30th Dec 09
M. R. Sellars
The other day a friend of mine (yes, I have friends) told me that a mutual friend had asked him “what had happened to me?” By this she apparently meant, “What life altering experience had slapped me in the back of the head with a 2 by 4 and made me eschew my spiritual path.”
I’ll be honest. This came as a shock to me because I was entirely unaware that I had done so. My spiritual path has grown immensely over the years, but it has never been abandoned. It has been right there with me all along.
Now, granted, I have not “self-identified” as Pagan for quite a long time now. There are numerous reasons for this, none of which we will go into here because my blog is generally a fun place – although, I will admit to soapboxing every now and again. And, as it happens, I will be doing so here today… But, I really don’t want to create too many suds, if you know what I mean, therefore we will stick to one brand of detergent for this missive.
So, anyway, back to “what happened to me”… To be perfectly honest, at the outset I didn’t really think too much about the “question.” After all, it had been years since I’d seen the particular individual who was making the actual query, so I had to assume she was mistaking growth for a “negative change” (in her eyes, at least). But, as it turns out I wasn’t able to keep it on the back burner for long, because soon afterward I started receiving the annual “what’s wrong with you?” emails from other folks…
Yes, I said annual…
You see, not a year goes by that I don’t receive at least a dozen or so queries from folks out there who cannot seem to understand why a guy who writes books about Witches, and who portrays Paganism in general – as well as various specific alternative religious practices – in a positive, and moreover accurate light, would stoop so low as to celebrate *GaSp!* Christmas… After all, anyone with any sense whatsoever can tell you that the historical probability that Jesus – if he even existed – couldn’t possibly have been born on December 25th. But, even more importantly, how dare me, a “Pagan Author,” celebrate a *GaSp!* Christian Holiday. Everyone knows they co-opted our celebration, so why am I choosing to observe it and lend credence to them? Have I *GaSp!* turned into a Christian?
Oh noes… Say it ain’t so!
I’ll be truthful here – At all of this nonsense I would expel a hearty laugh were it not so utterly sad and ridiculous. Instead, I find that I must expel a hearty and saddened sigh, complete with a shake of my head.
You see, what always seems to prompt these emails is the fact that E K, the O-Spring, and I exchange gifts on Christmas morning instead of Yule proper – that being the Winter Solstice. The complaint is, if we were “proper Pagans” we would exchange our gifts on the 21st of the month – or for the truly fundamental, 0 degrees Capricorn – instead of observing a *GaSp!* Christian Holiday.
Yes… Believe it or not, that is the basis of the “what’s wrong with you?” emails I receive each year… Some of them are actually flat out scathing, accusing me of undermining Paganism. Apparently I am a spy sent to infiltrate the ranks of Pagandom and infect it with Christmas Cheer… Who knew? Hell, I’ve even had people tell me they are never going to read my novels again, because obviously I am “not Pagan enough” to warrant their attention.
True story. Really. Even I couldn’t make this sh*t up.
So, allow me to point out a couple of things that might have some bearing on what is wrong with me…
- My family and I celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday. This means the Coca-Cola Santa Claus and all that jazz, even though the O-Spring hasn’t believed in the jolly elf for many a year now.
- We also celebrate Yule as a spiritual holiday. For us, this means a fire, a feast, and good friends present at both to help us usher in the light.
So, what does all this mean? Well, depending on who you ask it apparently means that “I ain’t Pagan enough,” all because we wait an extra 4 days to open our presents.
Oh well… Guess I’d better turn in my broom…
More to come…
Murv
Darla
December 30th, 2009 at 06:05
We need to start a club! I am not pagan enough either. We also celebrate both.
I see no problem with it. Anytime I get the opportunity to welcome friends is a holiday! I do not recognize ownership of holidays. Because, well no one does really. That would be like my claiming my birthday as only mine and everyone else who was born that day need not bother to celebrate. Silly. Though should they all choose to forward their gifts to me, well, I will graciously accept. 🙂
M. R. Sellars
December 30th, 2009 at 06:33
I really need to finish another blog entry I have had on the back burner for some time now… It goes into some details about why I stopped “self-identifying” as Pagan even though my beliefs and spirituality haven’t changed. It also talks about many of the other “Pagan Fundie” attacks to which I have been subjected.
