BRAINPAN LEAKAGE

A gentle reminder: I don’t just spout silliness here on this blog. I also write novels. Those are what put the bread on the table, but bread is just about it as far as that goes. My wife has to bring home the bacon (and broccoli, and eggs, and milk, and…) That’s not what this is about, however…

If you have read my official bio over on my regular “author type person” website then you have probably run across the part about us having a pair of rescued felines, both of whom I describe as “the competition.”

Why “the competition?” some have asked.

Easy. They’ve got a thing for The Supreme Redhead. Yeah… E K.

Now, I realize that sounds a bit paranoid, but let me tell you a story. A recent story, in fact, and not at all unusual around here with these furry lunatics.

Just the other night, E K was on the sofa, and Competition #1, AKA Asphalt (because we rescued him from the middle of a highway on-ramp) immediately climbed onto her lap. He does this every time she parks for more than two minutes. Yes… I can hear you now, “But, Murv, that’s normal for cats.”

Yeah… sure.

As usual, E K babbled at him a bit, making all those “wooja-wooja ai lub yoo” noises and scritching him behind the ears. Now, remember, Asphalt started life as a kitten the size of a large hamster, but has grown to better than 20 lbs and has a head the size of a small melon. So, with him sprawled across EKay’s lap, she is sort of trapped.

The bag of tuna breath waited until she was finished and had directed her attention elsewhere. Then, he looked around, stared directly at me for a moment, then shifted a little, raised a paw, and copped a feel.

Yes. Pardon the colloquialism, but the old lardass planted his paw on EKay’s right “boob,” and left it there. Then, he looked at me with an expression on the order of, “Neener Neener, What’re you gonna do about it?”

And before you tell me that it was just a cat being a cat, I’d like to remind you that I saw the look on his face, so I know better.

All I can say is that if he starts bringing her dead stuff, he and I are going to go out back and have a talk. I’m pretty sure I can take him…

More to come…

Murv

…And it is US.

No, not the United States, although I do find some of the folks I’ve run into around the country to be a little suspect. And not the magazine either… Well… I haven’t read it, so maybe, I dunno.

But anyway, in this particular case I am talking about the letters U and S. Yep, a vowel and a consonant, go figure. Now, unless I missed my guess I’m sure you are wondering just exactly how the letters U and S could be the enemy. Well, they aren’t really, but it gave me catchy title.

Okay, okay… Calm down… There REALLY is a point to the U and S thing.

You see, I recently discovered that I am listed under the heading of “Famous Alumni” on the website for the district where I attended high school. I’m still a bit perplexed as to how this happened, or why the hell I am on said list, but hey, all good. Who am I to say… Well… It is ME we’re talking about here, so I guess I should have some say. So… Maybe I should be on the list of INfamous alumni… But, all this doesn’t really clear up the U and S thing, now does it?

So here’s the deal… Upon discovering this fact, quite by accident actually, I tweeted about it:

Just discovered that I am listed on my former shool’s district website as a “Famous Alumni”… http://ping.fm/m02wm O_o

Shortly after doing so I noticed an egregious error, but it was too late. Folks had already begun to comment upon the update on my FB page, and there wasn’t much I could do other than comment myself, pointing out that I had made an error and needed counseling. Especially since I was supposedly among the famous graduates all because I write books…

In case you aren’t noticing the error, it is the word alumni. I used it improperly. You see, alumnI is the plural version. The singular (masculine) version being alumnUS.

Srsly.

I know… Kind of counter intuitive, don’tcha think? I mean what with US being plural and I being singular you would… Well… Who am I to argue with the OED?

Oh… And the singular feminine? AlumnA.

Not even gonna go there… Nope… Not gonna do it.

More to come…

Murv

PS. Over on Facebook we’ve been commenting back and forth about the fact that in the original tweet school is spelled “shool” – I probably should have addressed that as well, as it would have actually made this post funnier. But, I’m ill right now so you have to give me a break. 😉

Suffice it to say, on Twitter, nobody mentioned the “shool” typo, but I sure did hear about the whole “alumni vs alumnus” issue. 😉