I’m not a big fan of lying. I was raised better than that.
One of the things my father always impressed upon me was that an individual has nothing in this world but his / her word. Therefore, if that word is worthless, that person truly has nothing at all.
Now, of course, there is certainly the old “circumvent the truth to save someone’s feelings” sort of thing. That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean flat out subterfuge. And, I should also note that this is not to say that I haven’t fallen off the truth wagon slightly. Just about everyone does at some point in their lives, no matter how honest they are. But, IĀ owned up to my mistake, which was minor but still enough to not be all that good. Afterward, I climbed back on the truth train and re-valued my word.
Now, I’m sure this sounds a bit funny coming from a guy who gets paid to lie. I mean, after all, what do fiction authors do for a living? That’s right, we make sh*t up. We tell lies about people who don’t even exist, all for the express purpose of making a buck. Well… The buck is kinda the ultimate goal, but we don’t really make too many of them to be perfectly honest. We do, however, entertain folks and most days that’s enough.
Rumor is I’m pretty good at it, where text is concerned. In person, apparently I have a “tell.” At least, that’s what E K says. I think it’s probably just because she’s the QB of the WFU and therefore knows everything already. I’m sure it has something to do with the red hair…
But, I’m sort of digressing, as is my usual M. O… Therefore, let’s move right along and talk about BLAM. Now, BLAM is something you might never have heard about outside the pages of a comic book (onomatopoeia and all that). And, I should also not that I am not now, nor will I ever be, referring to myself as “your old pal Vince.” So, rest assured, BLAM is not a revolutionary cleaner, solvent, chamois, or cheap plastic chopping utensil. No, BLAM is “Blog Spam.” Again, you may have never heard this term before, so I feel compelled to point out that I just made it up.
But, that’s not the point…
You see, Brainpan Leakage, like any other blog, is often the victim of SPAM in the comments section. I combat this on two levels. The first is a background filter that catches about 99% of it and stuffs it into the BLAM can. The second is that I require moderator approval on comments to my blog, therefore until I’ve read it and see that it’s not BLAM, it doesn’t show up online.
But, this doesn’t keep the BLAMMERS from trying, and in recent months they’ve decided to take a cue from the Email Spammers “subject line subterfuge” and start lying a whole lot. The thing is, they aren’t very good at it. So, today, I thought maybe I’d share a couple of my favorites. The IP’s, emails, and URL’s have been blocked out not for anyone’s protection, but because I have no desire to let them use my blog as a backlink…
(Click images to enlarge)
I just dunno… I think if you REALLY respected my work you wouldn’t be trying to sell my readers “cipro without a prescription.” But, that’s just MY opinion…
Okay, so obviously I missed something in my own blog. What the hell does being a Buddhist have to do with a crazed redhead chasing dogs around with a stiletto heeled shoe?
Define a “long time”… And no, I don’t want to purchase anything through your amazon store, thank you very much.
You run a couple of blogs on how to not be a victim of a serial killer/rapist – identity thief – sociopath? Must be hurting for content, eh? One question: Why does your URL have something to do with pet pedigrees?
LINUX? Really? I need to check my tags. Oh, and thanks, but I’ve already had my roof replaced.
There are similar blogs about the red cross running a blood drive at a Sci-Fi con? Wow. Must be a more popular topic than I thought. No sleeping pills for me, thanks. All I need is a generic Zyrtec…
There are actually plenty more from whence these came. I had trouble picking the examples to be perfectly honest. But, there you go. All in a day’s BLAM…
And, the moral of this story? If you’re going to try to blow smoke up my ass, then… well… umm… Don’t. But(t) if you insist on trying, at least put some thought into it…
More to come…
Murv
Gina
April 25th, 2010 at 07:42
I’m sure you also get promises of medications that will permanently enlarge your manly parts, diet aids that promise miracle weight loss, Nigerian embassadors who need a place to deposit 1 million pounds British sterling, and promises that you will find the woman of your dreams if you just shill out several hundred dollars, just like the garbage I find the AOL SPAM filter missed in my in-box. But it’s worse when you’re browsing news and blogs on the web and run across it as the first page or three in the comments section. I can’t tell you how annoying it is to read an article and wonder what Joe Reader’s response to it is and find nothing but bullsh*t BLAM instead of thoughtful commentary. And thanks for the new acronym, it’s perfect!
In re: lying: I know your o-spring is still impressionable so you may not want to admit it publicly, but be honest. Did you use your talent for word slinging to get away with a LOT of naughty stuff in your youth?
M. R. Sellars
April 25th, 2010 at 08:03
Actually, no. And yeah, I’m being honest, believe it or not…
As a child I’m sure I went through the same phase of lying that all kids do – the whole figuring out boundaries and such – “Did you draw on the wall with your crayons?” “No, not me.” …That sort of thing. But, weaving tales to get out of trouble or to get away with stuff, nope.
Weaving tales to entertain my friends and relatives… Well, yeah. I had a rich and intense fantasy world inside my head. Still do, in fact. (Or so I like to think…)
And, my “lying” from which I needed to recover the value of my word wasn’t something insidious like having an affair or cheating on my taxes or anything like that. I’m actually a pretty ethical guy. š
In reality it was more a matter of youth (twenties) and saying I would do something then not always following through. Not really flat out lying I don’t guess, but definitely damaging to one’s word/rep, and my father considered it lying so I did/do too… It took me a while to recover from that because people – rightfully – tended to assume I wouldn’t follow through on my promises. Fortunately, I recognized that I was being a moron early on and I fixed it instead of continuing down that road. After I managed to extract my head from my a$$, if I said I would do something I would do it unless there was a truly compelling and inescapable reason that I could not (My car explodes, held hostage by a redhead, rushing a family member to the hospital, etc…) That’s pretty much how I try to live my life to this day…
Now, as to the “word slinging lies,” oh hell yeah – I joke and exaggerate all the time. But, I make no secret of it – which is why my exaggerations are so over the top – and I do it for the entertainment of not only myself but everyone around me.
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Lovely
April 25th, 2010 at 16:59
can you really lie about people that don’t exist? in order for it to be a lie, wouldn’t there have to a matching truth? therefore, you are not paid to lie, you are paid to invent. you invent people and places and events. you invent new truths.
i wonder if you can get a patent for that?
now, i can get a great deal on sleeping pills for pedigree dogs from a bhuddist on amazon, all without a prescription.