I’m certainly not bashing the Pagan community at large – there are great folks in it, just as there are in every religious sect out there. But, by the same token, there is also quite a bit of head in the sand going on by Pagans who don’t believe they have their very own contingent of Fundamentalist Blowhards running around giving them a bad name…
After traveling the country for the past 10 years doing book signings and presenting workshops at more Pagan/Alternative Spirituality events than you can shake a stick at, I’ve seen that aspect up close and personal way too many times, and “it ain’t pretty”…
Joyce Jordan
December 30th, 2009 at 08:12
Know what? I celebrate both, too. ANY time I can have family and friends here is a celebration. Like you, Christmas is the Santa Claus time for us… Yule is our spiritual time…..I don’t see what is so difficult for others to deal with, there. I’m like, “Okay, no Santa presents for YOU, then.” Puts a whole new light on their arguments. hehehehe….
M. R. Sellars
December 30th, 2009 at 08:15
I agree wholeheartedly. But, there are just some folks out there who aren’t happy unless you toe THEIR line…
Kanisuma
December 30th, 2009 at 08:36
Welcome to the club, Murv. I struggled with whether or not to continue with Christmas celebrations when i committed to the path. Then, a few years back, my family and i were, basically, cut from the group of solitaries we fellowshipped with. All because i wouldn’t stop “doing Christmas”. Eh, i say it was a blessing though. Ever since, we do our feasting on Yule, presents on Christmas, and, due to the huge amounts of food i make, the leftovers draw in visitors during the four days in between. Essentially, we wind up celebrating the season for more than five days! My kids are more than fine with that and my hub loves the copius amounts of delicious food. ^_^ You’re right, though, every single spiritual path has those fundamentalists… Then again, without the fundies, my family may never have found out about all the extra fun we could have. All the way from Yule to Christmas. Hehe. ^_^ Be well!!
M. R. Sellars
December 30th, 2009 at 08:40
I think we should set up a website where we make fun of fundies from all paths… We could call it FunWithFundies.com 😉
Kanisuma
December 30th, 2009 at 09:02
I’m in! Where do i sign up? ~_^
Melanie Eberling
December 30th, 2009 at 09:17
okay, so I guess I’m in the same club. I actually, horror of horrors, celebrate Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Yule and anything else that comes along at this time of year. I believe in celebrating the spirit of the Holidays, not any one specific holiday. I also have Christian friends, Jewish friends, African friends and Pagan friends. I celebrate with them in their traditions because they honor me and my friendship enough to invite me along. By limiting yourself to one type of celebration, you miss out on all the joy that can be found this time of year. I honor my spiritual, solitary, side by observing Yule with a private ritual that lifts up my spirits and contributes to the joy being spread all over.
People need to get over themselves. After all, aren’t we the ones that say there is no wrong way to connect with Deity?
M. R. Sellars
December 30th, 2009 at 09:23
On the nose there, Melanie… We actually observe the other holidays around here as well… In fact, our daughter wants to have a Menorah next year, which is just fine with us – AND, though we are not Jewish, we will certainly make sure she understands the significance of the candles, the celebration, etc.
Religious education should be exactly that – education about ALL spirituality, not merely one. That isn’t education, it’s indoctrination.
MarnieColette
December 30th, 2009 at 09:20
I am in the same boat… you can’t have both is what I keep hearing (or the ignore the side of me that suits them.)
My answer is why not I choose to celebrate the Yule spiritually and Christmas as a family tradition of eating corn beef and exchanging presents with family (plus I love wrapped presents under the tree) Its not like I have the Yule off to spend time with the family like I have Dec 25th.
how about a website called pathnotclearymarked.com — not everything is black and white for all people.
