BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

As I’ve noted in the past, The Evil Redhead is sort of an environmental dominatrix. By that I mean if you harm the environment, she will torture you. She’s just that kind of gal. We even call her Kippy The Eco-Terrorist – behind her back, of course. Otherwise she does really mean things to us. It’s not the eco-terrorist part that bothers her. Actually, she kind of likes that title. However, she absolutely hates being called “Kippy.”

Go figure…

At any rate, because of her whip wielding eco-activism, E K has informed me that I am to remind everyone of the following:

November 8-14 is National Recycling Week

And

November 15th is America Recycles Day

Recycling is important. Not only does it reduce waste and help the environment, it keeps The Evil One happy. Of course, torturing her victims keeps her happy too, but when she tortures litterbugs and BP execs, anger tends to overshadow her enjoyment of the process, rendering her moody and otherwise not so much fun to be around.

And, we all want E K to be happy, correct? I know I do, and I even have the scars to prove it…

To that end, at various events we have made available, for free, “E K Recycles Stickers” and “E K Consequences Motivational Posters”. These items have been an ENORMOUS hit with folks, and we’re relatively certain that it isn’t just because they are free. So, since we don’t make it to every corner of the world, or even country, we thought we’d put printable versions of the sticker and poster out there for those of you who want them, but haven’t been able to get them. These files are, of course, free of charge and you should feel free to distribute them as long as they remain unaltered.

Should you not have access to a printer with water resistant ink, these stickers are also available at the On The Edge Graphics Cafepress Store. Of course, those are NOT free, but the are sold strictly at cost/base price, with no markup. (http://www.cafepress.com/otegraphics/6955205) – You will also find many other E K Recycles items, from re-usable water bottles and shopping bags to t-shirts and hoodies. Feel free to check out the rest of the On The Edge Graphics store for RGI and other Brainpan Leakage Swag as well…

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(Links to the Hi-Res files can be found below each picture)

Want Some Printable EK Says “Recycle Or I’ll Hurt You” Labels?

Click Here For The PDF

And, just in case you think she isn’t serious about meting out punishment, she wanted you to see the proof below. Aluminum cans aren’t the only things she enjoys stomping. Yes… She really is a bit militant about the recycling thing.

Want A Printable ‘CONSEQUENCES” Motivational Poster?

Click Here For The 300dpi JPG (11×17)

More to come…

Murv

Commercials… You just never know what kind of havoc they will cause. For instance, you have that whole Filet-O-Fish thing going on. There’s even a ring tone for your cell, just like in the commercial itself.

As a matter of fact, E K was at a bank just the other day, stomping a printer into submission – what with her being Queen of the Printer Technicians and all – when a cell phone nearby began ringing. It was, of course, the Filet-O-Fish ring tone.

That’s when the havoc ensued.

As I understand it, E K went over and stabbed the guy in the head with a screwdriver, then stomped his cell phone until it was quiet. Oddly enough, she wasn’t charged with assault or even destruction of property. Apparently she received a standing ovation from everyone else in the bank. You may have read about it in the papers.

Now, me, I actually like the Filet-O-Fish jingle. But, don’t tell E K. She carries a screwdriver in her purse and I’m not big on being stabbed.

Of course, as usual, I am chasing a chicken of different plumage – by that I mean, I’m actually here to talk about a different commercial. Not the Filet-O-Fish song.

So… Anyway… Yeah… Guess I’d better get on with it then…

You see, the other day the O-spring and I were heading out to run some errands. While I generally listen to the local NPR station whenever I’m in the Merp Mobile, on this particular occasion I was in the mood for some tunes, so we were dialed in to the local classic rock station. Fortunately, the O-spring has very diverse musical tastes. She does get into some J-Pop and other stuff that really drives me insane, but she can also be equally entertained by ZZ Top, Black Sabbath, or Billy Joel (ad infinitum). Way cool, eh?

Yeah, I know, I’m getting off track again…

Back to the story… Since we were listening to a commercial station, obviously there were commercial breaks. Since this was shortly before Valentine’s Day, one of them happened to be for a Boudoir / Lingerie Chain that was advertising “Designer Underwear.”

Again, havoc ensues. The following is a best recollection accounting of the conversation that came in the wake of said commercial…

After a thoughtful pause, the O-spring, with an overabundance of confusion in her voice said, “Designer Underwear?! Who would want that?!”

“Well, honey,” I said. “Some people are all about the labels and things like that.”

“Oh, okay,” she replied.

I could tell by the way she said it that we weren’t finished. The traffic signal ahead of us winked so I made my left hand turn and proceeded down the road. The kid stewed silently for another minute or two. You could almost hear the cogs and gears clattering against one another as she concentrated.

Finally she announced, “I guess you just have to be old enough to want designer underwear.”

I was intrigued, so I asked,  “How old is that?”

“Old enough to have a boyfriend,” she replied with a matter-of-fact air about her.

I “schnerked” and tried to avoid spitting a mouthful of coffee all over the inside of my windshield. Gathering my composure I followed up with, “Well, how old do you think that is?”

Once again, gears and ratchets began grinding, clanking, and whirring. A moment later she replied, “I don’t know.”

Like any father with a daughter, I saw a perfect opportunity before me. “Well,” I said. “I’m pretty sure that you aren’t old enough to have a boyfriend until you’re 40.”

“Okay,” the O-spring said, not even flinching. “Sounds good.”

“So, we’re agreed then. You aren’t going to have a boyfriend until you turn 40, right?”

“Right.”

As good a memory as the kid has, I’m fairly certain that in a few years she won’t remember this conversation at all. I’ll definitely remind her, but I don’t think it will do any good.

All I can say is when “teenhood” rolls around and she decides to break the pact, I know there’s nothing I can do. However, if she asks for money to go buy designer underwear, we’re going to have a problem…

More to come…

Murv