” or, more recently, “You #$@@^&* SH*THEAD!”

Why? Because the little bastage has taken to playing under my desk. Now, it’s already bad enough that I’m getting kitten needle claws stuck in my legs, but that’s not the BIG issue. The BIG issue is that he has discovered the cords on the back of my computer.

Actual pic of Sh*thead "killing" the feather on a stick...

And he plays with them…

And he unplugs them…

Or he jumps up and down on the UPS until he lands on the button…

Know what happens?

My system shuts down. Unceremoniously. Without warning. WITH extreme prejudice. Killing and corrupting files that I have open.

Fortunately, he hasn’t destroyed a manuscript yet. Besides, I keep those backed up all over the place so we should be safe.

But I’m here to tell you, if the little sh*t messes up any of my “pR0N”, he’s toast… Just kidding. I back that up too… 😉

More to come…

Murv

I am powerful busy right now.

I have to cap off a manuscript and have it in by deadline on Tuesday. I have work to do in the garden. Family obligations. A honey-do list as long as the Missouri Revised Statutes A-Z Unabridged… And about 72,000 other sundry things to do before I get back in front of the keyboard and hammer out another manuscript that is due later this year.

What with this being a holiday weekend, one would think I’d be relaxing. But no… Too much to do, not enough time to do it.

But that got me to thinking. I know, dangerous. I agree. But it happens every now and then. What’s really scary is that it only tangentially relates to the litany above…

So, this thinking… You see, I recently presented my ethics workshop at PUF, and then ended up in a discussion with Missus Loota-Chack (AKA – Anastasia “The A-Bomb”) about ethics. One of the things is that it all comes down to a set of rules. Sort of like those pirate guidelines, ya’know?

At any rate, we all need some rules to live by and that is what spurred my thinking. After much aspirin to quell the headache that ensued (from all that thinking) it finally dawned on me. A truly great philosopher of our day has already provided us with the necessary wisdom to successfully navigate this thing we call life. A simple set of rules that, when followed, will keep you worry free and as close to bliss as any one person can truly hope to be.

I would like to impart those rules to you now…

Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

Ya can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
Ya can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it

Well, ya can’t go a-swimmin’ in a baseball pool
Ya can’t go swimmin’ in a baseball pool
Ya can’t go swimmin’ in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

Ya can’t change film with a kid on your back
Ya can’t change film with a kid on your back
Ya can’t change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

Ya can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
Ya can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

All ya gotta do is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it

Well, ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

Ya can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
Ya can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
Ya can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to

Ya can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd…

Roger Miller had it all figured out. There… Now go forth and be blissful… And leave your roller skates at home.

More to come…

Murv