Happy ChanYuleMasWanza to everyone!
Kanisuma
December 30th, 2009 at 09:46
I just about cried from relief! I honestly thought we were (possibly) the only poly-theistic (i’m sure that spelled wrong…) household. Not kidding. We live in a very conservative, christianity-based area so it’s hard not to think you’re on your own when you allow your children to explore different pathes. After all, what i choose for myself won’t necessarily fit another person. Esepcially my children. They DO come in smaller packages. Hehe. Besides, the more we’ve learned about other pathes, the more our own spirituality has become enriched. It’s quite amazing really. Thank you to all of you! ^_^
DallasRedhead
December 30th, 2009 at 09:54
Oy. I hate that. What holidays you celebrate and how you celebrate them is no one’s business but yours, EK’s and the O-spring’s.
Fundies in any religion/spiritual path suck.
Tasialue
December 30th, 2009 at 13:16
Okay, I have to say it:
The snow on your website here doesn’t pile up at the bottom. It just disappears. Looks like magic to me. Er, excuse me….I mean “magick.”
Are they coming after you for that, too? “Magicking without a proper pagan license”?
Sheesh….some people….
M. R. Sellars
December 30th, 2009 at 13:24
That’s because I have “stick at bottom” turned off 🙂 (seriously)
And, as for them coming after me for that too… You would be AMAZED at the things for which “they” come after me. I think I probably really do need to finish that other blog entry I’ve had on the back burner… truth is, it could be a multi-parter…
Sandi
December 30th, 2009 at 14:48
Murv, you should talk to Doug about the FunWithFundies.com site. He had one years ago and still has lots of good material I’m sure he’d be happy to share with you. Just make sure you tell us where to sign up for the site!
Like everyone else here, we celebrate all three of the holidays: I was born Jewish, Doug was born Xtian, and we’re both Pagan-based in our spirituality. I could care less what anyone thinks or says about it, since we do what we want in the privacy of our own home. “If you don’t ‘approve’ of what I do, then don’t look.” is my motto. And the same goes for me. I don’t need anyone’s approval or comments of what I do in the privacy of my four walls, and will also keep my comments and approvals (or lack thereof) to myself.
What gives anyone the right to think they can/should comment on what someone else does?? Silly me, all this time I thought Pagans were more accepting and understanding of our differences.
Gina
December 30th, 2009 at 18:17
I have a hard time writing this because trying to define “paganism” is worse than trying to nail jello to a herd of cats… but basically, Paganism embraces polytheistic principles – all gods are God, all goddess are the Goddess… etc. And my understanding is that most Pagans embrace all religions. If it’s ok to embrace the Gods of the Hindus, the Greeks, the Romans, the Celts, the Norse, the Egyptians… then wherein does it say that we must exclude the Gods of the western religions? Don’t. Get. It. I don’t understand why suddenly the Christians are “them” and if you identify with “them” at all, you’re a bad Pagan. I was born and raised a very strict Catholic; and while I have rejected the Catholic Church for its misogyny and hypocracy, I still tend to celebrate the holidays that I grew up with as a child as my cultural (but not necessarily religious) traditions. And hey – we celebrate both Solstice and Christmas, too.
So buck up, friend. I think you have more friends who applaud your celebration of life, love and spirituality, in whatever form that takes, rather than who choose to criticize you for what they deem are your inconsistencies with their idea of what your religious practices should be.
Lisa Kimble
December 30th, 2009 at 20:32
Forget those that are negative. I always feel that people that need to attack how others live their spiritual path are just insecure in their own.
You and your family have the right to celebrate or not celebrate anything that you wish to and in any manner in which you see fit as long as it isn’t hurting anyone else.
It seems that a few people need to go back to basics and read the Rede again.
“Do what thou will and it harm none”…
Blessings to you and yours.
JodiLee
December 31st, 2009 at 03:35
We do both around here, because outside of my girls, myself, and my younger brother, the rest of the family is not pagan. Why should I force them into celebrating only Yule with us? Why should I cut them out of holiday craziness? Why should we miss my mom’s turkey? LOL
Jamie Brown
December 31st, 2009 at 04:04
Thanks for writing this. It’s bizarre to hear of pagan fundies, yet I also have encountered them. Apparently “fundie” is a plague which affects all religions… I fail to see why it is a problem for you to celebrate, in whatever manner you wish, a holiday which was “coopted” from the pagans, i.e., is essentially a pagan holiday in the first place, which Christmas clearly is. I thought everybody knew that the emperor Constantine set it up like that on purpose, so that the Christians and pagans could celebrate the Solstice together. Duh. In addition, I don’t understand the pagan fundie refusal to celebrate another manifestation of the Dying and Reborn God who clearly also has His roots deep in the pagan tradition. WTF?! I guess the solar deities are just not very popular nowadays. Sigh. Happy Holidays to all, unless of course the word “Holiday” (Holy-Day) is offensive to someone, which undoubtedly it is.
M. R. Sellars
December 31st, 2009 at 06:24
Just so we are all on the same page, I really wasn’t “boo hooing” about any of this – just telling the story. I have been dealing with this for years, and it became especially prevalent as soon as my name was on the front cover of a book.
I have been told by more than one fundie that because of being in the public eye as a “Pagan Author” I am held to a different set of standards. I certainly don’t dispute that at all – when one is as public as I must be in order to promote my books that is expected. What I take exception with, however, is that the “standards” vary widely depending on the fundie.
I learned long ago that you can’t please everyone. It’s just like getting a bad book review. No matter what I write, SOMEONE is going to hate it. And, no matter how I choose to live my life/celebrate my spirituality/brush my teeth/fix a PBJ/ad infinitum, SOMEONE is going to tell me I’m wrong.
HOWEVER, I do want to say thanks for all the support y’all have shown here – I know that the majority of the community are not crazed fundies, but unfortunately, they are the ones with the loudest voices most of the time. 🙂
Mariah
December 31st, 2009 at 13:09
A website to poke fun at fundies would be hilarious 🙂 I agree with you whole-heartedly…it IS ridiculous. I’ll admit in my greener years I was somewhat soured on Christianity, but I’ve come to believe in an “to each their own” mentality as long as it is not being shoved down my throat. I’ve had to temper my children’s attitudes sometimes with the bashing of others thing because they tend to get the same at school, but we focus on the idea of everyone finding their own path and “you don’t have to agree with it but you have to respect their rights to their opinions” approach. We too celebrate both and have our own traditions. Ours come from the fact that I chose not to raise my children in any particular path so they might choose for themselves as they got older. Now that they are older, they ask questions and know that I am “pagan” and have chosen to identify with that label. Maybe it will stay and maybe not…that is their choice. I think people miss the core underlying principle of the season and that is that no matter what religion you choose to adhere to it is a time for giving to those we love and those less fortunate and reflecting on the good fortunes we have ourselves. Ok…done with my soapbox!
And when someone tells you you’re wrong, just tell them “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” 🙂
Dawn
January 3rd, 2010 at 18:12
Well we celebrate both as well. Christmas as a secular holiday. Yule is more spiritual though we have chosen to exchange familial gifts at that time. It works. I have been told a time or two (or more) that I’m not “Pagan” enough either. My response is “get over yourself!”. Fundies are just a royal pain in the bum!
M. R. Sellars
January 3rd, 2010 at 19:21
Yeah… I just noticed an article on WitchVox that goes into the whole, “Pagans DO NOT celebrate Christmas” thing… Absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. :-/
Dawn
January 3rd, 2010 at 20:33
And I’m sure the author would be the first one to scream about needing to be accepting of differences. Do these types ever actually engage their brains? I’m thinking not fully!
selicka
January 5th, 2010 at 11:36
The Gift no matter what Day you choose to give it. is done with love. People need to think before they open up there mouth. I guess you have to bypass all the you shoulda done crap.and do we really give a shit what they think.